Cat-Brides of Dracula

[naamah_darling]

Now.

Let me tell you about Mathurin.

I got him on a trip to Georgia when I was just barely fourteen. The friend I'd gone to see met me in the Burger King, and produced a squirming, fuzzy bundle from beneath her striped shirt.

She knew I loved cats, see, and knew I loved black cats even better.

Let me tell you, I have seen some ugly kittens.

Comments

I thank you.

[valeriana]

From the bottom of my twisted little black heart, for that story.

I really needed a laugh after my shitty day.

*wipes a tear* Thank you.

[maryavatar]

'The Eater of Heads' *dies*

I have one of those too. We had a mouse problem, and a friend of ours was pregnant and wanted to find a home for two of her cats. Perfect. Or so I thought.

The first morning after we got them, I woke to hear Spawn #2 screaming DEADMOUSEARGHMUMMYMOUSIE! at the top of her voice. Sure though, one mouse on the bathroom floor sans head. There was another one on the stairs. And in the kitchen... two of them, one headless, one with just the top of his head bitten off and his brain missing. Plus a pile of vomit, with eyes.

Yep, vomit with eyes. Makes you glad to be a cat owner, doesn't it?

[naamah_darling]

XD

I fucking love having cats!

*expires*

[maryavatar]

I love my cats, but vomit with eyes I could cheerfully live without.

I have two special corpse-disposal shovels. One indoor shovel, one outdoor. And Sniff usually eats the whole victim, the headless ones only turn up when he's already full and rolls along thinking 'Oh God, ate too much again. But there's always room for brains!'

[naamah_darling]

"There's always room for brains."

I like that.

[amy_leone]

I had a cat I found when I was two, and I had him until I was twenty-two. When he got old and rickety, I discovered that turkey- either deli or shredded lunchmeat- with a little salt would tempt him to eat when nothing else would.

[neadods]

My cubemates all want to know what the problem is since I've been making strangling noises of smothered hilarity ever since "Ia! Ia!"

[missysedai]

Demon Kitty!!

So glad to hear he's doing better.