Just Google It Part 5
Name : Just Google it part 5
Rating: R
Pairing : Morgan/Reid (sort of)
Summary : Reid’s perspective on the events of the previous few chapters.
Notes : Thank you so much for you support and comments. Sorry for the delay, I had some computer problems.
Beta : None and I apologize for that. My regular beta is not available right now and I just can’t find another one. I apologize for the mistakes - English is not my native language. Still I hope you enjoy the story, even with mistakes
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4
The things did not go as Spencer had planned them to go. Instead, they went much easier. He entered the club, mentally bracing himself for at least a couple of hours of drinking club sodas and pretending he was getting drunk. After all, it was the usual drill - he went in, ordered a non-alcoholic drink and patiently waited for someone to hit on him. Usually, it did not take long. Apparently, he did have a special effect on people, or as someone one put it -there was something very “hitable” about him.
So the problem was not in getting a potential lay - the problem was in getting the RIGHT one. He did have a type.
Maybe he had his eidetic memory to thank, but Spencer remembered the first time he did this like it was yesterday. It was just a few months after Gideon left. Tired of always being alone, still struggling with the addiction, he went out. And of course there was this little nagging thing in his mind - that thing was called unrequited love. Morgan was once again treating him like he was non-existent so there was no way he could have reciprocated his feelings.
Now that he thought about it, Spencer realized that he could have been a little too quick on deciding that he had no chance with Morgan. But what was done, was done. There was no going back.
So the first time he went to a bar, it was not even a gay bar. It was a regular, nothing-special-about-it bar. And he wasn’t even dressed half as “provocatively” as he was now. He just came in with his regular geeky clothes, sat at the bar and a few moments later, a guy was hitting on him. Just like that.
Up until that moment, all Reid knew about gay sex he knew from books. His feeling for Morgan aside, he never considered himself being homosexual. The truth was he never considered himself being sexual. Sure, he had some experience with girls, just enough not to be considered a virgin. But sex was just not a part of his life. Then again, neither were drugs, but somehow he found himself with a drug addiction which almost cost him his job and the respect of the people he cared about. Not to mention his health.
So that first night Spencer went out, he found himself walking the walk of shame the next morning. And if he cared enough to be ashamed, he would have probably crawled in bed and never went out again. But at this point of his existence he didn’t even care. Not about the fact that he let a random guy fuck him, nor about the bruises on his body from where the guy had hit him afterwards.
The truth was he had no idea why he decided to repeat that experience. He didn’t like that night. He actually was eager to forget that it ever happened. But his body wouldn’t let him. The pain he was a constant reminder of how far a body can be pushed before breaking.
Ever since that first time Spencer was trying to see how far he can push himself or how far he can be pushed. But he promised that he won’t make the same stupid mistakes he made the first time. He brought the men to his own place from now own, but was careful enough not to let them see where he lived. He never got into this thing intoxicated and he was always sure to have his gun around, just in case he needed it.
And of course, ever since the first night, he was the one choosing his partners. If the guy hitting on him was not his type, he quickly dismissed him. If he was his type - he still talked to him first. One of the best things about being a profiler was that Spencer was able to spot the “crazy” or aggressive ones just a few seconds into the conversation. Thus, he ensured his own safety.
Still, a few times he did get more than he bargained for and he had to wear long sleeves or scarves for a few weeks after that. But these were just inevitable consequences of an otherwise interesting and indulging experience.
That was until a few weeks ago.
By that time Morgan has stumbled upon his blog and confronted him about it, Reid had tried just about everything there was with a single partner. And it wasn’t working anymore. He felt ready to take the next step. In other words - be the hors d’oeuvre, the main course and the dessert in a gangbang.
Yet, just as he was feeling ready and confident enough to pull it off, Morgan had to crash back into his life. And it may be a bizarre statement, considering that Morgan had never left his life to begin with. They were working side by side for years. But it felt like he was never there.
Thus, the idea of Morgan reading his blog was terrifying and appealing at the same time. Reid was a smart guy and he knew what an effect his posts had on people. So the image of Morgan reading and jerking off in front of the computer was occupying Reid’s mind during his own long showers.
He sometimes wondered if he should have told Morgan the truth from the beginning. But it was a bad idea. It’s a one thing to fantasize about a random guy you don’t know about - you can worry and feel sorry for him. You can even have a crush on him and want to protect him from the bad things in the world. But it was a completely different thing to know that the person you are working with is even more of a freak than you’ve ever imagined. Knowing that your coworker is a sex addict with a disturbing love for pain was not a knowledge that most people could handle. And the fact that he videotaped and explicitly described his “experiments” didn’t really help to the general picture.
That’s why Spencer decided that he had to lie. He was far too gone. There was no going back.
Back in the present moment, Reid was driving his car with his latest conquest seated next to him. It was easy enough to convince the unsuspecting guy to get blindfolded. Spencer silently thanked Nature for his slim body and “angelic” looks as one of the previous guys had said. With that face and that body, Reid didn’t look like he can harm anyone so men usually trusted him and followed him blindfolded to his apartment.
The things some guys would do just to have sex, Spencer smiled bitterly at that thought. Some of the most gruesome and prolific cases they had happened for that exact same reason - the victims trusted the wrong people.
Of course Spencer was not about to kill or even harm the poor bastard. After all, Reid was the one who was going to get fucked in the most painful ways possible. Yet ultimately, Jeff, Jim or Jack (Spencer wasn’t really sure what the guy’s name was) was the one to be screwed in the end.
Whispering soothing and sexy promises in J’s ear (of the fact that the name started with a J Spencer was sure), Reid took off the blindfold and lead his guest into the apartment.
“Make yourself comfortable” Reid said as he went straight to the kitchen.
His friend was getting sober and he quickly needed to do something about it. He took out to glasses and filled one of them generously with rum, then splashed some coke in it too. The other one (his one) ended up being pure coke.
Reid was just about to follow his lover-to-be in the living room, when J joined him in the kitchen, looking rather offended.
“You know, Spencer, I don’t mind you blindfolding me, I don’t even mind you calling me some other guy’s name, but this - this is too much. I’m out of here!”
And just like that, before Reid could understand what was going on, J was out of the apartment.
Reid stood baffled for a few seconds, not sure what has just happened. He hid the cameras well enough so there was no chance that J had found them. So what was so freakish that it had scared the guy away?
Wondering about what had J seen; Reid carefully made his way into the living room. And sure enough, there was it - the reason for all of his troubles and worries.
Agent Derek Morgan, peacefully sleeping on his couch.
“Damn you, Morgan.” Reid whispered as he pulled a blanket over his friend’s body.
Suddenly Reid felt tired. He was in no mood or condition to ask Morgan about why he was there. He just sat on the ground, next to the couch, and watched Morgan sleep, silently grateful that his friend did not wake up to meet J.
Spencer wasn’t really sure when exactly did he fall asleep, sitting besides Morgan’s sleeping body.
In that state between sleep and consciousness, with his eyes closed, Morgan was dreaming. He was dreaming of voices that tell him things he did not understand and of hands, typing on a computer. He was dreaming of drugs and needles, chains and whips, pain and pleasure. Yet, all of a sudden one thought became very clear.
Notes : Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I really really appreciate it!
Rating: R
Pairing : Morgan/Reid (sort of)
Summary : Reid’s perspective on the events of the previous few chapters.
Notes : Thank you so much for you support and comments. Sorry for the delay, I had some computer problems.
Beta : None and I apologize for that. My regular beta is not available right now and I just can’t find another one. I apologize for the mistakes - English is not my native language. Still I hope you enjoy the story, even with mistakes
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4
The things did not go as Spencer had planned them to go. Instead, they went much easier. He entered the club, mentally bracing himself for at least a couple of hours of drinking club sodas and pretending he was getting drunk. After all, it was the usual drill - he went in, ordered a non-alcoholic drink and patiently waited for someone to hit on him. Usually, it did not take long. Apparently, he did have a special effect on people, or as someone one put it -there was something very “hitable” about him.
So the problem was not in getting a potential lay - the problem was in getting the RIGHT one. He did have a type.
Maybe he had his eidetic memory to thank, but Spencer remembered the first time he did this like it was yesterday. It was just a few months after Gideon left. Tired of always being alone, still struggling with the addiction, he went out. And of course there was this little nagging thing in his mind - that thing was called unrequited love. Morgan was once again treating him like he was non-existent so there was no way he could have reciprocated his feelings.
Now that he thought about it, Spencer realized that he could have been a little too quick on deciding that he had no chance with Morgan. But what was done, was done. There was no going back.
So the first time he went to a bar, it was not even a gay bar. It was a regular, nothing-special-about-it bar. And he wasn’t even dressed half as “provocatively” as he was now. He just came in with his regular geeky clothes, sat at the bar and a few moments later, a guy was hitting on him. Just like that.
Up until that moment, all Reid knew about gay sex he knew from books. His feeling for Morgan aside, he never considered himself being homosexual. The truth was he never considered himself being sexual. Sure, he had some experience with girls, just enough not to be considered a virgin. But sex was just not a part of his life. Then again, neither were drugs, but somehow he found himself with a drug addiction which almost cost him his job and the respect of the people he cared about. Not to mention his health.
So that first night Spencer went out, he found himself walking the walk of shame the next morning. And if he cared enough to be ashamed, he would have probably crawled in bed and never went out again. But at this point of his existence he didn’t even care. Not about the fact that he let a random guy fuck him, nor about the bruises on his body from where the guy had hit him afterwards.
The truth was he had no idea why he decided to repeat that experience. He didn’t like that night. He actually was eager to forget that it ever happened. But his body wouldn’t let him. The pain he was a constant reminder of how far a body can be pushed before breaking.
Ever since that first time Spencer was trying to see how far he can push himself or how far he can be pushed. But he promised that he won’t make the same stupid mistakes he made the first time. He brought the men to his own place from now own, but was careful enough not to let them see where he lived. He never got into this thing intoxicated and he was always sure to have his gun around, just in case he needed it.
And of course, ever since the first night, he was the one choosing his partners. If the guy hitting on him was not his type, he quickly dismissed him. If he was his type - he still talked to him first. One of the best things about being a profiler was that Spencer was able to spot the “crazy” or aggressive ones just a few seconds into the conversation. Thus, he ensured his own safety.
Still, a few times he did get more than he bargained for and he had to wear long sleeves or scarves for a few weeks after that. But these were just inevitable consequences of an otherwise interesting and indulging experience.
That was until a few weeks ago.
By that time Morgan has stumbled upon his blog and confronted him about it, Reid had tried just about everything there was with a single partner. And it wasn’t working anymore. He felt ready to take the next step. In other words - be the hors d’oeuvre, the main course and the dessert in a gangbang.
Yet, just as he was feeling ready and confident enough to pull it off, Morgan had to crash back into his life. And it may be a bizarre statement, considering that Morgan had never left his life to begin with. They were working side by side for years. But it felt like he was never there.
Thus, the idea of Morgan reading his blog was terrifying and appealing at the same time. Reid was a smart guy and he knew what an effect his posts had on people. So the image of Morgan reading and jerking off in front of the computer was occupying Reid’s mind during his own long showers.
He sometimes wondered if he should have told Morgan the truth from the beginning. But it was a bad idea. It’s a one thing to fantasize about a random guy you don’t know about - you can worry and feel sorry for him. You can even have a crush on him and want to protect him from the bad things in the world. But it was a completely different thing to know that the person you are working with is even more of a freak than you’ve ever imagined. Knowing that your coworker is a sex addict with a disturbing love for pain was not a knowledge that most people could handle. And the fact that he videotaped and explicitly described his “experiments” didn’t really help to the general picture.
That’s why Spencer decided that he had to lie. He was far too gone. There was no going back.
Back in the present moment, Reid was driving his car with his latest conquest seated next to him. It was easy enough to convince the unsuspecting guy to get blindfolded. Spencer silently thanked Nature for his slim body and “angelic” looks as one of the previous guys had said. With that face and that body, Reid didn’t look like he can harm anyone so men usually trusted him and followed him blindfolded to his apartment.
The things some guys would do just to have sex, Spencer smiled bitterly at that thought. Some of the most gruesome and prolific cases they had happened for that exact same reason - the victims trusted the wrong people.
Of course Spencer was not about to kill or even harm the poor bastard. After all, Reid was the one who was going to get fucked in the most painful ways possible. Yet ultimately, Jeff, Jim or Jack (Spencer wasn’t really sure what the guy’s name was) was the one to be screwed in the end.
Whispering soothing and sexy promises in J’s ear (of the fact that the name started with a J Spencer was sure), Reid took off the blindfold and lead his guest into the apartment.
“Make yourself comfortable” Reid said as he went straight to the kitchen.
His friend was getting sober and he quickly needed to do something about it. He took out to glasses and filled one of them generously with rum, then splashed some coke in it too. The other one (his one) ended up being pure coke.
Reid was just about to follow his lover-to-be in the living room, when J joined him in the kitchen, looking rather offended.
“You know, Spencer, I don’t mind you blindfolding me, I don’t even mind you calling me some other guy’s name, but this - this is too much. I’m out of here!”
And just like that, before Reid could understand what was going on, J was out of the apartment.
Reid stood baffled for a few seconds, not sure what has just happened. He hid the cameras well enough so there was no chance that J had found them. So what was so freakish that it had scared the guy away?
Wondering about what had J seen; Reid carefully made his way into the living room. And sure enough, there was it - the reason for all of his troubles and worries.
Agent Derek Morgan, peacefully sleeping on his couch.
“Damn you, Morgan.” Reid whispered as he pulled a blanket over his friend’s body.
Suddenly Reid felt tired. He was in no mood or condition to ask Morgan about why he was there. He just sat on the ground, next to the couch, and watched Morgan sleep, silently grateful that his friend did not wake up to meet J.
Spencer wasn’t really sure when exactly did he fall asleep, sitting besides Morgan’s sleeping body.
In that state between sleep and consciousness, with his eyes closed, Morgan was dreaming. He was dreaming of voices that tell him things he did not understand and of hands, typing on a computer. He was dreaming of drugs and needles, chains and whips, pain and pleasure. Yet, all of a sudden one thought became very clear.
Notes : Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I really really appreciate it!