Screencap Adventure: Illusion of Gaia Pt 5
Of course I beat the Mu boss as soon as I said I was having trouble with it. I don't know what else I expected of myself.
This episode is super-short, clocking in at about 280 screencaps, mainly because the Mu boss fight was VERY annoying and if I didn't stop where I did, I would have had to do about 500 more screecaps in this instalment. And really, screw THAT. I'll do another one as soon as I can to make up for it.
In our last episode of Illusion of Gaia, we met Will's long-lost cousin, the genius inventor Cid Neil, fought our way through a giant floating garden, defeated a large winged statue, saw a strange underwater vampire palace, and walked - under the water - to a mysterious new place called Mu! Let's get going.
Previous Editions
Ahh, Mu. You're right behind the Incan Ruins in hilarious statue faces.
First up, we have the same water smiles as in the Seaside Palace. They go down in two hits, can charge forward if you let them alone, and are otherwise utterly unremarkable. They're slimes, after all.
Of course, they're balanced out by GIGANTIC FRICKIN' ROCK MEN. The 'Rock Warriors' throw rocks out at a steady pace, have about 6 hits' worth of HP (so, about 35HP), and when they get really mad they'll steam a little (somehow) and throw rocks out in every direction. If these guys don't knock off most of your HP in your sojourn through Mu, then you're a better player than I.
Wait a second. Treasure chests underwater? Oh God...it's gonna be one of those dungeons.
Mu even comes equipped with New-Ability-Foreshadowing inaccessible cracks in the wall.
The last new enemy in Mu are the Ghosts. They teleport around, fire homing energy balls, and are very hard to hit unless you're ready to do some running around. They're weaker than the Rock Warriors, but it still takes 3 or 4 teleport-attacks to take them out.
Also, they remind me of something, but I don't know what. The Men In Black Capes from FFVII, perhaps?
Wha- oh, son of a bitch. Locke's been through here already, hasn't he?
Mu also sports these...energy...ring...things.
If you run into them, you get bounced violently backwards.
If you hit them, they move forward a little.
Retracting spikes? Yup, this is an RPG all right.
It's probably a sign I've been playing videogames for too long when my first thought is 'hope should really have a capital H on it'.
Nothing we can do here now though, so let's press on.
Oh yeah, and you can telekinesis the energy ring things about.
OH GODDAMNIT. SCREW YOU, LOCKE.
THERE'S a good picture of the HP Jewels. As you can see by my current HP, these come in REALLY handy.
I'm repeating myself, but I really do like Lilly. More RPG female leads should be like her.
Anyway, statue heads...
...where their vision crosses...
Ahah! It's a statue...an invisible statue...sitting on the ground. Wait, what?
Oh, my bad. An invisible statue left sitting on the ground that holds the hopes of its people somehow. Sorry.
"It's dangerous to go alone! Take this."
...okay. What was the point of that?
Hey, how about that? :D
I'LL GET YOU ONE DAY, TREASURE CHEST!
Wait a second. The dungeon is an entire CONTINENT?! That's it, I give up. Take me back to South Cape.
Oh yeah, these things. Not strictly enemies, but these lines of energy balls (or whatever they are) extend out at regular intervals. Apparently they work on heat-recognition or something, because they usually extend right out towards you. Your best bet is just to run past them.
A few more minute's worth of running and battling and we come to some spikes. Obviously, we have to hit the button to lower them, rather than, say, step over them. I mean, come on, it's an RPG.
Surely a Dark Friar can trigger the switch!
...Or not.
What you've gotta do here in actuality is hit the switch, RUN LIKE FUCK up and around and pass the spikes before they come up again. Simple, but ultimately useless.
Your secrets won't be safe from me much longer, Cracks-In-The-Wall!
The Psycho Slider is actually a really cool little move. Aside from the aforementioned sliding-into-cracks, it is actually the most damaging attack Will currently has. This thing does 11 DAMAGE right now. A regular hit only does about 6, if you're lucky.
LET'S DO IT WHEEEEHA
You guys have really got to play this game, if just to see the sliding animation. It is SO COOL oh my god.
Hmm. I think I need an energy ring thing.
Aha! You, sir, are coming with me.
Of course, this semi-hidden area leads to FOUR ROCK WARRIORS AND A HOMING BALL-LINE THING. This is that bloody Incan Ruin all over again.
Statue 1: ah-buhhhhhh
Statue 2: hurr-durrrrrr
GUESS WHAT WE GOTTA DO NOW, GUYS
Go down to the OTHER Room of Hope and put the statuette in, of course!
...Backtrack? Don't be silly.
This crack was just a shortcut. Always handy, but...eh. I was expecting secret treasures.
How in the frick do I keep catching Will when he's blinking? Clearly this is a skill I need to market. I hear the 'My Name is Earl' people are looking for photographers.
YOU ALREADY SAID THAT, GHOST GUYS
Anyway, all the water is gone now! We can go wherever we want!
See also: the only Red Jewel in Mu.
doo dee doo
I SMELL KEY ITEM
Well, it's golden, stupid-looking, and has no readily discernible use. I'd say this is a key item alright.
Oh, I see, it breaks a seal. Of course it does. I know my Super Mushroom plushie deflects Ice spells, so OBVIOUSLY this tiny statue breaks an ancient seal. Silly of me.
Well, this doorway looks unimportant.
hahahahahaha
Seriously, the stonemasons who made these statues must have just been CRACKING UP when they were chiselling them. Look at those expressions!
"Alright Mu, show me your secrets!"
"..."
"...Frick, I need to find another one, don't I?"
A statue which is, naturally, guarded by two violent Rock Warriors. Did this entire culture have a collective hard-on for statues or what?
You know what I like best about the Ghosts? The fact that they teleport up to the higher levels where you can't fucking hit them.
Checking in on Will's stats. Our boy is growing up! :D
OH SHI- TIME COMPRESSION
Wait, so...placing the statues on the pedestals fucked with space...so I could go to a burial ground?
That doesn't make any fucking sense
Of course, this is a game where long-dead kings speak through stone heads, so we take it all in stride.
"I can't see them!" :B
Oh frick, I've been killing innocent civilians that got transformed into monsters again, haven't I? D:
"Well guys, we've never been off the island, and we're not sure if there's even anything else OUT there, but fuck it! Pick a direction and we'll start digging! Knowing where we're going is for suckers!"
Halfway there! :D
Well, this doesn't look like a precursor to a boss fight at all.
"What th- Erik? What the hell are you doing there?"
Wha, you were...oh god. D: C'mon guys, slavery I could handle, but pedo vampires? That's just not cool.
Oh...oh. Well, that's better, I guess.
BOSS FIGHT
We have here the Wonder Twins of the vampire world, Jack and Silvana. (Yes, a vampire named Jack.) This is the most difficult boss we've faced so far. The two vampires teleport around the arena, firing off lasers down the corridors; Silvana only in one direction, Jack in all four. If you hit them a couple of times, they release four spinning balls of light that rotate around them as a sort of shield. You can still run in and hit them, but you'll get hurt.
They both have the maximum amount of HP (40), but Jack is slightly stronger, so let's get rid of him first.
Oh, and the bomb Erik is strapped to? It's on a countdown of 140 seconds. So we have just over two minutes to defeat two vampires or the whole place FUCKING EXPLODES.
Occasionally, Jack and Silvana will do their Wonder Twin thing and team up, firing a giant fuck-off ball of red energy at you. This thing does about 7HP worth of damage in one hit, so it's in your best interest to avoid it.
Several deaths later, I realise, "Wait a second. I can turn into a fucking Dark Knight! What the hell am I doing?"
I've cut it out for your benefit, but the amount of backtracking you have to do to get back to the ONE Dark Space where you can turn into Freedan (there are two in all of Mu) and get aaaaaall the way back is OBSCENE. There's only one way for Freedan to possibly get back, since he can't use Psycho Silder (though that would look hilarious), and even using a map this took me a good 20 minutes to get back. So keep in mind that while I'm fighting Jack and Silvana again I am vibrating with barely contained RAGE.
Heh.
Now that I'm doing 2 damage, (Will did ONE damage per hit against these guys. ONE, DEBBI-wait that's not my joke) Jack goes down a heck of a lot easier.
Also, geez, Silvana is ICE COLD.
Freedan killed Jack in 41 seconds. His personal best is 33 seconds, but he's got a bit of a cold at the moment.
Silvana is soon dead - no flashy death animation, no final words - and we go try to free Erik.
OH SHIT
SHIT SHIT SHIT WHAT DO I DO
WHAT DO I DO
AAAAAAAAGH *snip*
...phew. (It actually doesn't matter which wire you cut. Apparently Will has some magical Wire Cutting Sense.)
...You're a dandelion right now, Lilly. You don't have legs.
Awwww. It's alright, Lilly. I forgive you. :)
So, Erik thinks that Will was in disguise as Giant Badass Dark Knight? Okay, I'm thinking...extremely deluded? I mean, where would Will even hide a costume that large? Why wouldn't he use the sword all the time? Or does Erik think this is a Superman thing? I guess it doesn't matter, but still.
Oh hey, look who it is!
"Oh, I'm okay WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU WHEN I WAS FIGHTING ALL THOSE FUCKING MONSTERS, HUH?!"
Notice how Kara turned away just as Lilly said that? I thought we were done with this rivalry thing, guys!
"Big guy, made of stone. Had kind of a silly expression."
"I'm thinking this was a bad idea."
...We do metric measurements down here in Australia. How far is this in metres? Because I'm thinking it's probably physically impossible to walk that far in a day unless you're running pretty fast.
"How dare a tunnel underneath an ocean be so long!"
Hahah, oh wow. Lance, when the Pink Rinoa is telling you to stop whining, you know you're being a dick.
And everyone wanders off to their respective corners.
Lance? Buddy? IT'S UNDERNEATH A FUCKING OCEAN.
The truest thing ever uttered in a videogame. :D
Awwwww, Kara. I almost care.
Hahahah. WHATCHA DOIN' THERE, ERIK? LOOKING AT THE WATER?
I question how they can bake and boil mushrooms when they're underground with no firewood or cooking equipment.
Uh-oh. I sense romantic scene.
You're supposed to pause before you say 'just kidding', Will. You gotta work on your comic timing more.
"Since when could you turn into a gigantic knight with long, flowing blonde hair? And why don't you keep the sword?"
Hmmm.
I really like Will's realistic reaction to all these powers. Like any kid who could suddenly move things with his mind and transform into a huge immortal knight, he's terrified and confused. He doesn't have that immediate instinctive acceptance and knowledge of his powers; he's learning about them as slowly as we are.
sex
woggida woggida woggida
wiggida wiggida woo
RUN AWAY
"And knowing more is half the battle! GI Joe!"
tip tip tap tippa tap
I think the translators may have blanked out there for a second, unless Lilly actually says "Neil continues".
"...somehow."
"Not a river. He says it really pisses him off when people say that, so he eats them. I guess I shouldn't have said it."
"Being that it lives in the ocean, I assume it's not."
"...somehow."
breast implants
Er...how? We already knew all of that, and I doubt the Riverson stuff is relevant at all.
Hahahah. ICE BURN TO HUMANITY.
"Welp, your friend's been turned into a horrible evil abomination of nature. Let's head out!" :D
Nice priorities there, Lance. You don't care about sunlight, or fresh food, or anything like that. It's all HOLY SHIT A SIGN for you.
"Shouldn't they be in the Sky Garden or something?"
Uh-oh. Will just got the 'threesome' idea.
MAKE UP YOUR MIND
Will climbs down the ladder into the rest room and takes a well-earned reprieve...
And we're stopping right there! Sorry that this edition is so short, but the next bit is pretty long and I don't want to break it up. Next time, we'll see angels!
Oh wow, my dad just came home with a TV. I'm gonna have to go check this out. Awaaaay!
EDIT: I passed a car on the way to help my mum with her job last night. It's licence plate read '50-GEM'. I THINK SOMEONE IS TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING, GUYS
~ Aaron
This episode is super-short, clocking in at about 280 screencaps, mainly because the Mu boss fight was VERY annoying and if I didn't stop where I did, I would have had to do about 500 more screecaps in this instalment. And really, screw THAT. I'll do another one as soon as I can to make up for it.
In our last episode of Illusion of Gaia, we met Will's long-lost cousin, the genius inventor Cid Neil, fought our way through a giant floating garden, defeated a large winged statue, saw a strange underwater vampire palace, and walked - under the water - to a mysterious new place called Mu! Let's get going.
Previous Editions
Ahh, Mu. You're right behind the Incan Ruins in hilarious statue faces.
First up, we have the same water smiles as in the Seaside Palace. They go down in two hits, can charge forward if you let them alone, and are otherwise utterly unremarkable. They're slimes, after all.
Of course, they're balanced out by GIGANTIC FRICKIN' ROCK MEN. The 'Rock Warriors' throw rocks out at a steady pace, have about 6 hits' worth of HP (so, about 35HP), and when they get really mad they'll steam a little (somehow) and throw rocks out in every direction. If these guys don't knock off most of your HP in your sojourn through Mu, then you're a better player than I.
Wait a second. Treasure chests underwater? Oh God...it's gonna be one of those dungeons.
Mu even comes equipped with New-Ability-Foreshadowing inaccessible cracks in the wall.
The last new enemy in Mu are the Ghosts. They teleport around, fire homing energy balls, and are very hard to hit unless you're ready to do some running around. They're weaker than the Rock Warriors, but it still takes 3 or 4 teleport-attacks to take them out.
Also, they remind me of something, but I don't know what. The Men In Black Capes from FFVII, perhaps?
Wha- oh, son of a bitch. Locke's been through here already, hasn't he?
Mu also sports these...energy...ring...things.
If you run into them, you get bounced violently backwards.
If you hit them, they move forward a little.
Retracting spikes? Yup, this is an RPG all right.
It's probably a sign I've been playing videogames for too long when my first thought is 'hope should really have a capital H on it'.
Nothing we can do here now though, so let's press on.
Oh yeah, and you can telekinesis the energy ring things about.
OH GODDAMNIT. SCREW YOU, LOCKE.
THERE'S a good picture of the HP Jewels. As you can see by my current HP, these come in REALLY handy.
I'm repeating myself, but I really do like Lilly. More RPG female leads should be like her.
Anyway, statue heads...
...where their vision crosses...
Ahah! It's a statue...an invisible statue...sitting on the ground. Wait, what?
Oh, my bad. An invisible statue left sitting on the ground that holds the hopes of its people somehow. Sorry.
"It's dangerous to go alone! Take this."
...okay. What was the point of that?
Hey, how about that? :D
I'LL GET YOU ONE DAY, TREASURE CHEST!
Wait a second. The dungeon is an entire CONTINENT?! That's it, I give up. Take me back to South Cape.
Oh yeah, these things. Not strictly enemies, but these lines of energy balls (or whatever they are) extend out at regular intervals. Apparently they work on heat-recognition or something, because they usually extend right out towards you. Your best bet is just to run past them.
A few more minute's worth of running and battling and we come to some spikes. Obviously, we have to hit the button to lower them, rather than, say, step over them. I mean, come on, it's an RPG.
Surely a Dark Friar can trigger the switch!
...Or not.
What you've gotta do here in actuality is hit the switch, RUN LIKE FUCK up and around and pass the spikes before they come up again. Simple, but ultimately useless.
Your secrets won't be safe from me much longer, Cracks-In-The-Wall!
The Psycho Slider is actually a really cool little move. Aside from the aforementioned sliding-into-cracks, it is actually the most damaging attack Will currently has. This thing does 11 DAMAGE right now. A regular hit only does about 6, if you're lucky.
LET'S DO IT WHEEEEHA
You guys have really got to play this game, if just to see the sliding animation. It is SO COOL oh my god.
Hmm. I think I need an energy ring thing.
Aha! You, sir, are coming with me.
Of course, this semi-hidden area leads to FOUR ROCK WARRIORS AND A HOMING BALL-LINE THING. This is that bloody Incan Ruin all over again.
Statue 1: ah-buhhhhhh
Statue 2: hurr-durrrrrr
GUESS WHAT WE GOTTA DO NOW, GUYS
Go down to the OTHER Room of Hope and put the statuette in, of course!
...Backtrack? Don't be silly.
This crack was just a shortcut. Always handy, but...eh. I was expecting secret treasures.
How in the frick do I keep catching Will when he's blinking? Clearly this is a skill I need to market. I hear the 'My Name is Earl' people are looking for photographers.
YOU ALREADY SAID THAT, GHOST GUYS
Anyway, all the water is gone now! We can go wherever we want!
See also: the only Red Jewel in Mu.
doo dee doo
I SMELL KEY ITEM
Well, it's golden, stupid-looking, and has no readily discernible use. I'd say this is a key item alright.
Oh, I see, it breaks a seal. Of course it does. I know my Super Mushroom plushie deflects Ice spells, so OBVIOUSLY this tiny statue breaks an ancient seal. Silly of me.
Well, this doorway looks unimportant.
hahahahahaha
Seriously, the stonemasons who made these statues must have just been CRACKING UP when they were chiselling them. Look at those expressions!
"Alright Mu, show me your secrets!"
"..."
"...Frick, I need to find another one, don't I?"
A statue which is, naturally, guarded by two violent Rock Warriors. Did this entire culture have a collective hard-on for statues or what?
You know what I like best about the Ghosts? The fact that they teleport up to the higher levels where you can't fucking hit them.
Checking in on Will's stats. Our boy is growing up! :D
OH SHI- TIME COMPRESSION
Wait, so...placing the statues on the pedestals fucked with space...so I could go to a burial ground?
That doesn't make any fucking sense
Of course, this is a game where long-dead kings speak through stone heads, so we take it all in stride.
"I can't see them!" :B
Oh frick, I've been killing innocent civilians that got transformed into monsters again, haven't I? D:
"Well guys, we've never been off the island, and we're not sure if there's even anything else OUT there, but fuck it! Pick a direction and we'll start digging! Knowing where we're going is for suckers!"
Halfway there! :D
Well, this doesn't look like a precursor to a boss fight at all.
"What th- Erik? What the hell are you doing there?"
Wha, you were...oh god. D: C'mon guys, slavery I could handle, but pedo vampires? That's just not cool.
Oh...oh. Well, that's better, I guess.
BOSS FIGHT
We have here the Wonder Twins of the vampire world, Jack and Silvana. (Yes, a vampire named Jack.) This is the most difficult boss we've faced so far. The two vampires teleport around the arena, firing off lasers down the corridors; Silvana only in one direction, Jack in all four. If you hit them a couple of times, they release four spinning balls of light that rotate around them as a sort of shield. You can still run in and hit them, but you'll get hurt.
They both have the maximum amount of HP (40), but Jack is slightly stronger, so let's get rid of him first.
Oh, and the bomb Erik is strapped to? It's on a countdown of 140 seconds. So we have just over two minutes to defeat two vampires or the whole place FUCKING EXPLODES.
Occasionally, Jack and Silvana will do their Wonder Twin thing and team up, firing a giant fuck-off ball of red energy at you. This thing does about 7HP worth of damage in one hit, so it's in your best interest to avoid it.
Several deaths later, I realise, "Wait a second. I can turn into a fucking Dark Knight! What the hell am I doing?"
I've cut it out for your benefit, but the amount of backtracking you have to do to get back to the ONE Dark Space where you can turn into Freedan (there are two in all of Mu) and get aaaaaall the way back is OBSCENE. There's only one way for Freedan to possibly get back, since he can't use Psycho Silder (though that would look hilarious), and even using a map this took me a good 20 minutes to get back. So keep in mind that while I'm fighting Jack and Silvana again I am vibrating with barely contained RAGE.
Heh.
Now that I'm doing 2 damage, (Will did ONE damage per hit against these guys. ONE, DEBBI-wait that's not my joke) Jack goes down a heck of a lot easier.
Also, geez, Silvana is ICE COLD.
Freedan killed Jack in 41 seconds. His personal best is 33 seconds, but he's got a bit of a cold at the moment.
Silvana is soon dead - no flashy death animation, no final words - and we go try to free Erik.
OH SHIT
SHIT SHIT SHIT WHAT DO I DO
WHAT DO I DO
AAAAAAAAGH *snip*
...phew. (It actually doesn't matter which wire you cut. Apparently Will has some magical Wire Cutting Sense.)
...You're a dandelion right now, Lilly. You don't have legs.
Awwww. It's alright, Lilly. I forgive you. :)
So, Erik thinks that Will was in disguise as Giant Badass Dark Knight? Okay, I'm thinking...extremely deluded? I mean, where would Will even hide a costume that large? Why wouldn't he use the sword all the time? Or does Erik think this is a Superman thing? I guess it doesn't matter, but still.
Oh hey, look who it is!
"Oh, I'm okay WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU WHEN I WAS FIGHTING ALL THOSE FUCKING MONSTERS, HUH?!"
Notice how Kara turned away just as Lilly said that? I thought we were done with this rivalry thing, guys!
"Big guy, made of stone. Had kind of a silly expression."
"I'm thinking this was a bad idea."
...We do metric measurements down here in Australia. How far is this in metres? Because I'm thinking it's probably physically impossible to walk that far in a day unless you're running pretty fast.
"How dare a tunnel underneath an ocean be so long!"
Hahah, oh wow. Lance, when the Pink Rinoa is telling you to stop whining, you know you're being a dick.
And everyone wanders off to their respective corners.
Lance? Buddy? IT'S UNDERNEATH A FUCKING OCEAN.
The truest thing ever uttered in a videogame. :D
Awwwww, Kara. I almost care.
Hahahah. WHATCHA DOIN' THERE, ERIK? LOOKING AT THE WATER?
I question how they can bake and boil mushrooms when they're underground with no firewood or cooking equipment.
Uh-oh. I sense romantic scene.
You're supposed to pause before you say 'just kidding', Will. You gotta work on your comic timing more.
"Since when could you turn into a gigantic knight with long, flowing blonde hair? And why don't you keep the sword?"
Hmmm.
I really like Will's realistic reaction to all these powers. Like any kid who could suddenly move things with his mind and transform into a huge immortal knight, he's terrified and confused. He doesn't have that immediate instinctive acceptance and knowledge of his powers; he's learning about them as slowly as we are.
sex
woggida woggida woggida
wiggida wiggida woo
RUN AWAY
"And knowing more is half the battle! GI Joe!"
tip tip tap tippa tap
I think the translators may have blanked out there for a second, unless Lilly actually says "Neil continues".
"...somehow."
"Not a river. He says it really pisses him off when people say that, so he eats them. I guess I shouldn't have said it."
"Being that it lives in the ocean, I assume it's not."
"...somehow."
breast implants
Er...how? We already knew all of that, and I doubt the Riverson stuff is relevant at all.
Hahahah. ICE BURN TO HUMANITY.
"Welp, your friend's been turned into a horrible evil abomination of nature. Let's head out!" :D
Nice priorities there, Lance. You don't care about sunlight, or fresh food, or anything like that. It's all HOLY SHIT A SIGN for you.
"Shouldn't they be in the Sky Garden or something?"
Uh-oh. Will just got the 'threesome' idea.
MAKE UP YOUR MIND
Will climbs down the ladder into the rest room and takes a well-earned reprieve...
And we're stopping right there! Sorry that this edition is so short, but the next bit is pretty long and I don't want to break it up. Next time, we'll see angels!
Oh wow, my dad just came home with a TV. I'm gonna have to go check this out. Awaaaay!
EDIT: I passed a car on the way to help my mum with her job last night. It's licence plate read '50-GEM'. I THINK SOMEONE IS TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING, GUYS
~ Aaron