well, you know how I said I'd have good days and bad days? Well after a string of good days (a bit longer this time), saturday was a really really really bad day
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I felt mildly bad about ditching you guys to go to the bar, but I got to see fat drag queen lip-sync to 'Total Eclipse of the Heart' and got hit on by an attractive black woman and you didn't, so nyah.
Drinking doesn't make you forget anything except what you were doing the night you got drunk, and that's really not what you're aiming for, so I'd suggest knocking that idea out of your head.
And I'd also suggest NOT getting into another relationship for a long time. Not even a stupid little flingy relationship. Long time. Not doing one. I think you ought to focus on fixing up yourself (that's what your psychologist is for) because unless you're cool with yourself, your relationships just aren't going to work out. Even seemingly 'normal' people have problems and they're just going to be compounded with yours if you get involved. The end.
(I wouldn't give you advice if I didn't think it was good advice. plz to be heeding it. Love, your totes bestie.)
wahh thank you bestie. I love you. And I'm happy for you... it's not every day you get to be hit on by an attractive black woman AND see a fat drag queen lip-sync to Total Eclips of the Heart... omg :P
But yeah.. you're right. I'm just going to have fun with my friends and not worry about stupid flingy relationships either... It's just that before I felt ready for it, and then on the really bad days.. I guess I didn't feel so ready? Well even if I am ready, it's too unstable now anyways and I'd end up hurting some more people -_- so.. yeah.
So I guess this summer I'm just going to go out and have lots of fun and go to lots and lots of concerts because I really <3 concerts dearly.. And then come college time, well, we'll see I guess!
but yeah, day by day I'm starting to see what I'm like alone and without seth... and a lot of the time I will see things that I don't like, or things that could potentially turn me into something I don't like.. but I guess as long as I keep myself from becoming what I don't want to be, which is doable I suppose, then I'll be okay, and I'll stay myself. It's just weird when these impulses are a part of who I am... but at the same time it's bad for me to give into them... you know?
Comments 4
Drinking doesn't make you forget anything except what you were doing the night you got drunk, and that's really not what you're aiming for, so I'd suggest knocking that idea out of your head.
And I'd also suggest NOT getting into another relationship for a long time. Not even a stupid little flingy relationship. Long time. Not doing one. I think you ought to focus on fixing up yourself (that's what your psychologist is for) because unless you're cool with yourself, your relationships just aren't going to work out. Even seemingly 'normal' people have problems and they're just going to be compounded with yours if you get involved. The end.
(I wouldn't give you advice if I didn't think it was good advice. plz to be heeding it. Love, your totes bestie.)
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But yeah.. you're right. I'm just going to have fun with my friends and not worry about stupid flingy relationships either... It's just that before I felt ready for it, and then on the really bad days.. I guess I didn't feel so ready? Well even if I am ready, it's too unstable now anyways and I'd end up hurting some more people -_- so.. yeah.
So I guess this summer I'm just going to go out and have lots of fun and go to lots and lots of concerts because I really <3 concerts dearly.. And then come college time, well, we'll see I guess!
Reply
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I love youuu!
but yeah, day by day I'm starting to see what I'm like alone and without seth... and a lot of the time I will see things that I don't like, or things that could potentially turn me into something I don't like.. but I guess as long as I keep myself from becoming what I don't want to be, which is doable I suppose, then I'll be okay, and I'll stay myself.
It's just weird when these impulses are a part of who I am... but at the same time it's bad for me to give into them... you know?
Reply
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