Comments | neverquitedies: Thirtieth Rebirth [video]

neverquitedies

Thirtieth Rebirth [video]

Aug 31, 2010 15:25

[The camera flickers on and finds Yuca, once again, sitting peacefully in his garden, an arm wrapped around his knees. He's got cuts and bruises here and there from his fight with Merlin, but for the most part, he still looks pretty okay. The flowers are just starting to bloom, and his fingers barely brush against one, as if he isn't sure of the ( Read more... )

here comes the crazy train, ~retsu unohana, idkmybff rain, , ~finnian, ~jr/albedo, falling in love with flowers, ~ciel phantomhive, so out of it i don't even, ~kurotsuchi mayuri, ~sasuke uchiha, rain rain go away, ~merlin, ~zuko, post-event shenanigans, stop being nice to me, ~tyki mikk

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[Voice // Private // Unhackable] innerfirewithin August 31 2010, 23:34:23 UTC

[It takes a good twenty minutes before Zuko works up the nerve to even turn on his PCD's response function, let alone talk to the priest. The mental breakdown had been too much. Too much. And apparently, with Yuca talking to himself about Rain and flowers and death, it had been too much for him too.

A quiet inhale of breath before he speaks.]

Yuca.

[Voice // Private // Unhackable] innerfirewithin September 1 2010, 04:05:49 UTC

You learned your lesson with what you did to Rain.

[Voice // Private // Unhackable] neverquitedies September 1 2010, 04:09:23 UTC

It wouldn't matter. It wouldn't make a difference.

[God, Zuko, gtfo of the only topic that actually hurts him.]

I don't want to talk about Rain anymore. Are you feeling better?

[Voice // Private // Unhackable] innerfirewithin September 1 2010, 04:14:04 UTC

[Zuko does not give a shit, man.]

No.

[And that's all he's going to say about that.]

[Voice // Private // Unhackable] neverquitedies September 1 2010, 04:15:20 UTC

[Yuca definitely does.]

...but the event is over.

[THAT TOTALLY MEANS ZUKO IS BACK TO FLOWERS AND SUNSHINE NOW, RIGHT?]

[Voice // Private // Unhackable] innerfirewithin September 1 2010, 04:18:15 UTC

It doesn't just go away.

[Instead of coming off as mocking Yuca, which Zuko intended, he sounds rather tired. Nightmares are fickle things.]

[Voice // Private // Unhackable] neverquitedies September 1 2010, 04:35:39 UTC

...ah.

[He sighs.]

I'm sorry.

[Voice // Private // Unhackable] innerfirewithin September 1 2010, 04:36:37 UTC

Shut up, Yuca, it was the Animus, and I'm not saying it again.

[Voice // Private // Unhackable] neverquitedies September 1 2010, 04:41:21 UTC

I realize that. I just- I told you I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Tea before bed helps, sometimes.

[Voice // Private // Unhackable] innerfirewithin September 1 2010, 04:43:18 UTC

I do that anyway.

[Yuca's nightmares just add to his regular ones, that's all.]

[Voice // Private // Unhackable] neverquitedies September 1 2010, 04:47:11 UTC

Have I ever told you why I don't sleep?

[Silly boy, Yuca doesn't have nightmares.

He has memories.]

[Voice // Private // Unhackable] innerfirewithin September 1 2010, 04:49:32 UTC

No.

[Voice // Private // Unhackable] neverquitedies September 1 2010, 04:57:13 UTC

It's this world. This silly, drudging world.

[He tries to make it lighthearted.]

I lose myself. Who I am, what I am, what time I'm from, what world I'm in. I forget names, I remember too much, too many scenes, too many faces- I don't dream, I remember, and when I wake up, I don't know who I was when I fell asleep. I don't remember the face of the person next to me.

[A slight pause, as he considers this.]

And it's only going to get worse. Rain- I once slept in the sunlight next to him. [He speaks about Rain as if speaking of something sacred.] To sleep a dreamless sleep... I'm afraid of losing myself, Zuko. Afraid of losing the world.

[His grip on it is already so shaky.]

[Voice // Private // Unhackable] innerfirewithin September 1 2010, 05:04:47 UTC

The world isn't going anywhere, Yuca.

And I'm still here listening, aren't I?

[It's the closest Zuko will get to saying that Yuca is not on his permanent shit list anymore.]

[Voice // Private // Unhackable] neverquitedies September 1 2010, 05:09:42 UTC

[Oh hey, he has to stop and consider that for a moment.]

...perspectives. In mine, it's gone- completely erased from my memory while I try to put things back in order. The next time I fall asleep, I won't remember you for hours. Maybe even a few days. [He hums for a moment, before speaking, softly.]

The world you see before you, Zuko, is just that- it's your world. It's everything you perceive it to be. If I lose it, it's still there for you, but for me- all we have of places, of things, are our memories of them. I touched your shoulder back there, but can you ever prove that I did? If I lose that memory, did I ever touch your shoulder at all? If I forget you, do you even exist?

[His voice trembles slightly.]

[Voice // Private // Unhackable] innerfirewithin September 1 2010, 05:13:26 UTC

I exist because I know I exist.

[This is said fiercely.]

I've fought and clawed my way through everything in my life and I've worked hard for everything I have. I am the way I am today because I made it that way. You don't get to tell me I don't exist because you forget me and if everyone on this planet forgets me when I die, that doesn't change the fact that right here, right now, I am Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation and I exist.

[Motherfuckers.]

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