Prankwar 2008, Chapter 1
So this plot bunny totally hit me this morning, because I've been reading far too much Supernatural fic and Jared/Jensen slash lately. I balked for about a half an hour, arguing to myself that I've never done RPS before, and I have standards as an artist.
Then I realized that no, actually, I have no standards, and no shame. Standards are for boring people. I am far too awesome to limit myself to the bounds of logic or decency. If I have the gall to slash Shakespeare, I can slash the Supernatural boys no problem.
And really, after three hours spent watching Jared and Jensen interviews on youtube? They're fucking adorable. I love boys who prank and make kissy faces at each other. How can I be expected to resist?
Title: Prankwar 2008, 1/5
Pairing: Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: They're real people. I have no shame. This shit never happened.
1 : 2 : 3 : 4 : 5
Jensen considers it a mark of great distinction that he gets full credit for starting Prankwar 2008.
He's had the idea in mind for awhile, so it just requires waiting until they get a script which calls for Jared to be wet, muddy, or covered in ectoplasm, which doesn't take long at all. Coercing the wardrobe crew into cooperation isn't even a challenge, after which it's just a matter of waiting until Jared's wet and muddy and heading for his trailer to change for the next scene.
The plan, as he had instructed the wardrobe crew, was to remove every pair of pants that could be found in Jared's trailer and replace them with a variety of skirts.
Neither wet nor muddy, Jensen taps his fingers on the arm of the ugly couch on set, waiting for Jared to realize the situation. Unless a pair of pants has been missed, there are two options. Jared can stay in his trailer and start yelling for pants, or he can put on one of the skirts and go in search of the pants. Knowing his costar the way he does, he's keeping the trailer in view and his camera within reach, hoping for a pink tutu or something glittery, although he really has no idea what choices the wardrobe crew left him with.
He doesn't have long to wait before Jared emerges, straight-faced, and wearing a kilt, complete with sporran. He's dry, dressed in Sam's shirt and Sam's boots, and acting as if nothing is out of the ordinary as he comes onto the set and gets into position. The entire crew is staring. Jensen grins and snaps a picture.
"Jared, what the hell." Their director looks incredulous.
"This is what wardrobe gave me," Jared replies, unruffled, although the grin twitching at his lips betrays that he knows this is a prank.
Jensen strolls over, slinging an arm around Jared's shoulders. "Dude, I hate to have to tell you this, but that skirt is just not flattering on your legs."
"It's a kilt," Jared replies, acting proud.
"You're Polish. I have more kilts in my ancestry than you do, and you don't see me prancing about in bare legs. Go put on some pants."
With the entire crew still laughing, someone in wardrobe brings him pants, and Jared goes to change, though he still insists that he looks "damn hot" in a kilt.
Two days later, and Jensen suspects someone confessed that the skirt prank was his idea, when he sits down on a set couch and hears the slow, flatulent exhale of a whoopie cushion. Jared can't keep a straight face for even a moment, cracking up. Jensen raises an eyebrow, barely containing his own grin, and delivers his line as if nothing happened, to no avail, since it takes them fifteen minutes to get Jared to stop laughing.
"The skirt thing was pretty good," Jared admits, as they slide into their respective chairs for hair and makeup. "I'm still going to have to outdo you for that one."
"Oh, you can try." Jensen just grins, flirting with his stylist as Jared picks up the container where he keeps his beloved candy ribbons, and makes the most delightful sound of horror as he opens it to find his candy replaced with celery. There's no way he can resist watching the look of Jared's face as he grabs for his chocolate stash and finds it filled with carrots, then goes for the pixie sticks and finds dark green strips of something unidentifiable.
"What the hell is this?"
Jensen shoots him a cocky grin. "Seaweed. It's good for you. Vitamins."
The look he gets in return is priceless.
Holding up a hand, Jensen digs for his camera. "Hold that face."
Jared chucks a carrot at his head, prompting Jensen to toss a jar of hair gel back at him, and the stylists have to separate them before it turns into a full-on food fight wrestling match in the hair and makeup trailer.
A week passes without incident, and Jensen's getting jumpy, because any prank that takes this long to plan has got to be something big. Jared's behavior is normal, alternating between working hard and goofing off, and he keeps up the pranks on their co-stars and crew whenever he gets a chance, often getting Jensen in on the joke, but never once targeting Jensen, which is real cause for concern.
They're dismissed for lunch one day, and it's going to be a long lunch, because they have to make changes to the set before the next scene. Props calls Jensen over to explain a trick in the gun he's going to be using, but before he goes, Jared touches his elbow, leaning in to whisper.
His breath stirs Jensen's ear, because he's several inches closer than is really necessary, and there's this rasp to his whisper that he's never heard in Jared's voice before, not even when he's flirting. "My trailer. Fifteen minutes."
Jensen stares at him, but Jared's already going, not waiting for a response. It's a prank, and Jensen knows it's a prank, but what the hell kind of prank calls for Jared using that kind of pillow-talk rasp in his voice? Jared's playful flirting is well known by the entire cast and crew, especially toward Jensen, because they're constantly touching each other's shoulders, shoving each other (especially if there something convenient to shove into, like any available body of water) and leaning against each other when they're sitting nearby. It's not uncommon for Jared to pounce him or even hit on him in public, but still, that rasp? That's new.
It takes him twice as long as it should to get the hang of the trick gun, because he's on edge about what Jared's plotting. As soon as his performance with the prop is deemed acceptable, he's heading for his co-star's trailer, banging on the door once and then heading inside. It's empty, which is even more suspicious. There's a lumpy shape on the bed, which is arranged in the shape of a human and which has a tangle mop of brown hair peeking out from under the blanket, but he knows it's not Jared, because Jared doesn't actually fit in that bed, and there would have to be a leg or an elbow sticking out somewhere to betray him. This is a trap.
Resigning himself to the inevitable, Jensen takes hold of one corner of the blanket and gingerly draws it back. The brown hair is revealed to be a cheap wig, as he suspected, revealing yellow and tan inflated plastic underneath. He pulls the blanket further, blinking at the painted face staring at him as if in shock, and it takes his brain several seconds to realize that whatever prank Jared's planning, it involves a blow-up doll, and Jensen's suddenly very concerned about hidden cameras.
The door opens before he's had any time to formulate a plan, and Jensen quickly pulls the blanket back up over the doll, feeling guilty even though he knows this is a trap. Jared steps in, looks surprised, glances from him to the bed, and the crushed look that crosses over his face is so sincere that Jensen almost believes that something's actually wrong, for about a split second.
Jared strides forward, pulling back the blanket, then pins him with this look, half heartbreak and half accusation. "My best friend and my girlfriend? Jensen, how could you?"
The force of that look, from those damn puppy eyes, is pretty intense, but Jensen can see the laughter threatening to bubble through, and he just shakes his head, grinning. "You are on drugs, my friend."
Jared slings an arm around his shoulders, relaxing back against the trailer closet. "Darla says that she's open to a threesome, if you were interested."
Jensen shoves him, heading for the door already. "Leave me out of your kinky sexcapades, dude. You coming to lunch or not?"
Apparently deciding that Darla was too good of a prop to abandon, Jared actually succeeds at keeping a straight face when their female guest star of the week opens the closet and prepared to scream at the presence of a dead body but instead dissolves into giggles when faced with Darla in a bloody sheet. Jensen starts helping out after that, leaving Darla in strategic positions and often in various costumes. It isn't until they dress her up in jeans and t-shirt and prop her in the director's chair that Kim Manners orders her confiscated and removed from the set. Jared pouts, but is nonetheless grinning at their success.
With Darla gone, Jensen's thinking about that damned rasp to Jared's voice, and wondering how to get appropriate revenge. It takes him a few days, but finally he comes up with a plan to mess with Jared's head. There's not exactly a lot of set-up involved, he just has to wait until he knows Jared's headed over to his trailer to meet up with him, and time things perfectly. He keeps the curtains cracked just an inch so that he can see the direction Jared will come, and stays there, totally alert, for fifteen minutes--fifteen minutes that could be spent sleeping. When he sees him, he moves quickly, waiting until the exact moment that he sees Jared's shadow fall across the door, and then slams himself against one of the trailer walls, punctuating it with a loud moan and an "Oh, god, Jared.."
Jared freezes in place, so Jensen knows he fell for it. Reaching down to open the door, he lets it swing open, but apparently Jared is more stunned (and standing closer) than he realized, because it smacks Jared right in the forehead, and Jensen can't help but laugh at the startled and indignant look on his face at being hit with a door.
"Dude," Jensen grins. "Gotcha."
Jared's eyes widen as it dawns on him that Jensen is very clearly dressed, unrumpled and not smelling of sex, so he immediately tackles Jensen, messing up his hair. "Oh, you little bitch!"
Usually, Jared loves talking about their pranks--really, Jared just loves talking--regardless if he's the perpetrator or the victim, but this time Jared doesn't say a word about how totally he fell for Jensen's trick. This is strange, because even given the sexual nature of the prank, Jared makes jokes about these things all the time, so he'd expect Jared to be talking for days about how he thought his co-star was secretly (and rather loudly through thin trailer walls, which should've been a hint) getting off to thoughts of him.
They start shooting the next episode, and the first few days are too busy to think about pranks, until they're working on a scene with Katie Cassidy and Katie's not around. It takes them a few minutes to realize that no one told Katie about the last-minute schedule change, so the crew mobilizes to get Katie on the set and prepped as soon as possible, while Jared and Jensen wait.
Jensen sips at Dean's beer, because it makes him look cool and he's kinda thirsty, even though he knows it's only water. Jared grins at him, leaning against the bar.
"Hey," Jared speaks up so suddenly that the surrounding crew stops to look at him, surprised. Jared grins at the sudden attention, impish. "I can play Ruby."
Jensen snorts and takes another sip of his water, and no one's paying attention to Jared anymore, so he pushes up from the bar and grins at Jensen. "No, c'mon. I'll be Ruby."
Pushing himself up, Jensen takes Jared's place leaning against the bar. "Why, Katie, how tall you are. What sharp teeth you have."
Jared looks away, composing his face, and Jensen hates that he's so damn good at doing impressions (the Jensen impression he loves doing is particularly galling), because he's got Ruby's take-me-seriously-or-I'll-kick-your-ass face on, and it's perfect.
"I'm sorry, Dean," Jared says, all sincerity, "but the truth is that Sammy's always been the most attractive Winchester."
Jensen feels himself grin. "Dude, you can't play Ruby if you don't know her lines."
"Stay in character," Jared scolds. "How many takes do you want to have to do?"
There's no way Jensen can even pretend to take this seriously, but he flashes his thousand-watt grin at "Ruby" and takes a step forward. "You say that, Ruby, and yet you know you can't resist me."
"It's true," Jared confesses, amping up the melodrama, head cast to the side and looking dejected. "Even if you are older. Shorter. Kiss me, you fool!"
"You're not even trying anymore," Jensen complains, but then Jared's grabbing him and sweeping him off his feet and dipping him back in good old Hollywood fashion, and wow, there's something that's never happened to him before. "Ruby!" he yelps, voice embarrassingly high, and he'd consider punching Jared, to get that damn smirk off his face, but that might result in Jared dropping him, which seems like a bad idea.
"Wow, how did I miss this scene?" Katie's standing on the edge of the set, arms crossed and grinning. "Did we change the script?"
Jared drops him on his ass, and Jensen swears at him before grinning innocently at Katie. "Uh."
"Sorry, Katie," says Kim, just as innocent. "But we've decided to replace you. Jared's going to be doing Ruby from now on."
"Budget cuts," Eric Kripke explains. "Jensen and Jared are now going to take over the roles of all supporting characters." Jensen's so damn proud of him for keeping a straight face.
"No hard feelings," Jared grins, hauling Jensen to his feet. "I just can't bear to share Jensen."
"I hate you, dude," Jensen tells him.
"Cool." Katie drops into a chair. "Carry on."
Jensen's only just gotten upright again, when Jared sweeps him back into another dip, and he suddenly feels a surge of sympathy for every girl who's ever had to do that, because it's just not something he's ever going to get used to. Playing along this time, he puts his arms around Jared's neck. "Don't you dare drop me, uh, Ruby."
"This is way more fun than I realized," Jared confesses, but then Kim makes them actually do work, which is a relief after being upside-down and worrying about why you're upside down and whether or not your co-star is actually going to kiss you, because that's not something Jensen's ever had to worry about before and he finds it alarming that now he can't stop thinking about it.
They have the weekend off, so the two of them head over to Jensen's place to hang out. Jensen's nearly passed out and leaning heavily on Jared, who's engrossed in playing Halo between swigs of Jensen's beer, because they're both too lazy to get up and get their own, so they're just sharing the last one within reach (Jensen insists that he had it first, which makes it officially Jensen's beer).
"Dude," Jensen says.
Jared grunts to indicate that he's paying attention, despite all evidence to the contrary.
"Warn a guy before you do that sweeping-dip thing. It's disorienting."
Jared's brow creases. "What?"
"The kiss move. Disconcerting."
Jared grins, looking over at him. "Disorienting or disconcerting?"
It was Jensen's turn to grunt, because he was way too drunk to figure out whether or not there was a difference. "Both."
"Lightweight," Jared snipes.
"Giant," Jensen counters.
"Midget."
"Freak."
Looking over, Jensen realizes that Jared's just gotten himself killed because of not paying attention. "Loser. You're dead."
Jared looks back at the screen. "Aww, damn."
Scooting forward off the couch, he switches the console off. No longer supported by Jared's shoulder, Jensen flops full-length on the couch, grabs the beer and finishes it.
"Cool if I crash here?" Jared asks, even though he already knows the answer. He hefts an arm under Jensen's shoulders and gets him to his feet, steering him into the bedroom and dropping him into bed. Jensen grunts again, waving an arm vaguely.
Jared hesitates in the door, watching him, and Jensen cracks an eye open, wondering when his eyelids gained twenty pounds. "Hey, Ruby."
He sees Jared grin, hears him come over, and feels the bed shift as Jared's hands land on either side of his head. "Get some sleep, Jen," he whispers, and Jensen's not sure if he dreams the kiss, because it's the last thing he remembers before he falls asleep.
-
Next Chapter
Cross-posted to jsquared_rps and padacklesrps, because I'm all about whoring myself out.
Then I realized that no, actually, I have no standards, and no shame. Standards are for boring people. I am far too awesome to limit myself to the bounds of logic or decency. If I have the gall to slash Shakespeare, I can slash the Supernatural boys no problem.
And really, after three hours spent watching Jared and Jensen interviews on youtube? They're fucking adorable. I love boys who prank and make kissy faces at each other. How can I be expected to resist?
Title: Prankwar 2008, 1/5
Pairing: Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: They're real people. I have no shame. This shit never happened.
1 : 2 : 3 : 4 : 5
Jensen considers it a mark of great distinction that he gets full credit for starting Prankwar 2008.
He's had the idea in mind for awhile, so it just requires waiting until they get a script which calls for Jared to be wet, muddy, or covered in ectoplasm, which doesn't take long at all. Coercing the wardrobe crew into cooperation isn't even a challenge, after which it's just a matter of waiting until Jared's wet and muddy and heading for his trailer to change for the next scene.
The plan, as he had instructed the wardrobe crew, was to remove every pair of pants that could be found in Jared's trailer and replace them with a variety of skirts.
Neither wet nor muddy, Jensen taps his fingers on the arm of the ugly couch on set, waiting for Jared to realize the situation. Unless a pair of pants has been missed, there are two options. Jared can stay in his trailer and start yelling for pants, or he can put on one of the skirts and go in search of the pants. Knowing his costar the way he does, he's keeping the trailer in view and his camera within reach, hoping for a pink tutu or something glittery, although he really has no idea what choices the wardrobe crew left him with.
He doesn't have long to wait before Jared emerges, straight-faced, and wearing a kilt, complete with sporran. He's dry, dressed in Sam's shirt and Sam's boots, and acting as if nothing is out of the ordinary as he comes onto the set and gets into position. The entire crew is staring. Jensen grins and snaps a picture.
"Jared, what the hell." Their director looks incredulous.
"This is what wardrobe gave me," Jared replies, unruffled, although the grin twitching at his lips betrays that he knows this is a prank.
Jensen strolls over, slinging an arm around Jared's shoulders. "Dude, I hate to have to tell you this, but that skirt is just not flattering on your legs."
"It's a kilt," Jared replies, acting proud.
"You're Polish. I have more kilts in my ancestry than you do, and you don't see me prancing about in bare legs. Go put on some pants."
With the entire crew still laughing, someone in wardrobe brings him pants, and Jared goes to change, though he still insists that he looks "damn hot" in a kilt.
Two days later, and Jensen suspects someone confessed that the skirt prank was his idea, when he sits down on a set couch and hears the slow, flatulent exhale of a whoopie cushion. Jared can't keep a straight face for even a moment, cracking up. Jensen raises an eyebrow, barely containing his own grin, and delivers his line as if nothing happened, to no avail, since it takes them fifteen minutes to get Jared to stop laughing.
"The skirt thing was pretty good," Jared admits, as they slide into their respective chairs for hair and makeup. "I'm still going to have to outdo you for that one."
"Oh, you can try." Jensen just grins, flirting with his stylist as Jared picks up the container where he keeps his beloved candy ribbons, and makes the most delightful sound of horror as he opens it to find his candy replaced with celery. There's no way he can resist watching the look of Jared's face as he grabs for his chocolate stash and finds it filled with carrots, then goes for the pixie sticks and finds dark green strips of something unidentifiable.
"What the hell is this?"
Jensen shoots him a cocky grin. "Seaweed. It's good for you. Vitamins."
The look he gets in return is priceless.
Holding up a hand, Jensen digs for his camera. "Hold that face."
Jared chucks a carrot at his head, prompting Jensen to toss a jar of hair gel back at him, and the stylists have to separate them before it turns into a full-on food fight wrestling match in the hair and makeup trailer.
A week passes without incident, and Jensen's getting jumpy, because any prank that takes this long to plan has got to be something big. Jared's behavior is normal, alternating between working hard and goofing off, and he keeps up the pranks on their co-stars and crew whenever he gets a chance, often getting Jensen in on the joke, but never once targeting Jensen, which is real cause for concern.
They're dismissed for lunch one day, and it's going to be a long lunch, because they have to make changes to the set before the next scene. Props calls Jensen over to explain a trick in the gun he's going to be using, but before he goes, Jared touches his elbow, leaning in to whisper.
His breath stirs Jensen's ear, because he's several inches closer than is really necessary, and there's this rasp to his whisper that he's never heard in Jared's voice before, not even when he's flirting. "My trailer. Fifteen minutes."
Jensen stares at him, but Jared's already going, not waiting for a response. It's a prank, and Jensen knows it's a prank, but what the hell kind of prank calls for Jared using that kind of pillow-talk rasp in his voice? Jared's playful flirting is well known by the entire cast and crew, especially toward Jensen, because they're constantly touching each other's shoulders, shoving each other (especially if there something convenient to shove into, like any available body of water) and leaning against each other when they're sitting nearby. It's not uncommon for Jared to pounce him or even hit on him in public, but still, that rasp? That's new.
It takes him twice as long as it should to get the hang of the trick gun, because he's on edge about what Jared's plotting. As soon as his performance with the prop is deemed acceptable, he's heading for his co-star's trailer, banging on the door once and then heading inside. It's empty, which is even more suspicious. There's a lumpy shape on the bed, which is arranged in the shape of a human and which has a tangle mop of brown hair peeking out from under the blanket, but he knows it's not Jared, because Jared doesn't actually fit in that bed, and there would have to be a leg or an elbow sticking out somewhere to betray him. This is a trap.
Resigning himself to the inevitable, Jensen takes hold of one corner of the blanket and gingerly draws it back. The brown hair is revealed to be a cheap wig, as he suspected, revealing yellow and tan inflated plastic underneath. He pulls the blanket further, blinking at the painted face staring at him as if in shock, and it takes his brain several seconds to realize that whatever prank Jared's planning, it involves a blow-up doll, and Jensen's suddenly very concerned about hidden cameras.
The door opens before he's had any time to formulate a plan, and Jensen quickly pulls the blanket back up over the doll, feeling guilty even though he knows this is a trap. Jared steps in, looks surprised, glances from him to the bed, and the crushed look that crosses over his face is so sincere that Jensen almost believes that something's actually wrong, for about a split second.
Jared strides forward, pulling back the blanket, then pins him with this look, half heartbreak and half accusation. "My best friend and my girlfriend? Jensen, how could you?"
The force of that look, from those damn puppy eyes, is pretty intense, but Jensen can see the laughter threatening to bubble through, and he just shakes his head, grinning. "You are on drugs, my friend."
Jared slings an arm around his shoulders, relaxing back against the trailer closet. "Darla says that she's open to a threesome, if you were interested."
Jensen shoves him, heading for the door already. "Leave me out of your kinky sexcapades, dude. You coming to lunch or not?"
Apparently deciding that Darla was too good of a prop to abandon, Jared actually succeeds at keeping a straight face when their female guest star of the week opens the closet and prepared to scream at the presence of a dead body but instead dissolves into giggles when faced with Darla in a bloody sheet. Jensen starts helping out after that, leaving Darla in strategic positions and often in various costumes. It isn't until they dress her up in jeans and t-shirt and prop her in the director's chair that Kim Manners orders her confiscated and removed from the set. Jared pouts, but is nonetheless grinning at their success.
With Darla gone, Jensen's thinking about that damned rasp to Jared's voice, and wondering how to get appropriate revenge. It takes him a few days, but finally he comes up with a plan to mess with Jared's head. There's not exactly a lot of set-up involved, he just has to wait until he knows Jared's headed over to his trailer to meet up with him, and time things perfectly. He keeps the curtains cracked just an inch so that he can see the direction Jared will come, and stays there, totally alert, for fifteen minutes--fifteen minutes that could be spent sleeping. When he sees him, he moves quickly, waiting until the exact moment that he sees Jared's shadow fall across the door, and then slams himself against one of the trailer walls, punctuating it with a loud moan and an "Oh, god, Jared.."
Jared freezes in place, so Jensen knows he fell for it. Reaching down to open the door, he lets it swing open, but apparently Jared is more stunned (and standing closer) than he realized, because it smacks Jared right in the forehead, and Jensen can't help but laugh at the startled and indignant look on his face at being hit with a door.
"Dude," Jensen grins. "Gotcha."
Jared's eyes widen as it dawns on him that Jensen is very clearly dressed, unrumpled and not smelling of sex, so he immediately tackles Jensen, messing up his hair. "Oh, you little bitch!"
Usually, Jared loves talking about their pranks--really, Jared just loves talking--regardless if he's the perpetrator or the victim, but this time Jared doesn't say a word about how totally he fell for Jensen's trick. This is strange, because even given the sexual nature of the prank, Jared makes jokes about these things all the time, so he'd expect Jared to be talking for days about how he thought his co-star was secretly (and rather loudly through thin trailer walls, which should've been a hint) getting off to thoughts of him.
They start shooting the next episode, and the first few days are too busy to think about pranks, until they're working on a scene with Katie Cassidy and Katie's not around. It takes them a few minutes to realize that no one told Katie about the last-minute schedule change, so the crew mobilizes to get Katie on the set and prepped as soon as possible, while Jared and Jensen wait.
Jensen sips at Dean's beer, because it makes him look cool and he's kinda thirsty, even though he knows it's only water. Jared grins at him, leaning against the bar.
"Hey," Jared speaks up so suddenly that the surrounding crew stops to look at him, surprised. Jared grins at the sudden attention, impish. "I can play Ruby."
Jensen snorts and takes another sip of his water, and no one's paying attention to Jared anymore, so he pushes up from the bar and grins at Jensen. "No, c'mon. I'll be Ruby."
Pushing himself up, Jensen takes Jared's place leaning against the bar. "Why, Katie, how tall you are. What sharp teeth you have."
Jared looks away, composing his face, and Jensen hates that he's so damn good at doing impressions (the Jensen impression he loves doing is particularly galling), because he's got Ruby's take-me-seriously-or-I'll-kick-your-ass face on, and it's perfect.
"I'm sorry, Dean," Jared says, all sincerity, "but the truth is that Sammy's always been the most attractive Winchester."
Jensen feels himself grin. "Dude, you can't play Ruby if you don't know her lines."
"Stay in character," Jared scolds. "How many takes do you want to have to do?"
There's no way Jensen can even pretend to take this seriously, but he flashes his thousand-watt grin at "Ruby" and takes a step forward. "You say that, Ruby, and yet you know you can't resist me."
"It's true," Jared confesses, amping up the melodrama, head cast to the side and looking dejected. "Even if you are older. Shorter. Kiss me, you fool!"
"You're not even trying anymore," Jensen complains, but then Jared's grabbing him and sweeping him off his feet and dipping him back in good old Hollywood fashion, and wow, there's something that's never happened to him before. "Ruby!" he yelps, voice embarrassingly high, and he'd consider punching Jared, to get that damn smirk off his face, but that might result in Jared dropping him, which seems like a bad idea.
"Wow, how did I miss this scene?" Katie's standing on the edge of the set, arms crossed and grinning. "Did we change the script?"
Jared drops him on his ass, and Jensen swears at him before grinning innocently at Katie. "Uh."
"Sorry, Katie," says Kim, just as innocent. "But we've decided to replace you. Jared's going to be doing Ruby from now on."
"Budget cuts," Eric Kripke explains. "Jensen and Jared are now going to take over the roles of all supporting characters." Jensen's so damn proud of him for keeping a straight face.
"No hard feelings," Jared grins, hauling Jensen to his feet. "I just can't bear to share Jensen."
"I hate you, dude," Jensen tells him.
"Cool." Katie drops into a chair. "Carry on."
Jensen's only just gotten upright again, when Jared sweeps him back into another dip, and he suddenly feels a surge of sympathy for every girl who's ever had to do that, because it's just not something he's ever going to get used to. Playing along this time, he puts his arms around Jared's neck. "Don't you dare drop me, uh, Ruby."
"This is way more fun than I realized," Jared confesses, but then Kim makes them actually do work, which is a relief after being upside-down and worrying about why you're upside down and whether or not your co-star is actually going to kiss you, because that's not something Jensen's ever had to worry about before and he finds it alarming that now he can't stop thinking about it.
They have the weekend off, so the two of them head over to Jensen's place to hang out. Jensen's nearly passed out and leaning heavily on Jared, who's engrossed in playing Halo between swigs of Jensen's beer, because they're both too lazy to get up and get their own, so they're just sharing the last one within reach (Jensen insists that he had it first, which makes it officially Jensen's beer).
"Dude," Jensen says.
Jared grunts to indicate that he's paying attention, despite all evidence to the contrary.
"Warn a guy before you do that sweeping-dip thing. It's disorienting."
Jared's brow creases. "What?"
"The kiss move. Disconcerting."
Jared grins, looking over at him. "Disorienting or disconcerting?"
It was Jensen's turn to grunt, because he was way too drunk to figure out whether or not there was a difference. "Both."
"Lightweight," Jared snipes.
"Giant," Jensen counters.
"Midget."
"Freak."
Looking over, Jensen realizes that Jared's just gotten himself killed because of not paying attention. "Loser. You're dead."
Jared looks back at the screen. "Aww, damn."
Scooting forward off the couch, he switches the console off. No longer supported by Jared's shoulder, Jensen flops full-length on the couch, grabs the beer and finishes it.
"Cool if I crash here?" Jared asks, even though he already knows the answer. He hefts an arm under Jensen's shoulders and gets him to his feet, steering him into the bedroom and dropping him into bed. Jensen grunts again, waving an arm vaguely.
Jared hesitates in the door, watching him, and Jensen cracks an eye open, wondering when his eyelids gained twenty pounds. "Hey, Ruby."
He sees Jared grin, hears him come over, and feels the bed shift as Jared's hands land on either side of his head. "Get some sleep, Jen," he whispers, and Jensen's not sure if he dreams the kiss, because it's the last thing he remembers before he falls asleep.
-
Next Chapter
Cross-posted to jsquared_rps and padacklesrps, because I'm all about whoring myself out.