I have just been SO overwhelmed lately. It's time for a lifestyle change and a change inside my heart and mind. I've spent too much time not being okay even though things are actually pretty okay. I haven't had the brain power to process everything and then it just all hit me at once yesterday. It was this big buildup, a crescendo, and now that ( Read more... )

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I realized today that I'm on the track to a too normal life. I hate the feeling that gives me. I don't want to be just another working American. I don't want a normal life. I started thinking "what's the point in that!? You live once and I won't spend my one time in a normal life". There has to be a way to fix this. But it might be a big big change ( Read more... )

Life Isnt so bad right now. I feel really motivated. I have Jared to thank for that. His work ethic and how he is always being productive inspired me. I've been taking a lot of shifts at starbucks. Today is the second day in a row that I've rolled out of bed At three am to come to work. I don't mind it. There is something really nice about the ( Read more... )

Ugh, still awake because i'm addicted to my blog and stayed up to finish another post. I can still taste film chemicals. It's making me feel sick to my stomache and head. I hope i don't die, i hear they're toxic.

Anyway, as long as i'm still alive i might as well clean up my mess i made and get ready for bed.

I've started my little blog early. I'm sure it will get better once i get a feel for how i want to do it. But i've got my first post that i did yesterday but just posted today. I'm so inspired. Go take a look, please? I'll still write in here but it's only going to be normal, not well written things. The new blog is going to have meaning and ( Read more... )

Today turned out pretty good. I was scared i was going to get a call from Shahrom and i was dreading it, but i didn't! So that was really good. I didn't do much but lay around. Made a super delicious diet coke cake and watched Split ends and other girly shows. Just relaxed. Just got done working out to ANTM, which was great. It was a really intense ( Read more... )

The best part about home
is that it will always be here.

Deep breaths are good.

I spend a lot of time trying to be there for everyone because i'm scared they'll leave my life if it doesn't seem like they'll get anything from me. Then i'd be even more alone. In reality, i just wish there was someone who would be there for me the way i am for everyone else.  i'm so let down by how uninvested my friends are when i'm in need of ( Read more... )