Ugh.

[naamah_darling]

There is no winning in this business.

I can either write porn-for-pay, and get paid what amounts to $10-$20 an hour for stories that are a guaranteed sell but do not generally excite me or test my creativity; or I can write "real" erotica, entertain myself a little more, and make maybe half that, and maybe gain some respect, if my stories sell; or

Comments

[bat_cheva]

Well, I freely admit that I do not understand what a panic attack is like because I haven't ever had one. I guess the closest I've ever been is when I was on the IV right before my Essure and that was drug induced. But I do know a little bit about Depression and people don't seem to get that either. :(

All I can do is say I'm sorry and offer hugs if they are appropriate and that I'm always willing to listen if that is appropriate as well.

[call_me_deb]

Panic attacks suck BECAUSE you can't rationalize them. Your head knows you're "safe" but all your freaky synapsis (sp?) are jumping all over your couches and no amount of excercise, vitamins or pegging Tom Cruise is going to make it better.

What ALSO sucks is that what works distracting the speed freaks in your head one time will probably not work the next because They.Have.Caught.On.To.Your.Shit. (although thinking about pegging TC does help...)

When I get them (and they don't come as often any more, maybe 3-4 big ones per year) I just hope I'll survive it.

So *****HUGS*****

Keep on fightin' the Power...

Deb

[dragovianknight]

On the writing front, have you ever pitched your fun to write swashbuckling porn to "romantica" publishers like Ellora's Cave or Loose Id? Mind you, I suggest these without knowing whether your porn would hit their squick meters or not but judging from half the crap excerpts I've read on those sites, it can't be that hard to get published.

The world needs more swashbuckling adventure porn, and cheese pulp space opera porn, is all I'm sayin'.

[naamah_darling]

Most of my work has one or more things they can't handle, rape (or really really intense ravishment), horny teenagers, and the occasional bout of "HA HA! YOU FUCKED YOUR SISTER!" being the worst of it.

I have been keeping an eye on Black Lace and Nexus, who are far more permissive as far as content. If I ever have a book that is suitable for them, off it goes.

[dragovianknight]

Ahh, that's too bad. I do agree their rules are too damn restrictive; I mean, really, who are they to dictate what happens between consenting adult twins? (Oops, there go my kinks, escaping into the wild again...)

[naamah_darling]

See? There ya go.

Twins . . . . mmmmmm.

[topknot]

I meant to ask you, have you ever considered writing for Wicked Words? They're part of the Black Lace series. My sister has quite a few pieces published in their anthologies.

[naamah_darling]

Really? Cool!

Can I ask what name she publishes under? I've probably read her!

Black Lace is shortlisted for my next erotica novel, if I ever finish it. Hot stuff.

[topknot]

She writes as Fiona Locke in the Black Lace series.

[naamah_darling]

Oh, jeepers, that sounds familiar. I'll have to hunt up my BL books and see! Awesome!

[edwarddain]

I found myself having almost exactly (minus the panic attack) thoughts regarding Jessica Alba during the filming.

[naamah_darling]

The really awful part is that she was a virgin when she started dating Michael Weatherly (whom I also find profoundly attractive). He fucking BROKE HER IN. Jesus. Some guys have all the luck.

Damn.

[edwarddain]

That would have been nice.

To say the least...

Damn.