I try to tell myself that the only reason I cry so much now is because I'm pregnant. But I'm really beginning to wonder if it's the baby, or the baby's dad. I seriously don't think I can stay with him much longer...unless things change. I don't see how they ever will. He just keeps on getting meaner and meaner. Living in this house is becoming more ( Read more... )

There's too much going on right now. I can't even think straight anymore. As you who read this know, my cousin died of a heroin overdose and it's hitting me hard. When I got the phone call, I was hoping that it was a car accident or something, but no. I knew it. You know, he always blamed me for him smoking. And now I blame myself for him using. I ( Read more... )

Today is Friday, December 23, 2005, right? That would mean that Christmas is only two days away...and for those of you who don't know, I would have had all of my Christmas shopping done, but when Dan and I went to go to the mall on Tuesday night, we were in a pretty bad car accident. That put a little damper in our day and now we have everyone done ( Read more... )

Are my eyes swollen shut to everything around me? I have to wonder what it is that makes people happy. I think about it all the time and that's probably what's driving me crazy! You know how you always hear that money can't but happiness? Well, I think that's a big fat lie! If I had $1,000,000.00 I would be able to pay for my meds, my probation, my ( Read more... )

So I'm sitting here two days ago and I'm restless. I know I want to do something, but I don't know what it is. So I start to type. I typed for twenty minutes and just as I went to update, my computer froze. A sign from God? Or a slow computer? I don't know. Some of the things I said were selfish; no need to be seen by other eyes. But let me say ( Read more... )

So I'm sitting in my basement watching All My Children and eating bon bons (not really...I just like saying bon bons) and I decided to call my cousin except she didnt answer, so I had to leave her a message, only i couldnt remember my phone number, so I decided that, as a result...I need professional help! Agreed? I thought so ( Read more... )

this is erica and since vanessa never updates i thought id update for her... i wonder if she will notice

So much to do, so little time. I love being at home, but I need to go back to where I need to be...hopefully it wont take too long...Love ya fam...all of you(even though we don't always get along)

So, Monday is coming up pretty damn quickly and in the mean-time, I'm trying to make the best out of the little time that I have left, right? So last night, Danny, Me, Dustin, Brynne, Matt, and Erica were all hanging out, and of course I was drinking, and one thing led to another, and I ended up having sex with Danny (after an un-beatable round of ( Read more... )

It's the first of the month! I talked to my probation officer yesterday and my drug test came back clean! hu-rah! I have court on Monday, which sucks really bid balls:( I got to spend the weekend at my new boyfriends house in Aurora (totally hot) I spent time with my cousin and my sister! I missed out on time with my bestest cousin because she had ( Read more... )