Thirtieth Rebirth [video]

Aug 31, 2010 15:25

[The camera flickers on and finds Yuca, once again, sitting peacefully in his garden, an arm wrapped around his knees. He's got cuts and bruises here and there from his fight with Merlin, but for the most part, he still looks pretty okay. The flowers are just starting to bloom, and his fingers barely brush against one, as if he isn't sure of the ( Read more... )

here comes the crazy train, ~retsu unohana, idkmybff rain, , ~finnian, ~jr/albedo, falling in love with flowers, ~ciel phantomhive, so out of it i don't even, ~kurotsuchi mayuri, ~sasuke uchiha, rain rain go away, ~merlin, ~zuko, post-event shenanigans, stop being nice to me, ~tyki mikk

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[Voice // Private // Unhackable] innerfirewithin August 31 2010, 23:34:23 UTC
[It takes a good twenty minutes before Zuko works up the nerve to even turn on his PCD's response function, let alone talk to the priest. The mental breakdown had been too much. Too much. And apparently, with Yuca talking to himself about Rain and flowers and death, it had been too much for him too.

A quiet inhale of breath before he speaks.]

Yuca.

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[Voice // Private // Unhackable] innerfirewithin September 1 2010, 00:15:52 UTC
[Of course Alphonse would. Of course he would endure the agony of Yuca's empathy to sit with the boy and endure his loneliness with him. Of course, of course. Idiot.]

Nothing makes it better.

[It's said rather dully, because what point was there in lying? Zuko understands, freakishly well, how painful that pounding ache is.]

But I bet it can be made bearable.

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[Voice // Private // Unhackable] neverquitedies September 1 2010, 00:25:01 UTC
[He gasps a little for breath, and it hurts. Everything hurts.]

He's- you don't understand what he is. [Yuca doesn't know how to explain it either.] He's trying for nothing. He's wasting his time and his precious little life. I'm not- I'm not some conflicted villain that can switch my entire way of thinking with one eloquent speech.

[He doesn't know what to do or what to say.]

...do you think I'm a monster? [Somewhere, deep down- the same place that spawned his idea about the angels- he hopes that Zuko can say yes.]

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[Voice // Private // Unhackable] innerfirewithin September 1 2010, 00:51:12 UTC
[He's quiet for another long moment as he wrestles with the question. He's known monsters, legitimately terrible people, people who don't deserve to be alive...]

No. I don't.

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[Voice // Private // Unhackable] neverquitedies September 1 2010, 03:14:06 UTC
I tried to do what everyone has been saying.

[His voice trembles.]

I tried to be optimistic, once. I tried- to love, to value people, I tried-

I just... [He swallows hard.] -you know how it turned out. How much feeling helped me.

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[Voice // Private // Unhackable] innerfirewithin September 1 2010, 03:16:46 UTC
That's why you're not a monster, Yuca.

[His voice is quiet.]

You're trying to make yourself be one because it's easier, but you're not.

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[Voice // Private // Unhackable] neverquitedies September 1 2010, 03:19:38 UTC
[A soft pause, and he lets out the smallest of chuckles. It's such a sad sound, it can barely be called that.]

I don't know what I'm doing anymore, Zuko. I'm tired of having to do anything.

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[Voice // Private // Unhackable] innerfirewithin September 1 2010, 03:25:34 UTC
[He's quiet for a long moment.]

My uncle... used to tell me that living is the hardest thing you can do, but sometimes, the only thing you can do is keep your head down and press forward.

I never followed his advice. [Tch.]

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[Voice // Private // Unhackable] neverquitedies September 1 2010, 03:29:55 UTC
Your uncle is a very kind man.

[He words this carefully.]

But he hasn't lived forever. Sometimes, the constant pressing forward and keeping your head down is enough to make you wish you were dead all the same.

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[Voice // Private // Unhackable] innerfirewithin September 1 2010, 03:33:36 UTC
Neither have you.

[A bit shortly. He hesitates before continuing.]

You need someone, Yuca.

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[Voice // Private // Unhackable] neverquitedies September 1 2010, 03:36:26 UTC
I had someone.

[The way he says it, you can hear pieces of his broken heart. No living creature has any right to sound so destroyed.]

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[Voice // Private // Unhackable] innerfirewithin September 1 2010, 03:39:46 UTC
Yuca. He's dead.

[A bit flatly and sharply.]

You have people here, now, who care about you just as much as Rain did and you're throwing it away because of a selfish need to have Rain back.

Get over it.

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[Voice // Private // Unhackable] 1/2 neverquitedies September 1 2010, 03:51:52 UTC
Oh?

[Oh no you did not.]

So you want me to take Alphonse and lay him out in an operating table, inject him with angel blood, chisel his ribs and remove a lobe in his lung to give him a second heart and an implant that regulates everything? [He almost hisses it.] You want me to find another friend and care for them and love them enough to curse them with- with this?

I'm throwing nothing away- you all are going to die, and I'm not going to be there to mourn you when it happens.

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[Voice // Private // Unhackable] 2/2 neverquitedies September 1 2010, 03:52:13 UTC
[Angry, angry, angry- and he takes a deep breath. And another. And curses to himself and runs a hand through his hair.]

....'msorry.

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[Voice // Private // Unhackable] innerfirewithin September 1 2010, 04:02:28 UTC
That only proves you're not a monster, idiot.

You won't do that to Alphonse because you care about him.

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[Voice // Private // Unhackable] neverquitedies September 1 2010, 04:04:10 UTC
What makes you think I didn't care about Rain?

[Defensively.]

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