Absolutely beautiful. There was such a nice languorous tone to the whole chapter that meshed so well with the plot. And oh! Tracing messages on backs. That was just lovely. Is that something every kid does at one point or another? But having them talk through that instead of through dialogue takes the kind of standard "I love you, let's do it" talk and makes it much more poignant and pretty to read.
I just want you to know that you've infected me, because I was planning on getting up early and writing on my script tomorrow, and instead something in this chapter made me think of an opening line for a fic - like we were talking about, just a single line all by itself - and now that's suddenly ALL I WANT TO WRITE. I don't even know what it would be about!
I'm glad you liked the story, though. Here is what's funny about this thing: it's been very harmless, G-to-PG for five chapters. The last one is like - "Oh, PS. This story was leading up to sex all along, in case you forgot." I tried to make it more artsy and less dirty because, you're right, it's been so languorous so far... we'll see.
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I just want you to know that you've infected me, because I was planning on getting up early and writing on my script tomorrow, and instead something in this chapter made me think of an opening line for a fic - like we were talking about, just a single line all by itself - and now that's suddenly ALL I WANT TO WRITE. I don't even know what it would be about!
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I'm glad you liked the story, though. Here is what's funny about this thing: it's been very harmless, G-to-PG for five chapters. The last one is like - "Oh, PS. This story was leading up to sex all along, in case you forgot." I tried to make it more artsy and less dirty because, you're right, it's been so languorous so far... we'll see.
But that's for a different day!
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Beautiful, while also seeming very realistic.
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