Comments | naamah_darling: Ow.

naamah_darling

Ow.

Jan 03, 2006 21:21

I went to help Dad go through Mom's clothes today. My sister's already been and weeded through for what she wanted, leaving me with all kinds of neat, pretty things. I agreed to come over later this week and help go through the medicine cabinet full of her vitamins and supplements, because it needs to be done, and I hate to think of him doing it ( Read more... )

mother, grief

Comments 56

genpyris January 4 2006, 17:15:55 UTC

I haven't said much up until now... I'm not good with condolences, but I do sympathize. I was with my parents when they helped clean out my grandmother's place. Simple things like a book she had loaned to me would have my throat tightening. And I'm dreading having to do the same for my parents.

pixxelpuss January 4 2006, 18:00:40 UTC

That's a very beautiful image. Out of horrible self-interest, I recommend that you write prose about this (which you may well find therapeutic), because I would like to read it.

That said, your mom sounds like a fantastic person.

Action always makes me feel better. It could be something horrible that I'm doing, but doing it instead of dwelling on my emotions is helpful.

commanderd January 4 2006, 19:02:11 UTC

I am sincerely sorry I haven't been around as much, no amount of excuses can make up for the fact that I've not been here for ya ( ... )

naamah_darling January 4 2006, 20:01:44 UTC

Oy vey. I'm sorry too. And I totally understand about being gone. *hugs*

commanderd January 4 2006, 20:04:49 UTC

Mutual comfort society meeting - I've brought the tea!

naamah_darling January 4 2006, 20:06:17 UTC

I'll bring scones! Orange or cinnamon?

Thread 12

kerrileigh January 4 2006, 19:21:11 UTC

Hugs hon!

beckyzoole January 4 2006, 19:55:09 UTC

When Dad died five years ago, we did this together with Mom. It was so hard. But I am very, very glad to have the things that were my Dad's. I wear his sweater, and feel as if he were hugging me. (I'm tearing up and sniffling now...)

Just one note: my sister the nurse, who has had hospice experience, flushed all remaining morphine tablets down the toilet within hours of Dad's death. She said that it was tempting to keep the expensive meds around in case of severe pain, but that they would be all too easy to overdose on. She said that it is normal for the surviving spouse to go through a suicidal phase, so she always rids a house of leftover narcotics immediately. Please keep that in mind when you go through the medicine cabinet.

And... hugs. It does suck.

naamah_darling January 4 2006, 20:08:32 UTC

It's very nice to have her things around. I can remember the best of her that way.

The hospice nurse went through all the meds with us that night, and got rid of anything even remotely entertaining.

Blast it.

I'll be keeping an eye on Dad, but I think he'll be okay. He's had a year and more to know this was coming. And I come from strong stock. Depression and suicide don't run on his side of the family.

kittyblue January 4 2006, 22:07:20 UTC

When my dad died, the coroner actually confiscated his meds while they were still wrapping the body for removal. Said that it was not only unsafe to leave them around, they'd had problems with people trying to sell the drugs. (Luckily, there isn't an especially lucrative market for heart medication or expired aspirin, but you never know...)