The guilt on my chest
The last few weeks, well perhaps months this feeling of guilt has been chasing me around like crazy. The last 2 days it has been so bad that i feel like i can't breath or even live. It hurts and i dont know how to have an outlet for it. I have never been all that great of actually dealing with emotions. Yesterday i couldnt focus, i couldnt think
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You're not a loser. These emotions and the moments they take you over are your chances, your opportunities, to open up and get closer to the ones who love you. Izzy might not know how to go there anymore than you do, but I'm sure that's something you both want.
I'm all catching up on your blog months later.. haven't been on here in ages! It's nice to know what's up with you lately. I should give you a call this weekend. I've been working too much too. >.<
I hear you about it being easier to email shit. Anna and I have a journal we write in about hard things sometimes. It's been a little awkward to talk about how we talk about things, and how to find new better ways to communicate and go deeper, but I find it's well worth it. Our relationship is important to me and that's worth a little embarrassment. It's also weird how shit builds up when you're in a long term relationship. Habit can be a bitch, a cage, a trap. It's too easy to let things lie indefinitely.
xoxoxo
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