Fourth Avenue Café - Chapter 17
Title: Fourth Avenue Café
Pairings: Akame, slight Ryopi
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Jin's a successful artist when a fight with his friends forces him to seek stress relief in a little café where he meets what he considers, the strangest people.
Chapter 1// Chapter 2// Chapter 3// Chapter 4// Chapter 5// Chapter 6// Chapter 7// Chapter 8// Chapter 9// Chapter 10// Chapter 11// Chapter 12// Chapter 13// Chapter 14// Chapter 15// Chapter 16
Chapter 17:
After the tumor reached his brain stem, Jin skipped a week of work to stay by his side. Unable to say anything, the waiter would just lay there with a complacent look on his face, while he sat there, singing to him with his shaky voice.
It was all he could do.
No tears fell from the waiter’s eyes as the days went by.
-------------------------
One day, he was eating lunch with his friends before his visit to the hospital; he sat there and picked at his food. His appetite had been diminishing as of lately, and it caused Pi to look over with a worried frown, “I thought this was your favorite dish, did I get it wrong?” He held out his own plate, “do you want some of mine instead, or you can have some of Ryo-chan’s if you’d like…”
He shook his head, “it’s not that, I don’t really feel like eating right now, that’s all.”
Ryo glowered and shoved a piece of meat into his mouth, “don’t say things like ‘that’s all’ when it comes to appetite loss. Are you stupid? If you lose anymore weight, I won’t be able to call you Fat Jin anymore.”
The younger singer waited until he swallowed the piece of meat and shoved another piece in, “Ryo-chan’s right, you need to eat…”
Jin glared at the two, speaking with his mouth full of meat, “this isn’t me eating, this is you guys stuffing food down my throat, not to mention I’m probably going to choke and die because of you two.”
Pi raised a brow, “I have no idea what you just said…but ignoring that,” he looked at the other seriously, “Jin…it’s almost been two weeks now.” He stopped glaring and watched his friend wordlessly. “After…this, what are you going to do? What’s going to happen?”
The eldest swallowed the food in his mouth, “I don’t know…I don’t want to think about it, not yet. I mean…I can’t say things like ‘I can’t live without Kame’ because…I’m going to have to, won’t I? I’m going to have to learn how to cope and all that, and I don’t want to, not while I don’t have to. I don’t want to think about anything like that, not while he’s still here. So please don’t ask me things like that…not yet…”
-------------------------
A couple days later, upon arriving to the hospital, he ran into Kame’s parents. They were talking to a doctor who was bowing apologetically; he couldn’t help but clench his fists.
He’s not gone yet, so don’t act like he is.
The other’s mother caught sight of him and gave a small smile before walking over, “Jin-kun…”
He nodded politely, “hello…”
They had spoken quite a few times in the waiter’s room, though most of the time it was about the waiter. He waited for her next comment which came accordingly, “I want to thank you…”
Jin blinked, a little confused, “Why? I didn’t do anything.”
She fiddled with her hands as though to hold back her own tears, “I want to thank you for being there for Kazu-chan all this time, you and Tatsuya-kun were always by his side. I don't know what he would've done without you boys.”
“What are you talking about?” Realizing how rude he sounded, he shoved his hands in his pockets and looked at his shoes. He mumbled, “All I did was stand there…that was all I could do for him…”
The mother shook her head, “don’t say that, Jin-kun. You may not understand it now, but you did more for him than you could ever imagine…so thank you…”
He stood there and watched as she turned around with a sad smile, returning to her husband’s side. Hanging his head in shame, he could only mutter quietly to himself, “But…”
But I couldn’t save him…
-------------------------
When he got to the room, he could hear Ueda’s soft, trembling voice, a voice he had strangely gotten used to. “It’s alright Kame…you’re tired, right…?”
Jin just stood there, by the door as he watched the older man stand beside his best friend’s bed, holding the other’s hand. His voice fled with his thoughts as all he found himself able to do was watch.
“You’ve been in so much pain…but it’s okay now Kame,” he brushed the hair out of the other’s eyes as he whispered softly, “go to sleep Kame…”
The younger man sighed and tilted his head slightly towards the singer’s general direction. And for a second, he could’ve sworn the other saw him.
-------------------------
When the waiter closed his eyes, a few minutes later, Ueda looked over at him with tears running down his cheeks, there was a heartbreaking smile on his face, “he can finally sleep…he…Kame’s not in pain anymore…after such a long time…that’s good…isn’t it?”
All he could do was run out before his own tears began falling.
-------------------------
Kame never woke up again.
-------------------------
The day Kame died, the sun was out and the birds were chirping. Ueda was the only person who was in the room at the time when his heart stopped.
But still,
Life went on as though nothing had happened.
-------------------------
Jin held back his tears, even through the funeral, he held them back. Everyone was there; they were all there, grieving over their loss. And even while his friends wept beside him, he remained dry-eyed.
“Promise me you won’t cry when this chapter comes to an end.”
So he stood there, feeling nothing but numbness as he watched people pay their respects to their deceased friend. When the crowd began dispersing, he continued standing there. Beside him, he could faintly hear footsteps approaching, though no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t pinpoint just how close they were, “Jin…are you going to be alright?”
The singer didn’t answer; he knew that if he were to open his mouth, he wouldn’t be able to stay in control of himself. He wouldn’t be able to hold back the tears, the screams, the terror of the realization that…
Kame was gone.
After a long moment, he allowed his friends to lead him away, back to his apartment.
-------------------------
Once left alone in his apartment, he stood there in the suit he didn’t remember putting on. He didn’t bother taking off his shoes and walked into the living room to look out the window, it was still sunny, and the clouds in the sky continued passing by.
Somewhere in the back of his mind, he wanted to open the window to smell the fresh air, but his body ignored his desire to move. Instead, he turned around and scanned the room, looking at the crumpled pieces of paper with love filled lyrics messily scrawled onto them.
But none of that mattered now…
The numbness slowly faded away and anger began to replace it.
-------------------------
For the first time in his life, he found himself scorning the lightheartedness of the world.
All he could wonder was why time hadn’t stopped, after something so tragic…why was the world still going? Was it unaware of the loss it’d-he’d just experienced?
Jin clenched his fists and grounded his teeth, wishing nothing more than for the world to end.
Swallowing hard, he opened his mouth, and all at once, he let out a choked sob and tears wells up in his eyes. His legs gave out and he collapsed onto his floor, “Sorry, I’m so sorry Kame, I’m trying not to cry…but it’s so hard, I…why? Why Kame? Why’d you have to go and leave…?”
Then just as quickly as the anger came, it left, and he was left alone with his grief.
“Please come back…”
Please don’t leave me alone…
Receiving no response, he sat there and wept at the cruelty of the world.
-------------------------
As days continued to pass by, his friends would drop in to check up on him, even if it was just to make sure he was still eating properly.
Every time, depending on his mood, he would either let them in or completely ignore them. They all dropped by, some broke in, his best friends, the waiters, other people from the company…he never bothered giving anything but short answers when he bothered giving any response at all.
I’m fine.
Go away.
Yes.
No.
Hn…
Not hungry.
Just leave me alone.
He also stopped using his phone. He’d lost track of his calls and his phone a couple weeks before his concert, but being so preoccupied, he never bothered looking for it.
In the end, he bought a new one but never told anyone the number.
-------------------------
It wasn’t until a week and a bit later that his friends’ anxiety reached their peak. Jin had basically isolated himself from the world since the funeral. Having seen no visual signs of his best friend recovering from his grief, they went once more, for a visit.
They rang the doorbell.
No one answered.
They rang it again.
Again, no one answered.
Ryo looked over at him worriedly, gripping his hand just a little tighter. “Tomohisa…”
He turned to glance back at the other and gave a small nod, “don’t worry Ryo-chan, he’s fine…” a moment later, he added, “fine as in still alive. Maybe we should go home?”
The other chewed on his lower lip, worry evident on his face, “But…”
Giving the shorter man a reassuring smile and a gentle squeeze on his hand, “I understand, Ryo-chan.”
He pulled out the spare key his best friend had given him, the one for emergencies such as when the elder ended up locked out of his own apartment, and unlocked the door.
They exchanged looks of resolution and let their hands fall limply to their sides before stepping into the silent residence.
----------------------
Pi frowned as he walked around, the place was a mess. It seemed to have gotten worst every time they went in. The shorter man stood next to him and muttered, “I’ll go make something to eat…he probably hasn’t eaten since we last visited…”
He nodded and watched the other head into the kitchen before venturing into the living room. His heart broke a little when he caught sight of his best friend. Pursing his lips, walked over to the bedroom to retrieve a blanket and wrapped it around the shivering figure curled up on the couch. Jin paid no attention to the gesture as he continued fiddling with the stereo remote, playing one song on repeat over and over again.
“That time, that place, this bond won’t disappear…”
“Mabudachi Jin…” he muttered, sitting beside the other. Softly pulling the other into a loose hug, “hey…how are you? You’ll be alright…won’t you?”
In the kitchen, he could hear Ryo cooking up a meal for them, he hoped the other would finish soon since clearly, his guess wasn’t far off. The other singer looked terrible. His cheeks were starting to sink a little and his eyes spoke of sleepless nights and pitiless tears being shed.
The other gave no response.
Pursing his lips, he tried again, “Jin…don’t you think it’s time to go face the world…? You don’t have to work, but just…go outside again…it doesn’t matter how long. Do you want to go to the ocean with us again? It’ll be fun, I promise. We can go surfing and swimming and…”
Jin remained silent.
Ryo walked out with a tray of food in his hands, he shot the two worried looks. Pi just returned the look and shook his head with a sigh before trying again. “It can be longer for a day you know…why don’t you take a vacation?”
Again, there was no reply.
“…you know…you could go to America and study English…how does that sound? You like English, don’t you? Remember before? You were always talking about how you’d go overseas for a couple months to study it and how you’d come back and laugh at us in English…” he was trying his best to sound positive, though it became harder with his word he spoke, “and how we wouldn’t understand, but then you’d be kind and generous and teach it to us after you’ve had a good laugh at our expense…so how about it? Remember how you said that you’d become really good at all these different languages and how you’d use them to impress Ka-”
He couldn’t finish the sentence.
“You…” he gave a weak smile, “you wanted to study English, right?”
But then, much to his delight and dread at the same time, the comment evoked a reaction from the singer. Jin turned his head slightly, watching the other with a painfully blank expression that made his heart clench at the sight.
“It doesn’t matter now, Pi…Kame can’t hear me in any language…not anymore.”
--------------------
A/N: And here's the next chapter! This was actually quite depressing actually, personal experiences of loss kind of made this a little more realistic...for me anyways ^^; anyways, ignore me. Enjoy!
Pairings: Akame, slight Ryopi
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Jin's a successful artist when a fight with his friends forces him to seek stress relief in a little café where he meets what he considers, the strangest people.
Chapter 1// Chapter 2// Chapter 3// Chapter 4// Chapter 5// Chapter 6// Chapter 7// Chapter 8// Chapter 9// Chapter 10// Chapter 11// Chapter 12// Chapter 13// Chapter 14// Chapter 15// Chapter 16
Chapter 17:
After the tumor reached his brain stem, Jin skipped a week of work to stay by his side. Unable to say anything, the waiter would just lay there with a complacent look on his face, while he sat there, singing to him with his shaky voice.
It was all he could do.
No tears fell from the waiter’s eyes as the days went by.
-------------------------
One day, he was eating lunch with his friends before his visit to the hospital; he sat there and picked at his food. His appetite had been diminishing as of lately, and it caused Pi to look over with a worried frown, “I thought this was your favorite dish, did I get it wrong?” He held out his own plate, “do you want some of mine instead, or you can have some of Ryo-chan’s if you’d like…”
He shook his head, “it’s not that, I don’t really feel like eating right now, that’s all.”
Ryo glowered and shoved a piece of meat into his mouth, “don’t say things like ‘that’s all’ when it comes to appetite loss. Are you stupid? If you lose anymore weight, I won’t be able to call you Fat Jin anymore.”
The younger singer waited until he swallowed the piece of meat and shoved another piece in, “Ryo-chan’s right, you need to eat…”
Jin glared at the two, speaking with his mouth full of meat, “this isn’t me eating, this is you guys stuffing food down my throat, not to mention I’m probably going to choke and die because of you two.”
Pi raised a brow, “I have no idea what you just said…but ignoring that,” he looked at the other seriously, “Jin…it’s almost been two weeks now.” He stopped glaring and watched his friend wordlessly. “After…this, what are you going to do? What’s going to happen?”
The eldest swallowed the food in his mouth, “I don’t know…I don’t want to think about it, not yet. I mean…I can’t say things like ‘I can’t live without Kame’ because…I’m going to have to, won’t I? I’m going to have to learn how to cope and all that, and I don’t want to, not while I don’t have to. I don’t want to think about anything like that, not while he’s still here. So please don’t ask me things like that…not yet…”
-------------------------
A couple days later, upon arriving to the hospital, he ran into Kame’s parents. They were talking to a doctor who was bowing apologetically; he couldn’t help but clench his fists.
He’s not gone yet, so don’t act like he is.
The other’s mother caught sight of him and gave a small smile before walking over, “Jin-kun…”
He nodded politely, “hello…”
They had spoken quite a few times in the waiter’s room, though most of the time it was about the waiter. He waited for her next comment which came accordingly, “I want to thank you…”
Jin blinked, a little confused, “Why? I didn’t do anything.”
She fiddled with her hands as though to hold back her own tears, “I want to thank you for being there for Kazu-chan all this time, you and Tatsuya-kun were always by his side. I don't know what he would've done without you boys.”
“What are you talking about?” Realizing how rude he sounded, he shoved his hands in his pockets and looked at his shoes. He mumbled, “All I did was stand there…that was all I could do for him…”
The mother shook her head, “don’t say that, Jin-kun. You may not understand it now, but you did more for him than you could ever imagine…so thank you…”
He stood there and watched as she turned around with a sad smile, returning to her husband’s side. Hanging his head in shame, he could only mutter quietly to himself, “But…”
But I couldn’t save him…
-------------------------
When he got to the room, he could hear Ueda’s soft, trembling voice, a voice he had strangely gotten used to. “It’s alright Kame…you’re tired, right…?”
Jin just stood there, by the door as he watched the older man stand beside his best friend’s bed, holding the other’s hand. His voice fled with his thoughts as all he found himself able to do was watch.
“You’ve been in so much pain…but it’s okay now Kame,” he brushed the hair out of the other’s eyes as he whispered softly, “go to sleep Kame…”
The younger man sighed and tilted his head slightly towards the singer’s general direction. And for a second, he could’ve sworn the other saw him.
-------------------------
When the waiter closed his eyes, a few minutes later, Ueda looked over at him with tears running down his cheeks, there was a heartbreaking smile on his face, “he can finally sleep…he…Kame’s not in pain anymore…after such a long time…that’s good…isn’t it?”
All he could do was run out before his own tears began falling.
-------------------------
Kame never woke up again.
-------------------------
The day Kame died, the sun was out and the birds were chirping. Ueda was the only person who was in the room at the time when his heart stopped.
But still,
Life went on as though nothing had happened.
-------------------------
Jin held back his tears, even through the funeral, he held them back. Everyone was there; they were all there, grieving over their loss. And even while his friends wept beside him, he remained dry-eyed.
“Promise me you won’t cry when this chapter comes to an end.”
So he stood there, feeling nothing but numbness as he watched people pay their respects to their deceased friend. When the crowd began dispersing, he continued standing there. Beside him, he could faintly hear footsteps approaching, though no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t pinpoint just how close they were, “Jin…are you going to be alright?”
The singer didn’t answer; he knew that if he were to open his mouth, he wouldn’t be able to stay in control of himself. He wouldn’t be able to hold back the tears, the screams, the terror of the realization that…
Kame was gone.
After a long moment, he allowed his friends to lead him away, back to his apartment.
-------------------------
Once left alone in his apartment, he stood there in the suit he didn’t remember putting on. He didn’t bother taking off his shoes and walked into the living room to look out the window, it was still sunny, and the clouds in the sky continued passing by.
Somewhere in the back of his mind, he wanted to open the window to smell the fresh air, but his body ignored his desire to move. Instead, he turned around and scanned the room, looking at the crumpled pieces of paper with love filled lyrics messily scrawled onto them.
But none of that mattered now…
The numbness slowly faded away and anger began to replace it.
-------------------------
For the first time in his life, he found himself scorning the lightheartedness of the world.
All he could wonder was why time hadn’t stopped, after something so tragic…why was the world still going? Was it unaware of the loss it’d-he’d just experienced?
Jin clenched his fists and grounded his teeth, wishing nothing more than for the world to end.
Swallowing hard, he opened his mouth, and all at once, he let out a choked sob and tears wells up in his eyes. His legs gave out and he collapsed onto his floor, “Sorry, I’m so sorry Kame, I’m trying not to cry…but it’s so hard, I…why? Why Kame? Why’d you have to go and leave…?”
Then just as quickly as the anger came, it left, and he was left alone with his grief.
“Please come back…”
Please don’t leave me alone…
Receiving no response, he sat there and wept at the cruelty of the world.
-------------------------
As days continued to pass by, his friends would drop in to check up on him, even if it was just to make sure he was still eating properly.
Every time, depending on his mood, he would either let them in or completely ignore them. They all dropped by, some broke in, his best friends, the waiters, other people from the company…he never bothered giving anything but short answers when he bothered giving any response at all.
I’m fine.
Go away.
Yes.
No.
Hn…
Not hungry.
Just leave me alone.
He also stopped using his phone. He’d lost track of his calls and his phone a couple weeks before his concert, but being so preoccupied, he never bothered looking for it.
In the end, he bought a new one but never told anyone the number.
-------------------------
It wasn’t until a week and a bit later that his friends’ anxiety reached their peak. Jin had basically isolated himself from the world since the funeral. Having seen no visual signs of his best friend recovering from his grief, they went once more, for a visit.
They rang the doorbell.
No one answered.
They rang it again.
Again, no one answered.
Ryo looked over at him worriedly, gripping his hand just a little tighter. “Tomohisa…”
He turned to glance back at the other and gave a small nod, “don’t worry Ryo-chan, he’s fine…” a moment later, he added, “fine as in still alive. Maybe we should go home?”
The other chewed on his lower lip, worry evident on his face, “But…”
Giving the shorter man a reassuring smile and a gentle squeeze on his hand, “I understand, Ryo-chan.”
He pulled out the spare key his best friend had given him, the one for emergencies such as when the elder ended up locked out of his own apartment, and unlocked the door.
They exchanged looks of resolution and let their hands fall limply to their sides before stepping into the silent residence.
----------------------
Pi frowned as he walked around, the place was a mess. It seemed to have gotten worst every time they went in. The shorter man stood next to him and muttered, “I’ll go make something to eat…he probably hasn’t eaten since we last visited…”
He nodded and watched the other head into the kitchen before venturing into the living room. His heart broke a little when he caught sight of his best friend. Pursing his lips, walked over to the bedroom to retrieve a blanket and wrapped it around the shivering figure curled up on the couch. Jin paid no attention to the gesture as he continued fiddling with the stereo remote, playing one song on repeat over and over again.
“That time, that place, this bond won’t disappear…”
“Mabudachi Jin…” he muttered, sitting beside the other. Softly pulling the other into a loose hug, “hey…how are you? You’ll be alright…won’t you?”
In the kitchen, he could hear Ryo cooking up a meal for them, he hoped the other would finish soon since clearly, his guess wasn’t far off. The other singer looked terrible. His cheeks were starting to sink a little and his eyes spoke of sleepless nights and pitiless tears being shed.
The other gave no response.
Pursing his lips, he tried again, “Jin…don’t you think it’s time to go face the world…? You don’t have to work, but just…go outside again…it doesn’t matter how long. Do you want to go to the ocean with us again? It’ll be fun, I promise. We can go surfing and swimming and…”
Jin remained silent.
Ryo walked out with a tray of food in his hands, he shot the two worried looks. Pi just returned the look and shook his head with a sigh before trying again. “It can be longer for a day you know…why don’t you take a vacation?”
Again, there was no reply.
“…you know…you could go to America and study English…how does that sound? You like English, don’t you? Remember before? You were always talking about how you’d go overseas for a couple months to study it and how you’d come back and laugh at us in English…” he was trying his best to sound positive, though it became harder with his word he spoke, “and how we wouldn’t understand, but then you’d be kind and generous and teach it to us after you’ve had a good laugh at our expense…so how about it? Remember how you said that you’d become really good at all these different languages and how you’d use them to impress Ka-”
He couldn’t finish the sentence.
“You…” he gave a weak smile, “you wanted to study English, right?”
But then, much to his delight and dread at the same time, the comment evoked a reaction from the singer. Jin turned his head slightly, watching the other with a painfully blank expression that made his heart clench at the sight.
“It doesn’t matter now, Pi…Kame can’t hear me in any language…not anymore.”
--------------------
A/N: And here's the next chapter! This was actually quite depressing actually, personal experiences of loss kind of made this a little more realistic...for me anyways ^^; anyways, ignore me. Enjoy!