Comments | nicpick: [Iron Man - PG-13

nicpick

[Iron Man - PG-13 - Tony] 48 hours

Jun 07, 2008 16:46

Title: 48 hours
Author: nicpick (Nic)
Characters: Tony Stark, Jarvis, James Rhodes, Pepper Potts
Rating: PG-13; language
Summary: Tony Stark doesn't know how he feels. About being tortured, about being a superhero, or about the possible existence of magic and aliens. [Spoilers for the after-credits teaser.]

( With his chest exposed and the lights dimmed, everything is tinged electric blue. )

iron man, fanfiction

Comments 19

meli_64 June 8 2008, 02:44:41 UTC

Great!

nicpick June 8 2008, 03:00:48 UTC

Thanks!

queen_haq June 8 2008, 05:43:39 UTC

I really liked the fragmented structure of this piece. I think it worked really well in displaying how disconnected Tony felt at times. Also, there are a few sentences in here which really stood out to me.

Everything is brighter when he's running on fear and adrenaline.

Great in explaining Tony's state of mind.

He has the remnants of a black eye sketching a ring of light blue and purple around his eye, and the bath water is making it sting along with every other scrape and bruise on his body.

Great visual.

Thank you for sharing this wonderful fic!

nicpick June 8 2008, 06:47:26 UTC

Thanks! It appears the fragmented style was the one that worked. :)

bennet_7 June 8 2008, 05:54:28 UTC

I like this a lot. The first part set the tone really well. Excellent work.

nicpick June 8 2008, 06:48:09 UTC

Thank you. The first part really popped into my head already written, I was hoping the image would be just as powerful for the readers.

gestalt1 June 8 2008, 15:02:45 UTC

I really like this! :D :D Are you just going to leave us myseriously hanging, or will there be a sequel? *looks hopeful*

Love the 'diving into the desert' bit. Poor Jarvis is stressed!

earlwyn June 11 2008, 23:44:31 UTC

Ooh, yay, more Iron Man fic from you!

I love how brilliantly you write Tony -- absolutely multi-faceted but never disjointed. He flows like one long brush stroke from lonely man to geeky boy playing with his toys to death defying superhero to amazing but tortured genius. And oh, ohhh, Tony.

This line is beyond perfect: Life has always been a mix of light and darkness, he's just messing with the contrast. As is this: He is not brooding. Hee. Pure Tony.