I have had several conversations recently with a well-meaning person who, when I say over the course of talking about things, that I am not entirely sane, that my brain is not normal, replies with "Oh, don't say that about yourself! Who's to say what 'normal' is? You're totally sane and normal!", and cannot understand that it's not me being self-denigrating, it's simply something that I have had to come to understand about myself. You can have the best attitude in the world, but that doesn't help if your brain decides that everything is going to make you cry today. It's taken me a very, very long time to understand that this is part of who I am, and something I will always have to deal with.
It's like.... she means well, really. But she CANNOT understand that the only way I can be okay with myself at all is to accept ALL of myself, including the fucked up bits. Most people interacting with me will never, ever see them, and it's a matter of trust that I show anything at all, so to have it thrown back in my face with denial is... a kind of betrayal of that.
What's worse is that the person in question's way of disagreeing with me is to just start talking over what I'm saying because that makes her point more valid (or something), until I have to shout so she'll just shut up and let me finish my damned sentence.
Yeah... not talking to her about personal shit ever again.
I have had a few people (both people with disabilities and those without) tell me they found me inspirational because I powered through so much, and that they respected me. In the case of the person with disabilities similar to mine, she was meaning "You survived, it gives me hope that I can, too" and I was fine with it. The others... I wasn't sure. I know they meant well, and *did* respect me, but at a point I also wondered "What if I can't power through anymore? Will you still respect me?" These particular people I know, actually, will, because they are my friends and aren't shitty about stuff like that. But it still gave me pause. On the days I just *can't* am I less respectable? Not in my book, but I suspect there are fair number of folks who feel that way.
I *loathe* the "it's all because of your attitude" tripe, for all the reasons you state.
XD Actually, no, I can't, since I don't have a TV that's hooked up to any external feeds! But I'm not surprised if they lampooned this way of thinking. It's ripe for mockery.
All of this. I get so tired of being told that I just need to try harder, that I just need to get over it and go to work when putting on clothes will be a victory for the day. I get tired of looking at pictures of people with physical disabilities and being told "Well look, THEY are doing just fine, why aren't you?" Because we don't have anything remotely close to the same challenges? Because even two people with the same mental illness diagnosis have two completely different set of challenges?
I will probably link to this from my blog, because you are amazing and put things into words in ways I will never manage to do. <3
I swear there is a special subset of troll who trawl the internet just looking for places where they can display their appalling lack of empathy/compassion/humaneness.
Especially the ones that start off with "I'm not disabled in any way, and I find this inspiring, how dare you say I shouldn't be inspired"
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What's worse is that the person in question's way of disagreeing with me is to just start talking over what I'm saying because that makes her point more valid (or something), until I have to shout so she'll just shut up and let me finish my damned sentence.
Yeah... not talking to her about personal shit ever again.
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I *loathe* the "it's all because of your attitude" tripe, for all the reasons you state.
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That's the kind of thing I actually love to hear.
but at a point I also wondered "What if I can't power through anymore? Will you still respect me?" Bang! Exactly ( ... )
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You watch the Simpsons, don't you? ;-)
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All of this. I get so tired of being told that I just need to try harder, that I just need to get over it and go to work when putting on clothes will be a victory for the day. I get tired of looking at pictures of people with physical disabilities and being told "Well look, THEY are doing just fine, why aren't you?" Because we don't have anything remotely close to the same challenges? Because even two people with the same mental illness diagnosis have two completely different set of challenges?
I will probably link to this from my blog, because you are amazing and put things into words in ways I will never manage to do. <3
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it's a fricking polar bear on a hunk of ice in the middle of the ocean. Nevermind polar bears are dying because their habitat is melting.
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It does make me think happily of asshats getting eaten by bears, though.
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http://www.abc.net.au/news/2012-07-03/young-inspiration-porn/4107006
Calling it inspiration porn.
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Especially the ones that start off with "I'm not disabled in any way, and I find this inspiring, how dare you say I shouldn't be inspired"
Makes my blood boil.
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