I know, keep bugging you about a job...you'll work in your own time....you always do....open that door when a window is closed....I just need to keep faith. I'm sorry I haven't been to church., having a hard time deciding what I will say to Father Rich about how I feel with the way the weekend retreat was mishandled ( Read more... )

Another week, still no job, went on an interview...strange, Dental office, wants someone happy, not moody not really expected to work hard. I want a job, with good benefits, that keeps me busy enough to get through the day...has vacation time...and a salary that allows me to pay the bills. I'm even willing to find part time work but can't do that ( Read more... )

Spent the night having the weirdest dreams. Watching someone walking in front of me, couldn't tell if it was Dad, Uncle John (who has passed away years before)...but they suddenly fell down and collapsed in front of me....I couldn't do much ( Read more... )

I loved Alaska, actually stood on the back of the NCL Pearl, watched the water coming from the engines and considered jumping...only thing that stopped me was the fact that I'd ruin my sister's vacation (dream vacation) and it would cost my family money to bury me. Sad isn't it...how 2 years ago I felt ontop of the world, had a good job, benefits, ( Read more... )

Leaving for Alaska at weeks end...I should be happy for a once in a lifetime trip, a cruise....tons of water, icebergs and beauty but I leave behind my heart...My Dad who although he pisses me off to no end, I love dearly...I feel like I'm losing 9 days with him...along with my beloved pups Gracie and Grissom...Gracie who I've only been away from ( Read more... )

I drove past a train today...looked at the tracks and wondered just how much it would hurt...if only for a moment to stand there and let it hit me....I wouldn't drive on the track, the car can be sold, it would pay off 'some' of the bills but certainly not all of them....then the thought hit me..again I would cost them more money...I have no job, I ( Read more... )

If you're listening...I'm tired...tired of being unemployed, tired of feeling like Dad has given up, tired of being the 'parent' to a man that does whatever he dam well pleases with diet, meds...etc ( Read more... )

I thought I lost my 300.00 "interview/funeral/party" suit when my Dad's cousin insulated and drywalled the garage, since he kept tossing everything in the garbage and the last time both me and my sister saw it the suite was rolled up in a plastic store bag and in a work wagon for gardening (don't ask why)...but we both KNOW that is where it was ( Read more... )

I went from a good paying job..one that I believe I did very well....to being unemployed, depressed....unemployed...hell they even fought and won so I didn't get unemployment...what goes around comes around? I'd like to live long enough to see it....some days....most days, not so much ( Read more... )

Is the end just and end or is the beginning a means to an end?  I ask myself that as I sit watching my team or, better yet, what's left of my team, Catherine who has taken the death of Warrick so personally that she won't even give most of us the time of day.