Even more than my depression, I hate what my anxiety does to me. I can push through depression - it's hard, but I can sleepwalk through life. I've done it before and manage to wrest a few tiny drops of joy out of the process.
But I hate being afraid of everything. When the panic hits me, I know what it's like not to want to go to sleep because you fear what will happen while you're unconscious and what you might wake up to. It sucks and it's exhausting.
I occasionally fantasize about winning the lottery or something and being able to give all my friends a million dollars apiece, just to make everyone's lives easier and less scary. If that ever happens, you all are totally in for a million. Until then, I can offer brownies, hugs, movies, and ears to listen. Anytime you want them.
But no, seriously, thank you. I may very well take you up on that sometime. The ear thing, not the million dollar thing. Though I will totally take you up on that too, if you win.
Naturally, if I win, I'll be splitting that evenly with friends, and y'all are included. I think your dogs need blingy collars to wear for special occasions. Nemo especially, though how you would see it with all the FUR I am not certain. Maybe he could just have a tiara. He'd be a very cute princess.
One of my best friends in Seattle is putting the word out to her compassionate and animal loving friends. And a bunch of other friends from college who have lots of contacts in Seattle are doing the same. Hoping something will come of it.
Oops. I'ma tad tipsy and didn't go back far enough in my feed to the right post.
Ugh. Sorry. I hope things start to improve for you soon.
The other night when I couldn't sleep, I started thinking what I'd do if I won the lottery... One of those things was give you and. Sargon a million plus buy you health insurance with all the bells and whistles.
That's so hard. I know something of what you're going through, though mine seems to be less deep. Still- I went a few months barely accomplishing anything at all, and just being so TIRED all the time- tired of COPING.
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But I hate being afraid of everything. When the panic hits me, I know what it's like not to want to go to sleep because you fear what will happen while you're unconscious and what you might wake up to. It sucks and it's exhausting.
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Brownies? *grin*
But no, seriously, thank you. I may very well take you up on that sometime. The ear thing, not the million dollar thing. Though I will totally take you up on that too, if you win.
Naturally, if I win, I'll be splitting that evenly with friends, and y'all are included. I think your dogs need blingy collars to wear for special occasions. Nemo especially, though how you would see it with all the FUR I am not certain. Maybe he could just have a tiara. He'd be a very cute princess.
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Ugh. Sorry. I hope things start to improve for you soon.
The other night when I couldn't sleep, I started thinking what I'd do if I won the lottery... One of those things was give you and. Sargon a million plus buy you health insurance with all the bells and whistles.
*hugs*
I love you babe.
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Hugs and sympathy.
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