FF: Learning to Fly - Misfortune of Warlike Men 1/2 (SGA - Sheppard/Weir)
Title: Learning to Fly - Misfortune of Warlike Men
Pairng: Sheppard/Weir
Rating: Definitely NC-17. (about damn time)
Spoilers: The Siege parts I-III
Warnings: This is another installment of my Sparky bdsm series. As always, it contains bdsm and femdom. If that squicks or offends, please don't read.
Fedback: Here, or at muppetmanda@livejournal.com
A/N: This series finally has a title - Learning to Fly - blame Tom Petty for the inspiration.
A/N2: Due to some computer problems and a little writer's block this took longer to get out than I wanted. Hope it's worth the wait!
Enjoy! ~ Manda
Atlantis had survived.
Rodney was finally asleep.
Ford was gone.
Teyla was at the gamma site, organizing the return of her people to Atlantis.
John was alive.
Tomorrow they left for Earth.
Elizabeth Weir had never been more afraid in her life.
When Elizabeth had first been assigned to lead the Atlantis expedition she had gone searching for every book, every reference, to the lost city, trying to glean as much information on the mythology and lore as possible. Plato’s account, while off by a few thousand years and entire galaxy, had been her starting place. It was a story of ancient cultures and epic battles, but only one line had ingrained itself into her memory. Only one line had resonated, creating an unspoken standard:
"And in a single day and night of misfortune all your warlike men in a body sank into the earth, and the island of Atlantis in like manner disappeared in the depths of the sea."
She thought she had been safe walking through the Stargate with the rather low-expectation of just keeping the city in one piece. She had no idea how difficult that would end up being, or how close she would come to destroying the mythic place herself. Now, as she stared out over the city from the balcony, her balcony, tears came unbidden to her eyes.
Tomorrow they left for Earth. She wasn't sure she would be coming back.
Technically, she had been relieved of command by Colonel Everett. She'd only taken over again after he'd been attacked by the Wraith, but that was no guaranty that she was going to stay in charge. No guaranty that Hammond and O’Neill wouldn’t take one look at her mission reports of near-misses and costly mistakes and show her to the door.
They’d lost so many people - almost lost the city - she couldn’t really blame them if they did.
They were going to fire her. There was no other possibility.
She could name them off, one by one, from the moment they arrived; all her mistakes and all the mistakes that had occurred under her command. Elizabeth had never been one to hide the truth, even from herself, so every decision, good or bad, had been in the data burst they had sent back to Earth. She didn't regret sending the message, but a part of her did regret that things had turned out as they had.
It had been sheer relief, and then annoyance, when Colonel Everett had come through the Stargate, ready to defend the city at all costs. Unfortunately, one of those costs had meant relieving her of duty. John's refusal to cooperate unless she was included had brought a grim sense of self-satisfaction. There was something to be said for being the only person John Sheppard listened to. God knew it had taken her long enough to get into that position.
Which was why she had known she was the only person who could stop him when he ran for the jumper bay.
It had only been two words, but she had imbued them with every ounce of authority she had managed to gain and be given over John.
"You can't."
"It's the only way, and you know it."
His eyes had been pleading, and in them she saw how far along on their journey they had come together. She had known then, at that very moment, that if she told him no, he would stay. But he had known there was no way she would give him that order, no matter how much she wanted to. He had only wanted her blessing, wanted to know that it was okay, and wanted her to know that he went freely - to save them all. In the end, she'd only been able to utter one heart breaking word. "Go."
She’d ordered him to his death, and had been ready to do it again.
Elizabeth had heard Rodney’s explanation of Einstein and Relativity more than a few times, but it hadn’t been until that moment she’d truly understood the concept. Time had slowed to a crawl as she watched the beacon of the Jumper fly closer and closer to the Wraith ship. Rodney’s words still echoed in her mind. His tone had been wounded, accusing. “You let Sheppard fly that Jumper?”
Rodney had the luxury of second-guessing.
She didn’t.
She had watched the screen flash, registering the destruction of the Hive ship, and felt something she hadn’t known was there rip apart inside of her. Oddly enough, hearing John’s voice minutes later, knowing he was alive, hadn’t put it back together again.
It was only after she’d seen him once more in one piece, and hugged him so tightly she’d confirmed to herself he wasn’t some sort of delusion, that she’d been able to breathe again without feeling a vice tighten around her chest. He’d been surprised by her actions, as he always seemed surprised whenever she offered some form of comfort, some form of physical contact, but in the end, he’d hugged her back, his emotions naked on his face for possibly the first time ever.
Elizabeth stared out into the night, feeling her chest tighten once more at the memory. Only a few hours and one trip through the Stargate stood between her and never seeing this city; that look on John’s face, again.
Only a few hours… And then it wouldn’t matter if the city had been destroyed or not. She’d likely never come back.
Her feet were moving, but she didn’t know why. All she could think of was the clock ticking down relentlessly, eating away her time left in the city like her own personal version of the self-destruct. When the timer ran out, reality would set in once more, and everything she’d known, everything she’d wanted for so long, would be completely and utterly out of her reach. She wasn’t prepared to let it silently slip through her fingers like the passing night.
End Part 1
Part 2