Should I stay or should I go?

[nackrufs]

In just a few weeks I will be done with my studies. I will be a fully qualified medical secretary. I will be finished. No more school. It's the beginning of a new chapter in my life. An uncertain future. I have so many doubts about my future and enough doubts about my choice of profession for a separate LJ entry (how bad is that?). And many

Comments

[vargen]

I'm not going to tell you what you should choose - that choice is up to the both of you to make.

But I'm sure that whatever you choose it will be for the best! For both of you! :)

And good luck with getting a job! :)

*hugs*

[nackrufs]

Thank you! I hope so and I'm glad to hear that you have faith in us :) *hugs*

[naye]

It looks like you've thought it through really well - and that you're aware of the most important thing, which is that nothing you decide to do is permanent. You can always change your minds; you can always do one thing for now, and another one later.

Another thing you could do is look at why you shouldn't do either one or the other. Right now Örebro definitely looks like the best option for you, but what about drawbacks to living in Örebro? What about Stockholm? Especially if Stockholm has a lot of drawbacks for you, you might want to map those out, too.

Good luck! Making decisions like this is never easy, and you've got a lot on your mind right now. But I think that no matter what you do, you'll end up happy. ♥

[nackrufs]

That is true and it's good to have in mind. And actually, we don't have to choose either of them - we could move to a completely different town! :P Not very likely, but we could.

Ah yes, I did that and this actually started out as a list of pros and cons, but the drawbacks were pretty much just the opposites of the benefits so I skipped them ^^

Thank you so much! ♥ I really hope you're right!

[darnia]

I was just going to ask why not move to a completely different town, but then you wouldn't have your family close.

[heuteistmeintag]

I came here to suggest Eskilstuna or Västerås...half way in between the two!

[nordiclania]

Jag ser inga konstigheter i att Danne flyttar till Örebro om han nu vill det. :) Jag menar, visst, man kommer inte kunna ses lika ofta (men vi ses ju redan så sällan som det är! >_<) och det är viktiga poänger det där med lägenhet. Jobb också. Får man mer betalt i Sthlm? Tja, det kan jag ju inte uttala mig om.

Som du säger, det är viktiga saker att tänka på och absolut inget beslut man gör lättvindigt. Och som sagt, inget är satt i sten, man kan faktiskt flytta igen, om man vill efter några år. :)

[nackrufs]

Det verkar faktiskt som han vill det, men jag undrar om han inte skulle föredra att stanna i Stockholm ändå..? Jag vet inte, det lär väl visa sig :)

Ja, det är tråkigt att vi inte kommer att kunna träffas lika ofta och ska vi göra det lär vi väl få sova över eller bo på hotell. Det vore praktiskt att ha en lägenhet i båda städer men det är ju inte riktigt ekonomiskt hållbart :P Dessutom kan jag inte direkt tänka mig att bo i Dannes nuvarande lägenhet om vi ska flytta ihop, medan jag kan tänka mig att klämma in mig tillsammans med honom i min ett tag om vi inte skulle få en lägenhet direkt.

Jag vet inte om det stämmer för alla, men landstinget i Örebro är ett av de sämst betalda landstingen i landet så jag skulle i alla fall få bättre betalt i Stockholm än här.

Jaja, det blir till att fundera mera :)

[nordiclania]

Well, ursäkta mig, men jag tycker att din lägenhet är den bättre. ^^;;;; Så, inga konstigheter alls att du hellre vill bo i den. :D

Skulle du hälsa på så finns det alltid en bäddsoffa här hos mig! :D Hotell, pfft, inte ska du behöva lägga ut pengar på sånt. ;)

Förresten, Danne hade ringt för nån dag sen, du vet inte vad det var han ville? :o

[nackrufs]

;D Hoho. Tack, vad snäll du är ♥

Han ville inget särskilt säger han. Bara prata lite :)

[pfefferhahn]

Hm, this sounds difficult indeed. Would you get a job in Stockholm? What would Danne prefer to do?

[nackrufs]

I don't know, I probably could. Though I went to a job interview in Örebro last Thursday. Danne had an interview in Örebro last week as well, and will go to another interview in Stockholm on Tuesday, so we'll see how everything goes.. I guess in the end it will be the result of those interviews that will decide. Danne says he'd like to live in Örebro though.

[anonymous]

What's so wrong about continuing to be a live apart couple? It can be quite nice. I of course see the emotional and financial benefits of living together, but independence is important too. However, it could just as well be your angst about inevitably becoming an adult and all that. It most likely is, no?
If you do choose one, and only one, city to live in, choose the one where you have the most friends. "Your family made you, but you made your friends", cheese as it may be. Family is nice, but friends are what develop our characters, turn us into the ones we want to be. Family on the other hand preserves the ones we already are. (As caring, loving and wonderful as they may be!) The importance of the experience of having broken up from someone dear can not be overstressed, but for our long-term well-being it's equally important for us to "break up" from our families and define ourselves.

[nordiclania]

I like this comment. :) You have some very good points Anonymous! ;)

[nackrufs]

It can be quite nice, as I wrote up there, but as I also mentioned it can't go on forever. We want to take the relationship to the next level and it's a bit hard to do that when we live apart ^^; And perhaps you've misinterpreted the situation a bit? I moved out from my family a few years ago, so the doubts I have are not really about becoming an adult. I have other doubts, but if I never try how will I find out? :)

You have some good points though. Thanks for your comment.