"You remember my daughter Vicki, don't you?"
"Sure! I put a turkey carcass on my head and had sex with her on your kitchen table."
"That's my little girl!"

(from 3rd rock)

From the same episode:

"...To attach the electrodes of knowledge to the nipples of ignorance!"

especially for parchmentheart, as swiped from utforsker:

star trek inspirational posters.

my cat literally just turned off the tv with her ass. i was just sitting there, watching "batman begins", and suddenly the tv cut off. dafuck? so i looked over at the cat, who was sitting next to me on the couch, and realized that she'd planted her ass on the remote, and managed to hit the power button. bear in mind that it's an old remote, and ( Read more... )

i just got a much-needed laugh from 3rd Rock.

turkish nipple armor: "may these always point me towards the spoils of war."

from boingboing, by way of nadyalec:

interspecies love.

my favorite is the bit about the male duck accidentally drowning his previous mate during lovemaking. whoops!

BWAH!

(no, really, read it all the way through.)

okay, so i use a dish with a timer on it for brazil's morning food, so i don't have to drag ass out of bed at ugly o'clock to feed her, and so she doesn't get in the habit of harassing me awake when she's hungry. well, it just popped open, and she was right here next to my desk, which is halfway between the living room and the kitchen. when she ( Read more... )

...although, in lighter news, spicy spicy brains!


( Read more... )

swiped from boadiccea:

new and improved stereotypes to teach your children!

i especially like the one about gays po0ping marshmallows. hee.

continued exchange between me & my mom from yesterday ( Read more... )