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[mythicsagefire]

So someone in one of the autumn groups I belong to posted the following today:

Being a Christian is like being a pumpkin. God lifts you up, takes you in, and washes all the dirt off of you. He opens you up, touches you deep inside and scoops out all the yucky stuff -- including the seeds of doubt, hate, greed, etc. Then He carves you a new smiling

Comments

[sloanlamb]

I thought she was going to get to the 'carve out all the bad stuff', then:
god cuts me in half, sticks me in hell and makes a pie. Um, um gods make good pie!
Pass the whipped cream

[eibii]

Oh, the hammers I had to slam on my hands just to keep from quoting back with the Mannequin's monologue from Angels in America. I just figured to bust a gut instead and see if it'd show up on OTFWank. Glad I wasn't the only one rolling my eyes.

[flwyd]

He opens you up, touches you deep inside and scoops out all the yucky stuff -- including the seeds of doubt, hate, greed, etc.

Since pumpkins grow from pumpkin seeds, I guess that means that God's little miracle of birth consists of cramming as much doubt, hate, and greed as possible in a cute package. It's also interesting how they equate slimy with yucky with "should be removed."

The path of the true Christian is to end growth, have one's reproductive organs removed (not to mention the brain), and then sit grinning while monsters trapse back and forth loading up on refined sugar. The Christian then sits on the porch for a few weeks and slowly collapses, the inner light long extinghuished, and then tossed in the compost heap with the weeds and dry leaves. I didn't realize what a Christian allegory One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest was.

Life is like a simile. Life is a metaphor.

VegiTales

[jwh2o]

On the surface it seems so friendly, but underneath ... I wanna see the part where if you are a bad pumpkin they stuff more evil crud in and carve a frowny face.

And Thor always used to say that those huge mutated pumpkins they call "Jack-O-Lanterns" had been confused in the mind of the Halloween crowd with an actual pumpkin, and that people needed to be reminded that a pumpkin was really a food that for many people is (or was) a staple.

So this makes me think to expand the stupid metaphor that if christians are jack-o-lanterns, maybe the rest of us are more nutritious.

[werelyn]

This is your journal and you can say what you want, but I'd like you to consider one thing with regard to the "pumkin" post:

Metaphor.

Somehow I don't think they were meaning that stuff literally.

Just a thought-