NEW VM FIC - Never Be the Same Again (1/?)
Banner by me (nemo_88)
Title: Edit: Now titled Never Be the Same Again Part 1/?
Author: nemo_88 but you can call me Nemo
Pairing/Character: Logan/Veronica, Lilly (mentions of Lilly/Logan, Lilly/Weevil and well, Lilly/Aaron)
Word Count: 2667 (this part)
Rating: PG-13/R? not god on ratings...
Summary: AU season 1/pre-pilot. Lilly doesn't die, instead Logan finds out she slept with Aaron and life as we know it in Neptune is turned upside down.
Spoilers/Warnings: You need to have seen all of season one. Otherwise it won't make much sense. Pretty dark fic.
Author's Note:
This is a sneak peek of my new still untitled VM story, the first chapter. I'm not going to start posting it seriously before I have most of it wrtten, but some of you were curious...
A huge thank you to evie_0 for listening to my non-stop rambling about this fic and spoiling me with feedback. To the amazing douladiva for offering to beta and kicking ass at it, and of course luxferi had a finger in this too, becasue she rocks my socks (and shoes :P) *hugs all of you*
Italics are flashbacks, btw. :)
Prologue
She believes she’s supposed to divide her life in before and after. Before Lilly and after Lilly. So she does. Not because it’s easier - nothing makes it easier - but maybe just to get everything clearer in her head. To be able to compare it. Now and Then.
She remembers the day her life came crashing down. The day the downward spiral started. She’s not sure if it has stopped yet.
It was the beginning of October, and her dad was driving her home after she had washed cars with the pep squad. It was one of those stupid ways to earn money. The guys paid them to wash in their cute little uniforms, while watching, and Lilly had taken full advantage of that. Veronica remembers accusing her of spilling water on her white shirt on purpose and saying it wasn’t a wet t-shirt contest. Lilly had only winked in response.
Her dad had still been sheriff then, and a call had come in on the radio while they were driving home. A car was needed at the Echolls’ estate. Veronica had grown cold at the sound of the name, but reminded herself Logan was in Tijuana for the weekend.
But when they got closer and she could hear the sound of raised voices even from the driveway, and Logan was running out of the house with blood running down his temple, Veronica could practically hear the brakes as her world screeched to a halt.
* * *
Part One
The first thing she sees as she enters the school is the letters on the yellow, metal surface. They stand out, practically screaming at her and anyone who walks by - which would be the entire school - and Veronica is sure that is their purpose.
She drops her bag to the floor with a sigh and opens her locker. She’s not sure if it’s a good or a bad thing she keeps a spray bottle of Mr. Muscle’s Multi Surface Cleaner among her books these days. She decides it’s good. Today it is.
Pulling a napkin out of her messenger bag, she starts to scrub. The words don’t mean anything to her nowadays. They’re letters in random patterns and she barely reads them. Still, she scrubs, because Lilly is coming soon and she would probably squeal in glee. Harsh words about the two of them seem to feed her with pride these days. Veronica is not sure if she actually means it, because no one would mean it. Right? No one could find any of this amusing. Deep down she thinks it’s a false cover her best friend has put up, much like her own icy, sometimes bitter one. They are both hiding, both exposed.
It should have made them stronger. United. It should have made them understand each other better, but somehow it only tears them further apart. Veronica can’t even remember the last time she had a semi-serious conversation with the girl she calls her best friend.
* * *
Logan doesn’t hear the words coming out of his mother’s mouth; something about ’a goddamn child’ and how ‘she doesn’t care about the others but she will not let him-’. She’s muted. Logan only hears the loud smack as his father’s hand connects with her cheek. Again, he backhands her, but she keeps spitting out the silent words.
Logan runs from where he’s standing on the stairs, but it feels like an ocean between them, the air is thick like water and the masses heavy as he pushes through them. He can’t remember the last time he saw his mother this upset, and her intensity prides him, yet at the same time he fears for her, for what he will do.
His mother turns to walk out the open front door, but Logan watches in slow motion how Aaron catches her arm with his hand and then grabs the ash tray from the small table underneath the hallway mirror and raises the solid marble.
Logan’s screaming as he rushes to them, aiming for his father and just when he think he’s too late, when he imagines what the thump would sound like, he pummels right into his father, making him drop the deadly tray.
Within two seconds Aaron’s fist has connected with his face and his mother runs out to lock herself in her Bentley.
* * *
They’re sitting behind the school. Smoking. Clichés of all clichés. Guess she’s really a bad girl now.
Veronica knows the name of maybe half of them. She’s only there because of Lilly. Because she doesn’t want to go to History alone. It’s one thing facing them with her best friend at her side, it’s another taking their bullshit on her own.
She doesn’t know these people. But she knows she’s associated with them these days. The outcasts. Not the in-crowd, but the out-crowd. PCH’ers. Talk about doing an u-turn. They demand a whole different type of respect.
Weevil is sitting casually on the table and Lilly is on the bench below, between his legs. Of these people, Weevil is the one Veronica likes the best. The way he looks at Lilly, with unmistakable possessiveness, like he genuinely cares. He reminds her of Logan, before.
* * *
“Stay in the car, Veronica!” Her father orders her before he hurries up to the house, gun at his side, but her hand is already at the door handle.
She means to do as he tells her but when Logan rushes past the car where she’s sitting she just can’t. He’s hurt, upset and she doesn’t know why, but he’s her friend and she has to find out.
“Logan!” she shouts as she gets out of the car and runs after him. “Logan, what happened?”
She catches up with him on the street and he stops but doesn’t answer her.
“Fucking- That fucking-I’m gonna kill him, I’m gonna fucking kill him-”
Veronica hears him talking to himself, the words are a flowing mess coming out of his mouth and Veronica doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
He’s upset; shocked, angry. He’s walking back and forth in the street, not in circles but irregular patterns, very much like Logan. All hard edges and sharp angles, but with a good heart that is right now spilling out, leaking onto the pavement. Shattered into a million pieces.
“What happened?” she asks again.
“Bitch,“ he curses. “Fuck you, Lilly, fuck you. How could you-”
He drags a hand through his hair almost pulling it out in the process and now she notices the tears running down his cheeks.
“What about Lilly?” Veronica asks weakly. She’s really worried now. Lilly and Logan have been broken up for a week, tops, and he was upset when she dumped him (again), but nowhere near like this.
“Has something happened to Lilly?” she asks. “Did something happen to you?”
She dares herself to walk closer, up to him, to reach his face. A black eye is forming on his left and there’s an ugly cut on his eyebrow.
He turns as she comes nearer, slaps her hand away when she tries to touch him and it hurts.
“Get away from me, Veronica.” His voice is cold when he finally meets her eyes.
“Logan…”
“Get the fuck away from here.”
She takes a step back, hears her father shouting for her. He’s back at the car now and she gives Logan one last look before turning around and running back.
* * *
“Ladies, hold up. What’s the hurry?”
They both turn around. Logan comes strolling down the school corridor with a smug look on his face. A couple of 09’ers are behind him, ready to watch the spectacle unfold.
“Logan,” Lilly says mockingly, “have you come back to beg? Again? Please, stop embarrassing yourself.“
“Hmm. Funny. Actually, I was going to ask you girls for some advice.”
“Really? Why don’t you go ask your father? I’m sure he could give you some tips on how to get it right.”
Veronica watches as Logan’s jaw tightens, but he doesn’t let anything else show. She stays quiet beside her friend, tired of the mean words and accusations but not sure how to make any of it right again.
“Dick’s birthday is coming up. I was thinking you could give me some help on finding the right entertainment for the party. As working girls, I mean. A girl in the cake, it’s getting old, you know?”
Lilly lets out a mock gasp, “Logan, are you calling me a stripper?”
“Did I get that wrong?” Logan asks, pretending to be confused. “Right, now I got it, groupie whore would be more appropriate.”
“Lilly, let’s go,” Veronica says, tugging on her friend’s elbow.
“What do you say, Veronica? You too wanna go a round with dear old pops? He has this strange thing for blondes. He takes whatever trash he can get.”
“Like your mom?” Lilly adds and follows Veronica down the hall.
“My mom’s not blonde!” Logan laughs as he watches them go.
* * *
In the morning she runs to her father’s workplace. The night before he let Sachs drive her home, didn’t tell her a single word about what had happened and, when she woke up this morning, her dad was already gone.
When she comes into the sheriff’s department, Inga’s at the information desk.
“Veronica!” she exclaims nervously.
Veronica doesn’t have to be the Sheriff’s daughter to understand that Inga’s hiding something. The woman starts to explain what a ‘busy, busy man’ Keith is and tells her to go home and help her mother (with what Veronica’s not sure).
She stays. She has tried calling both Lilly and Logan and neither have picked up. She wants answers. All this not knowing is driving her crazy.
When she sits down in one of the chairs placed against the wall, and absentmindedly glances at one of the gossip magazines meant for reading while you wait (just like at the dentist’s, she muses), she gets the answers she was looking for. The large headline revels in the horror of it all and the picture - Lilly! - is printed over the whole cover. Over all, it’s nauseating.
Mr. Echolls?
“Oh, Lilly,” Veronica whispers to herself.
* * *
“Have you seen Lilly?”
“She bailed on you again?”
“Yeah,” Veronica answers, a little bit embarrassed.
“Um, I think I saw her with Ben in the parking lot,” Meg says, pulling her Biology books out of her locker.
“Thanks,” Veronica smiles. “Wait. Who’s Ben?”
“Senior. Tall. Dark-”
“Handsome?”
“Well… Yeah. He’s on the basketball team, if that helps.”
“Yeah, thanks Meg.”
Outside the school, Veronica scans the empty parking lot. She’s just about to turn around when she hears a loud giggle coming from a black SUV.
She goes closer, but immediately turns around when she sees Lilly stumble out of the backseat, half dressed, clothes and hair in disorder, bottle of vodka in her hand. All the while giggling obnoxiously.
It’s 12.15 pm and Lilly is drunk. What a surprise.
The guy in the car - Ben she assumes - tries to reach her, (“come back, baby”) but Lilly has her eyes on Veronica, and squeals her name.
Veronica smiles half-heartedly when her friend throws her arms around her neck and hugs her tightly.
“You are my best friend,” Lilly says, slurring as she points at her with the liquor bottle.
“And you are drunk, and I had to explain to Mr. Roberts why we couldn‘t present our English project today.”
“Veronica,” Lilly says, like she’s just about to tell her something really important, “why do you insist on doing these pointless things?”
“And why do you insist on going to school when you don’t enter the building?”
Lilly tilts her head, motioning to Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome with his pants down in the backseat of the SUV.
Veronica sighs. “We’ll talk about this when you’re sober.”
* * *
Her knocks sound like cannon shots to her ears, but she’s nervous and god, she needs to speak to Lilly. The reporters are already buzzing like flies around the Kane estate, and Veronica’s just happy she was able to get in behind the gates.
It’s Duncan who opens the door. He’s unusually pale, and with his face cold he looks close to a statue.
“Is Lilly here?” Veronica asks and ignores the fact that she hasn’t spoken to this boy since he dumped her. And since he did that without telling her, she can’t even recall what their last conversation was.
“You should leave.”
“Duncan, I need to see Lilly.”
He stands quiet, rooted to the spot, and when Veronica realizes he’s not going to do anything else, she pushes past him and runs up the stairs. She vaguely hears how Celeste and Jake are arguing in the kitchen as she goes.
Even if she didn’t know which door is Lilly’s, she would have, the blaring music would give it away. This time her knock is softer.
“Lilly? It’s me, open up.”
The volume of the music is turned down and the door opens slowly to reveal a Lilly wearing her PJ’s.
“Hey,” Veronica says hesitantly.
“Hey, girlfriend.”
Lilly opens the door wider and lets her in.
The girl’s room looks just like it always has and the memories that spring to life when Veronica enters saddens her. It’s memories of good times, but when she looks at her friend now she seems so far from that, so very lost.
“I guess the big secret is out now.”
Veronica frowns. It takes a moment before she understands. [I’ve got a secret. A good one.] The carwash. Lilly’s promise of something good, something thrilling.
“This was your secret? What they‘re saying is true?” Veronica thinks out loud.
“Yeah?” Lilly says in her typical ’duh’ manner.
“Lilly, I don’t… how could you-?”
“What?” Lilly interrupts her defensively, when she hears the pity in her friend’s voice. “Fuck Mr. Echolls?”
Veronica winces at the choice of words but replies quietly, “Yeah.”
“Come on, V, he’s hot.”
“How can you say that? He’s Logan’s father!”
“He’s a movie star! You must have thought about it-”
“No! No.”
Lilly scoffs. There’s a moment of silence when they’re both still, both not looking at each other. Finally Lilly picks up her hairbrush and starts to brush her hair impatiently, nervously.
“How could you do this to Logan?” Veronica asks seriously and looks up at her friend.
“Logan’s not my boyfriend anymore. I can sleep with whoever I want.”
“You wanted to- cause Lilly if he-”
“Course, I wanted!” She scoffs.
“I still don’t understand.”
“Well, let me explain it to you, then. He wanted sex, I wanted sex - we had sex. End of story. You know, he could have filled me in on the whole making our sexcapades into his own little porn stash, but whatever, he’ll pay for it now.“
“You didn’t know about the cameras?”
“Hey, I’m kinky, not a perv,” Lilly says. She studies her friend for a second before continuing.
“Men aren‘t angels sent down from heaven to kiss your feet, you know. They‘re animals only wanting to get inside your pants. That‘s the truth, everything else is just lies.”
Veronica looks at her friend, not really sure why Lilly’s telling her this. She changes the subject.
“I saw Logan.” Lilly sends her a quick glance. Guilty. “He’s really hurt. I can’t believe you did this to him.”
“I don’t have to answer to Logan, or you, or anybody, okay?” Lilly exclaims. But her voice cracks and Veronica knows Lilly’s affected by her words. She sounds strangely similar to a spoiled child and for the first time in her life Veronica feels like she’s the adult. Like she’s the older one.
“I don’t know if he’ll forgive you,” she says.
“I don’t need his forgiveness,” Lilly answers, stubborn, like she always has been.