Love it! It's nothing big, but since you said to mention any mistakes; it should be stuck not stucked. I can't spell either though and English is my first and only language so I've no excuse!
Thank you so much. Now I know why my word programme didn't like "stucked" :) Stupid irregular verbs. I hated them back at school and I still can't get used to most of them.
*blush* Thank you! I'm glad you like it. And thanks for your help. I wasn't sure about this. I wrote "anxiously" in the first place, but changed it back :)
Here's a few more picky grammar notes, feel free to disregard.
Her body relaxed, while she took a deep breath. Strictly speaking, that comma shouldn't be there, since the clause starting with 'while' is dependent. However, you could get away with it as a stylistic choice if you really wanted to.
“Oh, C’mon, Rose,” The 'c' in "c'mon" should be in lower case since it is not the first letter of the sentence.
he replied half-hearted; It should be 'half-heartedly,' since 'half-heartedly' is modifying 'replied.' Since it's modifying a verb, it is an adverb, and adverbs generally (including in this case) end in 'ly.'
although he was still looking like a cat that's just swallowed a mouse Two things on this one: **The idiom is generally 'bird' or 'canary' rather than 'mouse' but I quite like the use of 'mouse' here. It adds a bit of character that using the standard idiom wouldn't. **It should be "that'd" (or 'that had') rather than 'that's' since the main verb of the sentence is imperfect tense rather than present tense.
Comments 8
Reply
Reply
It's nothing big, but since you said to mention any mistakes; it should be stuck not stucked. I can't spell either though and English is my first and only language so I've no excuse!
Reply
Reply
One thing though, since you said to mention any mistakes. In the first line you might want to change anxious to anxiously.
Reply
And thanks for your help. I wasn't sure about this. I wrote "anxiously" in the first place, but changed it back :)
Reply
Reply
Her body relaxed, while she took a deep breath.
Strictly speaking, that comma shouldn't be there, since the clause starting with 'while' is dependent. However, you could get away with it as a stylistic choice if you really wanted to.
“Oh, C’mon, Rose,”
The 'c' in "c'mon" should be in lower case since it is not the first letter of the sentence.
he replied half-hearted;
It should be 'half-heartedly,' since 'half-heartedly' is modifying 'replied.' Since it's modifying a verb, it is an adverb, and adverbs generally (including in this case) end in 'ly.'
although he was still looking like a cat that's just swallowed a mouse
Two things on this one:
**The idiom is generally 'bird' or 'canary' rather than 'mouse' but I quite like the use of 'mouse' here. It adds a bit of character that using the standard idiom wouldn't.
**It should be "that'd" (or 'that had') rather than 'that's' since the main verb of the sentence is imperfect tense rather than present tense.
Reply
Leave a comment