Comments | nhpw: Helps?

nhpw

Helps?

Jun 09, 2011 19:47

And like any sneak attack, there would inevitably be the moment when whatever was happening between them jumped up and yelled, “Surprise!” Sheridan was a soldier. He knew to watch out for these things in battle.

He should have been more wary of them in his personal life as well. As it was, it had thrown him completely for a loop when, two hours ( Read more... )

b5, real life, writing

Comments 9

icepixie June 10 2011, 01:07:22 UTC

No capital for the "w". It's continuing a sentence, not starting a new one.

Can't help you with the B5 question, I'm afraid. That's always where I get stuck writing Delenn too.

nhpw June 10 2011, 11:58:20 UTC

Thanks.

That's always where I get stuck writing Delenn too.

I think that's the eternal quandary of Delenn. How much does she really know? Where is the line between naive and sneaky?

(The comment has been removed)

nhpw June 10 2011, 12:03:32 UTC

Thank you. I knew I was right! But... sometimes it's hard to know when to argue with the grammar check (which is forever trying to correct my sentence fragments) and when not to.

enigmaticblues June 10 2011, 01:19:59 UTC

Hmm...I could see Delenn asking something completely out of left field, and probably something to do with sex. Like, she overheard a particular word, and she wants to know what it is. For example, you should have seen the expression on my dad's face when I asked him what a blowjob was...

nhpw June 10 2011, 11:56:23 UTC

For example, you should have seen the expression on my dad's face when I asked him what a blowjob was...

LOL.

I think this was maybe where I was initially thinking this was going to go? Maybe?

enigmaticblues June 10 2011, 13:05:04 UTC

Heh. Well, that whole thing was part of an elaborate setup by one of the kids at school. But I could see John thinking of Delenn being prim and proper, and then really surprised by her dirty mind, or some such.

vjs2259 June 10 2011, 09:32:03 UTC

Dinner in private or at a restaurant?

nhpw June 10 2011, 11:44:06 UTC

Dinner in private.

vjs2259 June 10 2011, 12:01:45 UTC

John serves dessert. Delenn lets out an ear-piercing scream.

After John climbs down from the ceiling, Delenn remarks, "When you bought me this food in the Zocalo, the man was calling 'Ice cream. Ice cream. We all scream for ice cream..."

There are more but I have to go to work...