building bomb shelters under your skin

[musesfool]

I can't stop listening to Daylight by Matt & Kim. It's a little gem of pure pop perfection and I can't get enough. Thank you to whoever it was I snagged it from (I feel like it was probably hackthis, since so much of the music I end up loving comes from her).

As a bonus, since I uploaded it for my niece, If I Can't Change Your Mind by Sugar, which is one

Comments

[maychorian]

Oh, I like your ramblies. Feel free to ramble any time. (Not that you need my permission.)

[musesfool]

hee! Thanks.

[sistermagpie]

It was frustrating when Sam's suffering was discounted because yeah, it's hard to compete with 40 years of hell. But absolutely he was in a bad place. It was just a place of his own making

[percysowner]

ut absolutely he was in a bad place. It was just a place of his own making.

I don't agree that it was a place of his own making. He didn't ask Dean to make the deal. He didn't ask Mary to sell him out. He never wanted the powers. The bad place was that he had resisted for 3 years using his powers and all it got him was a dead father and a dead brother. He absolutely without question refused to do Azazel's will in Cold Oak. He was willing to die and did in a fact die because of it. But Dean took that choice away from him. Then he doesn't use his powers because they are "wrong" to save Dean. He sees Dean dies day after day for 3 months, he lives 6 more months with Dean dead and then Dean dies and goes to Hell for the last time. Sam was doing bad things by his own choice, but he wasn't in a bad place by his own making. That was all thrust upon him. And to be fair, without Ruby there were strong indications that Sam would in fact of committed suicide.

[sistermagpie]

No, I just used a bad choice of words. I didn't mean "his own making" to imply he wasn't really put in a bad situation to begin with by Dean. I meant that where Dean was in physical hell Sam's hell was in his own head. He punished himself.

Once Dean is gone--and yes, that was something that happened as a direct result of Dean's own actions that he undertook against Sam's wishes--he sees the situation in a certain way and he can't just snap out of it when Dean comes back. From his perspective he has to do this, it's all up to him, this is the way things are, but the tragedy is that he's being manipulated, listening to the wrong people not just because they're so good at manipulation but because they're using his despair against him. It was a lot easier for Dean to question stuff he was being told by other people than for Sam to question what his own self was telling him to be true, and separate out what sounds like logic from his feelings of failure and helplessness imo.

[musesfool]

So for me I brushed off the addiction idea as psychosomatic anyway. It was all part of his 'magic feather' thing where he almost needed to think he was addicted when he was really just afraid of being without the power and therefore helpless.

I dunno. Those DTs looked pretty real to me, and clearly his craving is such that he stopped in the middle of a fight during "the Rapture" - in full view of both Dean and Castiel - and took a hit.

Regardless of the fact that he didn't need the blood for the power, he certainly felt like he needed it to function optimally, and that need physically manifested itself and clearly influenced his behavior, which is why the addiction storyline makes everything messier.

it's all about his bad psychological place.

I don't disagree - I just see the addiction as being ON TOP of that. Sam made all the decisions he made, but some of them were clearly in service of feeding his addiction (again, his behavior in "The Rapture"), and Ruby used that dependence to tie him to her, and alienate him from Dean.

[handful_ofdust]

It's amusing to me how even never being allowed to be in Sam's head this last season never kept me from sympathizing with him--Sam is Sam, proud and broken and terrible, a geek and a killer, a bleeding heart zealot who loves nothing on earth (or off it) so much as his brother. They'd have to go a whole lot further to make me disappointed in Sam, and I still don't think they'll ever make me hate him.;)

[tenebris]

Hi. I babble.

I keep trying to get Sam straight in my head, too. I know I have pretty much nothing but empathy for him--for both of them, really. It struck me last season that the first thing Dean wants to do is get back to Sam, and how quickly apparent it was that the two of them teaming back up was not the right thing to do. They are too co-dependent, too in each other's pockets, to stay away, but that four month break changed both of them radically, and those changes were such that they scratched and clawed and bit at each other trying to work out why they weren't fitting in the same way. I'd like to give Show credit in showing those domesticity moments as a foil to that, but I'm not sure if they thought about it that much

[hackthis]

That was me *raises hand*

It was in the same zip as the Brandtston and Sam & Ruby. I'm glad you're enjoying :)

[musesfool]

Thank you again! I am very glad I downloaded that mix!