Epilogue: The Truth In Who We Are
Epilogue: The Truth In Who We Are
Tom's cell was across from Felix's. He appreciated that, and he knew Felix did, too. They were given two hours a day to visit, and Tom found a great deal of comfort sitting in the same cell. They talked about New Caprica; about the plans they'd had there, about the way they'd both envisioned the society they wanted to form, what they'd done wrong. They talked about the Fleet, and about the mutiny. Surprisingly, they never argued about the details of why they failed there. Funny that they could have that peace about their plans then, but not about New Caprica.
There was peace here in this cell, and the feeling of rest. They weren't alone, either. Krells was extremely lax with most of the mutineer prisoners as long as they behaved themselves, considering them closer to heroes than criminals, so they were both a part of that little society. Narcho, in particular, found his way over to Felix's cell frequently. Felix said that they had become good friends shortly after New Caprica, when it had been easier to be accepted by the Pegasus crew than Galactica's. Tom suspected there was more going on, having a lot to do with Louis Hoshi's frequent visits to the Astral Queen, and the relationship that was slowly being reconstructed. Felix didn't talk much about it, but Tom noticed that he smiled more often and more easily, and the light was returning to his eyes.
He had his own visitors, as well. At least one of Marissa, Asok, Danny, and Dale frequently hitched a ride when Hoshi came over to the Astral Queen. It surprised Tom a bit, and truthfully, touched him deeply. His previous experiences with imprisonment involved the world forgetting about him, at least on a personal level. Of course, this entire incarceration was different than anything he'd known before.
He was sitting with Felix and Noel and playing a half-hearted game of cards when the PA system blared to life. "Listen up," Krells said, his voice slightly distorted by the electronics. "We've got a call in from Galactica. Hera Agathon, the half-Cylon, half-human child, has been kidnapped by a Cylon agent, and Adama is calling for volunteers for a rescue mission. According to what we've been told, this is probably Galactica's last mission; the ship is falling apart, and they don't expect to return. It sounds like a suicide mission to me, but it also sounds like a chance to stick it to the Cylons. In an hour, I'm going to open the cells, and anyone who wants to volunteer can step on out. There's no reward… just sounds like if you're ready to die and want to go out fighting, here's your chance."
"What a speechmaker," Tom laughed.
"Nothing on yours, that’s for sure," Felix agreed. "Not that it matters."
Tom wasn't surprised. He'd known Felix would go. It was exactly the noble, idealistic type of mission that would appeal to Felix; no soul left behind.
He was a little surprised when Narcho lit up a cigarette. "Guess we should smoke 'em if we've got 'em, huh?"
"You're going?" Tom asked.
"Frak, yeah. Hera's just a kid. If the Cylons had Julie, I'd want to kill anyone who didn’t go after her." He looked up from his cards directly at Tom. "The big question is, are you going?"
Someday, I'm going to need a martyr, and on that day, I'll need you. Tom grinned. "Was there ever a question? Come on. We've got an hour to kill. Let's finish the game."
***
Kara docked the shuttle at the Hitei Kan, who'd reported they had two volunteers. She didn’t recognize the one, and she wasn't sure if she was surprised to see the other.
"Wasn't sure if you'd come with us, Sparky," she said, as Hoshi climbed into the Raptor. "Now that you and Gaeta have been making up. You've got something to live for."
Hoshi shrugged. "Got something to die for, too. I'm coming." He was still in his civilian clothing, and no longer clean shaven.
"Told you the beard would look good on you," Kara said smugly, unbuckling her straps and scooting over. "You want to fly us in? This time it really is the last time you're going to get the chance."
Hoshi grinned at her. "You'd better believe it."
***
Bill was not surprised when Racetrack was the first person off the Raptor from the Astral Queen, and he wasn't overly shocked at any of the others, either. Clean slate, genuine desire to save Hera, a chance to take something from the Cylons, idealism… the reasons for going were clear on each person's face. And he wasn't surprised at how few volunteers there were from the civilian ships, either. What did surprise him was when a Raptor came in from the Persephone, and Topher Brink climbed off.
"I'm not going," Topher said, holding up his hands as Bill approached. "Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely not going. It's just… I had an idea."
"What's your idea?" Bill asked.
Topher glanced over at where the prisoners from the Astral Queen were congregating. "Yeah, I kind of thought those three would go," he said. "Look, there's no time to make more Actives, but what I can do, if they want, is give them a sort of… boost."
"A boost?"
"You know how if you play a video game, you can drink a potion for extra dexterity or strength or whatever?" Bill looked at him blankly, and Topher sighed. "All right, I get it- you don't play video games. But the concept really isn't that hard. If they want, I can up their reaction times or reflexes or… or whatever. They'd still be themselves, just with a little something extra."
He didn't like it, but Bill realized that this time, it wasn't his choice. "Ask them," he said, grabbing Topher's arm and practically pushing him over to the Actives.
Narcho stepped back in what almost seemed like alarm. Racetrack looked interested when she saw Topher, and Gaeta's face remained completely neutral. Haltingly, Topher explained.
"Better reflexes and reaction time?" Racetrack said. "Sign me up. I'm willing to die for this, but damn, if I don't have to, or if I can take out more toasters when I go, I will."
"Over my dead body," Narcho said flatly.
"Your call," Topher said, shrugging.
"Mr. Gaeta," Bill said, before Gaeta could answer, "a word."
Gaeta looked at him curiously, but followed as Bill led him off a little ways. He was struggling a little less on his crutches, Bill noticed. It made this a little easier, because it made it easier to put the past few months out of his mind.
"Mr. Gaeta," Bill said, slowly unpinning the insignias from his collar, "myself, Colonel Tigh, and Captain Agathon are all going, as is Major Adama. I need someone that I can trust to lead this Fleet."
Gaeta paled, but then nodded resolutely. "All right," he said. "Put me in the chair. Make me someone you can trust."
"Before all this, I would have said that you already are. And in a lot of ways, that is still true." Bill closed his eyes for a moment. "What I need to know, Mr. Gaeta, is if you can treat our Cylon allies fairly, if you can work with them."
Gaeta inhaled. "It won't be easy, sir."
"I know. You'll have help." Gaeta looked at him quizzically. "I'm sending Hoshi with you. A good XO keeps an Admiral in line. Between the two of you, I know you'll do the right thing."
"Yes, sir."
Bill held out his hand, waiting patiently until Gaeta disengaged his own enough from the crutches to take the stars. "Good luck, Admiral Gaeta."
Gaeta managed to salute. It was awkward and nothing like the textbook salutes he used to snap off, but it was genuine, all the same. "Good luck, sir."
***
Get it as deep into the Colony as you can, and then set it off. Run, if you want. That's what Laura had said, but Tom saw it in her eyes. The real command was that he had better die. The nuke wouldn't take out all of the Cylons. It wouldn't even take out all of the massive structure that was the Colony. But it would take out a hell of a lot of Cylons, and it would vastly reduce the threat. Tom couldn't ask for more than that.
Seven marines helped him carry the nuke in, and Baltar had rigged it with a trigger that he said even a moron could operate. They worked their way through the twisting corridors, mechanical in structure but organic in nature. The Colony was an alien world, and it made the hairs on the back of Tom's neck stand up. It was really the last place he wanted to be. Thank the Gods it was the last place he was going to be.
"Are you sure about this?" Sharon asked. Tom was surprised that she had agreed to accompany him in this deep, but he knew that if they found Hera, she'd be gone. "You could trust the remote."
"No, I can't." Tom shook his head. "This is too important."
"But Roslin-"
"I always was good at blowing things up" Tom said with a grim smile. "This time, it might make a difference."
"I hope so," she said solemnly. She looked around, and he could see the anxiety in every line of her body. "This ought to be good." She gestured to the marines, who set the nuke down.
"Good luck finding her," he said.
"Thanks. Good luck to you, too."
"Thank you." Tom smiled. "Believe me, this is the right death for me. It's exactly what I would choose."
"Not to mention it will piss off Roslin and Adama if people have to hail you as a hero for destroying the worst of the Cylon threat," Sharon observed wryly.
"Well, I won't complain," Tom said. "You'd better go."
Sharon nodded. There was no sentimentality, and she didn't linger. She just gestured to the marines and took off, leaving Tom alone.
He set his watch.
Adama had said he'd know when to set the nuke off, but if he had to, do it earlier. Give the Fleet as much a chance as possible. But somehow, no one seemed to know he was down here in this lonely, empty corridor. He had a gun in his hand, but it sat quiet and unused.
The time ticked by.
He had meant what he'd said to Sharon, and he had absolutely no regrets. In fact, for the first time in years, his soul was at peace. He had no reservations, no regrets. This was what he was meant to do.
His walkie talkie sprang into life.
"Tom."
"Laura. Are they on board?"
"They are." She hesitated. "This is your last chance, Tom. Set the remote and run."
"You want to trust it will work that way? Or that no Cylons will find it?"
Silence. Then, "Thank you, Tom."
"It's the right thing to do."
"It is. I just wasn't sure you'd know it."
Tom smiled. "Of course I do, Laura. This is one time when 'right' and 'best' are actually the same thing."
"We're jumping in five, four, three, two…" he could hear someone else counting behind her, and then the walkie talkie went into static.
Silence.
Tom knelt down and entered the combination. He watched the numbers count down, and as it reached the end, he smiled.
This was his choice, his life.
Then there was only light.
***
Earth. It spread out below them, blue and glistening like a gem set on black velvet. Even from the observation deck of a broken battlestar, Helo could see the beauty. Hera clung to his neck, and Sharon smiled at him.
"Come on," Sharon said softly. "We're going to be late."
"All right." He handed Hera back to Sharon and picked up his cane, working slowly through the halls of Galactica. The halls were empty. "I know they need to decommission it and use it for whatever plan Sam and Galen came up with down on the planet," Helo said, "but it still seems wrong."
"It does," Sharon agreed. She set Hera down, and Hera walked between them, smiling and holding Sharon's hand. "But I suppose we'll get used to it. Especially once we're down there."
It was peaceful, although in a melancholy way, as they made their slow progress through the halls of Galactica. Helo felt like he could hear ghosts around him, whispering their good-byes. But as they passed an open storage locker, Helo frowned. That was one ghost he could do without.
"Sharon?"
"Mmm?"
"Do you know what happened to the parts for the imprint chair?"
Sharon's expression mirrored his. "I don't," she admitted. "I know they put the chair back together before the mission, to give Racetrack those amazing reflexes…" she trailed off for a moment, shaking her head. If Racetrack hadn’t accepted those alterations, she would probably be dead. But between Zarek's nuke and Racetrack's final shot, the Colony had been destroyed. "But I don't know what happened after that."
"Hopefully we'll never find out." It was all Helo could say. It was all he had time to say, as they were now on the hangar deck, and pilot of their Raptor was waving to them.
"How'd you pull this honor?" Helo asked as he drew closer. "Last Raptor out, Sparky?"
Hoshi grinned. "Had a passenger going up, too," he admitted. And for some reason, Helo wasn't at all surprised when he saw Gaeta standing beside Hoshi. "Go ahead," Hoshi said quietly. "Athena and I can load up."
"You just like being smug that you're cleared on a Raptor now," Gaeta said, rolling his eyes affectionately.
"Only for shuttle runs," Hoshi said, in a way that was meant to be dismissive but still glowed with pride. His face turned sad, though, and he touched the spot where his dogtags hung. Helo had seen the tags with the ring, and he knew that now Narcho's wings were added, as well. Hoshi turned to Sharon. "Mind if it's just us loading?" he asked. It was stiff and overly polite, but it was real.
Gaeta inclined his head to Helo, and started away from the Raptor. Helo followed, limping. As Gaeta realized what was happening, he stared for a long moment, and then began to laugh. At first, Helo didn't see the joke, but as they tried to get a little further, he couldn't help laughing as well. Soon the two of them were nearly doubled over, laughing until tears streamed down their faces.
"It shouldn't be this funny," Gaeta gasped.
"I know," Helo agreed. "But it is."
The laughter finally petered out, and Gaeta wiped his eyes. "How's Hera doing?" he asked awkwardly.
"Good," Helo said. "She still has nightmares, but she's doing good." He limped over to the wall, and then sat down. He looked up at Gaeta, and patted the floor beside him. Gaeta made a face and half-slid, half-squirmed down the wall to sit beside him.
"We're going to need help up."
"Yeah, well, my wife and your… what is Hoshi, anyway?"
"Fiancé, I guess," Gaeta said.
"Really? That's great."
"Thanks. Listen, I've got a lot to tell you." Gaeta's face turned very serious. "It's stuff I haven't ever told anyone, and… I don't know. I think if I told you and Sharon, maybe I could work through a lot of it. But the first part of it is I'm sorry."
"You're sorry?" Helo asked, just surprised that Gaeta was saying the words.
"I am. I put your family at risk. I did a lot of things that… I'm not sorry I did them, but I'm sorry that I really felt that I had to do them."
"I see." All the humor was gone now, from both of them, and Gaeta was really struggling to talk. Helo couldn't blame him; he was struggling to listen.
"Nothing bad was ever supposed to happen to Hera," Gaeta said, not looking at Helo. "I put her in that cell because I didn't want her separated from Sharon. Sharon needed to be locked away, and if she was separated from Hera, she would fight to get to her. I knew that. I know that doesn't change anything- it doesn't change what I did to you and Sharon and what I did before and after… but I want you to know that I never wanted to hurt Hera."
"I know," Helo said quietly. "You came to rescue her. That's the only way any of this makes sense. But what do you mean, what you did before?"
Gaeta didn’t look at him. "It was New Caprica. There was… there was an Eight…" He shook his head. "Look, it's probably better if I tell you about it with Sharon and Louis around, and no Hera. I kind of wanted to do it up here, because I thought maybe I could just leave it here, but I guess that was just symbolic anyway, you know?"
"Especially since Galactica's coming down to the ground. Come on. Let's get our other halves to get us to what feet we have left, and get down there ourselves." Helo frowned. "Hoshi won't kill us landing, now that Starbuck's gone off someplace and can't help him, will he?"
Gaeta shrugged. "Actually, his landings have improved a lot lately," he said. "Starbuck always did have a knack for instructing nuggets."
Helo braced his back against the wall, and by some miracle, managed to stand up. He leaned over and offered his hand to Gaeta.
"Everything's going to be all right," Gaeta said with a smirk, "right?"
"Right. Now that you're here."
"Do you trust me?" Gaeta asked.
"With my life," Helo answered honestly. He clasped Gaeta's hand and hauled him to standing. "Come on," he said, as they leaned on each other, trying to regain their balance, "let's go home."