Title: Growing Up Dorian
Chapter: 4
Author:
nighthawkms (beta'd by
mostepotenteGenre: Future!Fic, Possibly AU
Chapter Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Slash, Obscenities, Angst, Character Death
Chapter Pairing:(s) Click to be Spoiled:
Sam/Jenny, JD/Cox
Summary: Excerpts from the childhood of Sam Dorian Jr.
Disclaimer: Scrubs is the property of Bill Lawrence and I guess ABC network nowadays. I don't own it, I'm just playing in the 'verse!
Notes: Yay I'm back! I left for Italy shortly after posting my last entry, though I've been back for a while and the little voice in the back of my head was poking me to post this again. So here's the next chapter! It won't be as crazy depressing as the last one- promise.
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Sam’s first girlfriend was in the 9th grade. René was a year older than him and had bubblegum pink hair, which seemed to get pinker every time she smiled one of her infectious smiles. They made out two times behind the high school stadium bleachers and went to the movies together once, but their total official time as boyfriend and girlfriend was two weeks and three days (Sam knew this because he noted the start and end times in his journal).
In the 10th grade, Sam dated Natasha for exactly two months (March 1st to April 30th, with a little smiley face on the journal entry he wrote first date and a frowny face on the second). He made it to second base with her, but one day they both seemed to realize that they’d rather be friends than anything else. Sam wasn’t surprised that she started dating Paul only a week later; it hurt a little, but by the next week he was making jokes with her about the speed she could find a new guy.
Derek, who had transferred to the school after moving from Chicago and was a year younger than Sam, one day admitted to having a crush on him. He let Derek give him a kiss, but during so realized that he was definitely attracted to girls and not guys, and told Derek that he was sorry but he didn’t feel the same way. Sam felt like a complete dick after seeing the crushed look on the younger boy’s face, and tried to make up for it by introducing Derek to Frank Pearson, who had come out a year earlier and dropped away from his friendship with Jimmy Rowan. Frank and Derek got together, and Derek forgave him.
Sam watched Jenny move from boyfriend to boyfriend during their first two years of high school. Some were nice, and some were jerks; Sam had the distinct feeling that she only dated some of them to piss her dad off. He knew that she and her dad were having problems and had been distant since Mrs. Sullivan’s death. It seemed like every other day she was ringing the doorbell of his dad’s house and asking to stay over for the night. Sam’s dad usually allowed it, but only after calling Mr. Cox and making sure he was okay with it (and he knew their conversations on the phone never lasted more than thirty seconds, which was odd because he thought he remembered them talking a lot when he was younger…).
One day, in the eleventh grade, it happened. Sam was sitting in the school library; watching Jenny and her new boyfriend Zack have a quiet conversation across the table from him. All of a sudden he felt like his insides were clenching together, and found himself absolutely furious at Zack for no good reason. He couldn’t stop staring at Jenny and feeling the distinct urge that he was the one who she should be talking to, not stupid Zack. She was his best friend, not Zack’s.
“I feel like you’re spending all of your time with Zack,” he told her as they were walking home from school. “I feel like I don’t get to see you anymore!”
“Sam, I see you all the time. God, what is with boys; Zack complains that I spend all my time with you! Since when were boys the ones who got all jealous and pissy?”
“You’re always with him after school and we don’t have classes together this year!”
“Yeah, but I end up sleeping over your house at least three times a week! And we always do Thursday Night movies with Natasha and Paul.”
“You’re my best friend; it’s different!”
Jenny scowled at him in that way that reminded Sam of Mr. Cox. “Looky here, Mr. Overdramatic; you’re my best guy friend, and Natasha’s my best girl friend. Stop being a baby and acting all possessive!”
“I’m not being possessive!”
“Are too!” Jenny turned away from him as they reached her family’s apartment and called back at him. “Grow a pair already and stop clinging to me!” She ran up the steps and slammed the apartment complex’s door behind her.
Sam stood there for a moment, seething. “Stupid idiot,” he muttered to himself, smacking his forehead. “Now she’s mad at you. How does that help anything?”
He lay awake in bed that night, tossing and turning under the covers. Finally, as the clock next to his bed showed two am, he stumbled out from under the covers and moved to the window, pressing his forehead to the cool glass and closing his eyes, sighing.
The truth was, he was being possessive. He was being stupid and clingy and maybe Jenny was right, maybe he needed to back off. Maybe he should let her hang out even more with Zack and find other people to chill with.
His hand knocked against something leaning on the windowsill, and he opened his eyes, picking up the photo frame he’d bumped and holding it out so the moonlight shone over the picture inside. It was of him and Jenny at an ice cream shop in the 7th grade, where she was wiping a streak of ice cream down his cheek and he was grinning like an idiot at her. She was grinning at him too.
She hasn’t looked that happy in years, he thought, smiling sadly. God, I wish I could do something to bring that smile back again. He loved that smile, the way he remembered her looking back at him with mischief in her eyes and the way she laughed and teased him and defended him, and sometimes let him defend her; though rarely, occasionally, next to never… the way he never felt alone when she was around and would always set him straight when he was being an idiot; he even loved the way she looked when she was mad, it was powerful and enthralling and left him breathless and-
Oh god, he thought, eyes widening as he lifted his head to stare out the window into the starry sky. I’m in love with my best friend.
And even though he should have been terrified and it should have kept him up with worry for hours… Sam lay back down in bed and resigned himself to the fact, not unhappily, and fell asleep a few minutes later.
~
He didn’t know it for sure, but Sam had a feeling that Jenny was avoiding him the next day. She wasn’t waiting for him out in front of her apartment when he walked the usual route to school, and he only saw a few glances of her throughout the day. When the bell rang, she was again nowhere to be found, and Sam walked home alone. He didn’t really blame her for avoiding him; he had been kind of a jerk, and he didn’t know how he’d react to her when he saw her next. Finding out that you were in love with your best friend; well, it changed some things.
When he approached the front steps of his house, however, he saw Jenny sitting there, drumming her fingers on her knees and looking agitated. She smiled when she saw him and stood up to meet him.
“Can we talk?”
“Yeah… wanna come in?”
“Not really… can we go to that park a few blocks away?”
“Sure.” Sam threw his books inside the house, knowing his dad wouldn’t be back from work until later. They headed away from the house, walking quietly and not speaking. Sam wanted to talk, but he had a feeling that she had something important to say and didn’t want to say it in the middle of the street.
When they got to the park, which had a baseball field, a jungle gym, and a swing set, they found it deserted. Sam followed Jenny over to the jungle gym, where she sat on the edge of one of the wooden platforms. He sat next to her, remembering playing on this set with Jenny when he was younger. This platform was as high as my head once; now it’s at my waist.
“So, um, what did you want to talk about?”
“I- I’ve been thinking,” she said, keeping her head down and swinging her legs idly over the ground. “About what you said, and what I said; about us, mostly.”
Sam swallowed hard and nodded. “I’m sorry if I was being a jerk; you were right, I was being clingy. I don’t mind you spending so much time with Zack-”
“I broke up with him,” Jenny said, turning her head to look up at him. Sam’s chest constricted; her gaze bore straight into him and seemed to plead, please let me speak, I need to get this out.
“I realized that, well, you were right. I was spending too much time with Zack. In fact, any time I spent with him was too much. He was nice, but he wasn’t for me.
“And, and you’ve always been there for me Sammy.” She smiled softly, and he loved that smile; loved everything about it. “Through ups and downs, you always stood by me, even when I was being a bitch or I was breaking down, you never left. I can remember my mom’s funeral… you just sat there with me. You didn’t talk or try to tell me it would all be better or try to cheer me up. You just put your arm around me, and let me grieve, because you knew that was what I needed.
“And when I watched you walk away through the window yesterday, I realized that I didn’t want to lose you. You were right; Natasha and I are close, but we’ll never be as close as I am to you. You are my best friend, but you’re more than that… so much more. And, and I guess I’m trying to say that… I hope you feel the same way about me that I feel about you.”
Sam couldn’t break his gaze away from Jenny, but found himself sliding down to stand on the ground in front of her, reaching up and tugging on her shoulders to pull her down to his height. “Sam…” she started, but he shook his head and slid his hands up, heart pounding in his chest as he cupped her cheeks. The breeze picked up, whipping her hair around her face, and he swore it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.
Her hands slid themselves around his waist and their bodies came together, their lips meeting hesitantly before firmly pressing together in a first kiss. Sam felt the world drop out from under his feet, and wrapped his arms around Jenny’s back, hugging her close. He kissed her like the world was ending and didn’t want to stop; it was sloppy and unpracticed and their teeth clacked together once or twice but he didn’t give a damn; it felt so good, so natural, so right.
When the kiss finally ended, she pulled back slightly and rested her forehead against his, smiling up at him through her lashes. “So I wasn’t wrong?” she asked, lips showing traces of a smirk.
He grinned back at her. “Do I have to kiss you again to make you believe it?”
“I wouldn’t mind,” she laughed. “In fact I think it may take a lot of kissing to get me to believe you.”
Sam smiled and leaned back in. “Then let me continue to convince you.”
~~~~~
“So what did Shakespeare mean by this passage, Mr. Dorian?”
“Oh, umm…” Sam grinned sheepishly. Truthfully, he hadn’t been paying too much attention; between summer plans, finals, and college applications, his mind had been side tracked as of late. “Something about sexual innuendo like he always does?”
The classroom filled with giggles as Mr. Adrian sighed. “Actually, even without trying you’re correct. C’mon Mr. Dorian, pay attention; I know you like this stuff.”
“Sorry Mr. A,” Sam said. He caught Jenny’s eye from across the circle of desks; she was smirking at him. He made a face at her when Mr. Adrian wasn’t looking, and then turned back to his book.
Sam heard the knock on the door of the classroom, but kept his attention on his textbook until he heard his name called again. Looking up, he was met with the image of Ms. Seger, one of the school secretaries, standing by the door. “Mr. Dorian,” she said, waving a slip in the air, “can you come with me? Bring your things.”
Sam gulped and nodded, feeling his stomach twist into knots. He stood, stuffing his things into his backpack and glancing around the room, feeling the eyes of his classmates on his back. Memories came flooding back as he remembered watching Jenny do the same thing a few years earlier… stop it, he scolded himself. You’re overreacting.
They left the classroom and walked down the hall together. “W-what’s this about?” Sam asked, finally gathering the courage to ask Mrs. Seger.
She shrugged. “I’m not sure. All I know is that Mr. Oaks needs to see you and I was told that you needed to bring your things with you.”
Sam felt the knots in his stomach twist harder; this didn’t sound good at all. Maybe I’m getting an award, he thought, or getting promoted to college. Hahaha. Oh god…
They entered the main office and Mrs. Seger pointed Sam toward the Dean of Student’s door. He entered to find Mr. Oaks sitting there, conversing on the phone with someone.
“I have to call you back,” Mr. Oaks said into the phone. “Alright, goodbye.” He ended the call, putting the phone back in the receiver and turning his eyes to Sam. “Son, you may want to sit down.”
Sam gulped, and slid into one of the chairs in front of the desk.
“Mr. Dorian, I just got a call from your father’s workplace,” Mr. Oaks said. “He’s had a heart attack.”
“Oh god.” Sam dropped his face into his hands, staring at his palms, eyes wide in shock. He vaguely heard Mr. Oaks talk about getting him transportation to the hospital and asking if he needed to go get anything from his locker. “N-no,” Sam said finally, lifting his head. “Is my dad okay?”
“I’m not sure, son. The hospital just said he’d had a heart attack and that you should get there as soon as possible. I don’t want you driving there on your own; can someone take you?”
Before Sam could answer, he heard sounds of a commotion coming from outside the door, and turned as Jenny came bursting through it.
“What happened?” she asked, eyes wild. “They came back and said that you weren’t coming back to class for the rest of the day. What’s wrong?”
“Ms. Sullivan-Co-”
“Don’t call me that!” Jenny snapped. “It’s just Sullivan!”
“Fine- Ms. Sullivan,” Mrs. Oaks said, “why do you think it would be okay to just walk in here when you didn’t even know what was happening?”
“It’s my dad,” said Sam quietly, hoping to shut them both up. Jenny visibly blanched when she heard this and took a step back; Sam knew what she was thinking about.
“What happened?”
“Heart attack.”
“I’m going with you.”
“Ms. Sullivan, this isn’t any of your-”
“Of course it’s my business!” she shouted. “Mr. Dorian is part of my family, practically!”
“I can’t allow you to go unless your father gives permission, and I doubt he will.”
Jenny frowned at him, tapping her foot. “Let me call him,” she said. “I’ll try to convince him.”
“It will take ages to do so, and Mr. Dorian should get to the hospital now so he can see his father!”
“It’s okay,” Sam piped in. “Go ahead Jenny, call your dad.”
“You sure, Sam?”
“Yeah. I want you there.”
Jenny called the house phone, saying that her dad was off. “Hey, dad,” she said when the other line picked up. “Sam’s dad had a heart attack and he’s going to the hospital. Can you send Jack to pick us up and drive us there? He owes me, if he recalls.” She listened for a moment. “Yeah; here’s Mr. Oaks, he just needs to confirm it.” She handed the phone over to Mr. Oaks, who was looking very bewildered.
“Hello, Mr. Cox? Yes, I- well sure, if that’s what you wish. Alright.” Mr. Oaks put down the phone and looked at Jenny suspiciously. “Your dad says that you are to go with Mr. Dorian,” he said. “Your brother will be by to pick you two up in a few minutes.”
Mr. Oaks was right; Jenny and Sam had just gotten out of the door of the high school when Jack pulled up in his BMW. “Hop in,” he said, opening the side door. “So the old fart believed it?”
“Apparently,” Jenny said, sliding in the back seat with Sam. “I told you that you sounded like dad on the phone.”
“He’s gonna kill you when he finds out.”
“You’re the one who agreed to it!”
“Yeah, but I’m the only one in his good books right now.”
“You owed me! I covered for you when you came in smashed last month!”
“I hate to interrupt the sibling rivalry,” Sam shouted out, scowling, “but my dad had a heart attack; could we drive?”
“Sorry, Sam,” Jenny said, frowning and patting his shoulder. “Jack, step on it.”
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