keep feeding me bedroom eyes (and your tender lies)

[near_your_enemy]

He'd left.

He'd actually left.

N restrained a choked sob, because he was not going to cry about this--that was just stupid.  But something needed to be done, he needed to be somewhere, somewhere away from people.  He needed to--

--fuck, he didn't even know.  He had no idea what he was doing, everything just seemed to be so confusing, unreal.  He

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[goodwithhands]

[ Gevanni was just reading a book on his bed, wearing, surprisingly, something other than his usual suit - plain gray sweatpants and a white t-shirt. (he was planning on sleeping, later.)

And then someone was knocking on his door, so he got up, wondering who in the world would come looking for him. Maybe they'd gotten the wrong room...

But when he opens the door, he's surprised to see that it's - N! ]

N?

[ oh, he doesn't look so good... ]

Is something wrong?

[near_your_enemy]

He hates himself.

No--no he doesn't, because that's weak.

But if he's not good enough alone for Mihael, and if he's not good enough to defeat L, and if he's not good enough for any of that, doesn't it mean he's weak?

"..."

There needs to be some saving face here, he suddenly thinks. Gevanni has now seen way too much--he couldn't let this go on for much longer, or things would come out. Bad things, things that would only make everything worse.

"...you're right, of course." He finally pulls away, red-faced from the tears that never fell. "I'm being completely irrational, I think."

[goodwithhands]

[ he lets his hand fall to the mattress, again, as N pulls back. he watches N, worry and sadness obvious in his dark eyes. ]

It's okay. [ he feels as if he should repeat that. ] You're going to be okay.

[near_your_enemy]

"Of course I am."

He shakes his head, forcing his breathing to level, forcing his heart to calm, and the irrevocable misery to just go away.

"I must be a mess." He clicks dissaprovingly, twisting a finger in his hair. "I'm sure you didn't have to babysit your Near like this, hm?"

[goodwithhands]

[ he's happy to see that N is cheering up so quickly; he's not going to smile, yet, but he's at least happy. ]

No, it's fine. And - he's never shown much emotion, anyway, so I can't compare you two.

[near_your_enemy]

He frowns a bit, tilting his head.

"Considering that you've only met me in two highly-distressing times, I doubt a comparison would be exactly fair."

A small, tiny, if-you-blink-you'll-miss-it teasing smirk though.

[goodwithhands]

[ oh, he spotted that. ]

I suppose.

[ he gives the tiniest grin of his own. ]

Want those crackers, now?

[near_your_enemy]

"Hm?"

He pauses, a moment to think. "Alright. If you don't mind--I'd like to stay here, while you go."

[goodwithhands]

I don't mind. [ he gives a small, but genuine, smile, getting up and heading towards the door. ]

I'll be back in a few minutes, I have to go downstairs to find it - and I might pick up something for myself. You'll be okay?

[near_your_enemy]

"I'll be fine."

He glances back up, towards Gevanni. "I appreciate this."

And then, Gevanni's gone, and he's not quite sure what to do. Sitting here moping isn't going to get him anywhere--and who knew how long the SPK agent would be?

A small walk around the floor. It might make him feel better.

As a matter of fact, it didn't.

[near_your_enemy]

It... really didn't.

Scowling, he bursts into the room like hellfire, pleased that Gevanni can't see him in a mood like this.

Confused now, more than ever, he can't do anything, and the helplessness of it makes him want to just yell and scream and rip his hair out. He hated Near, hated him so much his heart felt like it was going to tear itself apart from the sheer loathing.

After a few minutes though, he could regain his calm, and sits down on the bed, closing his eyes--now, tired, just... tired.

[goodwithhands]

[ and Gevanni comes back, oblivious to N's troubles while he was gone, carrying a king-size box of animal crackers. he enters the room to find N sitting on the bed with his eyes closed - resting, or something. He pauses at the door, sensing that N is still upset. ]

Hey... I brought you the crackers, N.

[near_your_enemy]

He cracks open an eye at words, having heard Gevanni come in a moment earlier. N gives a small sigh and sits up, nodding vaguely.

"...I appreciate it."

N holds out a hand for the box, tilting his head a bit.

[goodwithhands]

[ Gevanni hands him the box, going to sit down in his chair again. ]

Are you feeling better?

[near_your_enemy]

"Not particularly."

He frowns somewhat, but takes the box and shoves a hand inside, picking out a few crackers and nibbling on them.

"Though, rather than dissolving into hysterics, I'm in more control of myself."

Contrary to his words, he looks practically murderous.

[goodwithhands]

Alright, then.

[ he watches, a little nervous about that murderous look, but not showing it. ]