I don't know whether this post over at bad_service actually happened. I actually don't care whether it actually happened. This is entertaining as all fuck ( Read more... )

Why do I have a fierce love of alternative country but I loathe and absolutely refuse to listen to mainstream country? I still can't figure this out.

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Now playing: Chitlin' Fooks - Too Good to Be Truehttp://foxytunes.com/artist/chitlin+

You know those warnings on the back of Q-tip boxes that say "do not insert into ear canal"? Apparently they put that there for a reason. Who knew ( Read more... )

As I was drifting off to sleep last night (okay, this morning), a random thought just popped into my head. Something like "you never would have thought of that in your ink of black dreams." The first part was hazy, but "in your ink of black dreams" was very distinct. It sounds all poetic and shit.

If, while walking home from the bus stop, you come across some unopened packets of Taco Bell hot sauce strewn about the sidewalk, do not pretend to be eight years old for three seconds and smash one with your foot; there is a possibility that the sauce will spurt out the opposite end from which you expected, covering one ankle with spicy condiments ( Read more... )

Pie.

A motel sign, advertising "COLOR TV and AIR CONDITIONING!"

Really, if the best you can offer is color TV and air conditioning, then I'm sorry, but your hotel sucks.

"Recording 503-631-6. If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again. If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator."

When I lived in Redland, if you left the phone off the hook for about a minute or two, you'd hear that message. And the woman pronounced "operator" with an accent on the third syllable: "operator."

I wish time-travel were possible.

Especially if the boulder is in a park:

"This boulder does not have any cultural, historical, or geographical significance whatsoever. It's just a really, really big fucking rock. We just put this plaque on here because people really seem to love reading plaques on huge rocks."