Lyrics seem to speak so much words, and I feel it's to late. How they talk about redemption? I just feel so empty now. The darkest part of me sings out to me and the allies I have known are gone. And the burden I am only weighs those who are just passing by. I want to be alone, but half of me screams for hope ( Read more... )

Why is it in death all the people come out of the wood works? I can't even look in the casket and stare. This person of flesh and perserves was once live, and I feel the tears burn my eyes. I look around as I make my speech about her, and all the venom in me can't come out. I want to say the bad things, but the moments we spent talking all ( Read more... )

Become empty. Cause life has not given you anything. Love little cause love was not there when you need it the most. I have lost everything with a simple life, and my soul is empty. Pray for death cause time will hopefully go by fast. Hate everything cause they don't reall care if you exist or not. Ignore everybody cause all they do is think ( Read more... )

Ugh took a nap and every time I wake up screaming. A demon so small tries to posses me made of wind and dust. I fight it constantly. I wish it would just go away. I guess the demon is me, and I'm doing something wrong. I have done all my errands for today. I have to hit the gym for just a small run and ab work out. I feel I'm leaving ( Read more... )

So I got acupuncture needle stuck at the bottom left back of my head. It seems all the drinking I did lately has made that spot tender. *sighs* I think tomorrow night I'm going to go to a bar for a drink. Right now drinking saki and waiting for laundry to dry. My mind is trying to think things through, and I feel I'm getting confused and ( Read more... )

I feel so lost. I feel so confused. I don't know why I'm feeling so tragic. I feel that I'm repeating the past, and I told myself I wouldn't do it again. It almost killed me with guilt, and I feel I have abandoned another person in my life. Maybe it's better that I stay alone in life ( Read more... )

Today I found out from a friend, that another friennd is brain dead. I don't know how to react. The are pulling the plug monday, and I feel I should feel regret or sadness. Yet the pain and confusion she caused me made me angry. I wish she would have told me what was going on rather then cry wolf all the time. I feel so confused. My mind ( Read more... )

So I'm trying to kill this sake, and kill the discontent that is gnawing at my mind, but the past is the only that is solid right now. Cause the future is such a blurr that solidarity is hardly what I would define it. I had a conversation with a class friend, and she said that I'll find the spark again ( Read more... )

I love my friends for their innocent and their dedication, but they do not know that I have lived this weary life so full and so drained. I know they offer me to go out with them to see a different hope, and sometimes I get hypnotized by their ideals. Sometimes I hope like all fools do ( Read more... )

Chores of the early morning light shines through the blinds. My mind is a blurr as the wine flickers and I'm drink still. A new friend comes to my life, and I admit things that I haven't spoken for along time. I'm glad for the change suddenly. I'm at a well being, but I'm expecting the girl that will break my heart ( Read more... )