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Part the sixth
So if it's easy to date when my one-sided romance with BB began, it's harder to say exactly when it ended. You could say it was last night, when
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State of Play
tl;dr: I did learn from my past mistakes and I did not let some dumb boy ruin my holidays. In fact, I managed to pitch my expectations low enough that our one date was actually delightful. If that's all you were tuning in to find out about, congrats! Now you can go catch up on Hawkeey or whatever it is the kids are bingeing on these days. Or, if ( Read more... ) -
"Do you like men?" "No, but I'm attracted to them anyway."
So I'm not off this roller coaster yet, but at least the drops have become a bit less vertiginous.
Last Friday we chatted about mangoes and persimmons and I told him I'd text the next day about getting together. To avoid spoiling my nap, I waited until after 2 pm. It took him nearly four hours to get back to me (he took a nap, too), at which point I ( Read more... ) -
Bad night
Well, any hopes I had that yesterday's post would prove cathartic enough to help me move past where I'm currently stuck were sent packing at about 1:30 a.m. this morning when I woke from a brief fitful sleep and returned to obsessively churning the contents of my mind. It doesn't seem to matter how many times I tell myself "You can't brain yourself ( Read more... ) -
Grief post-mortem
So now for last weekend.
Friday night was the 5th anniversary of Monshu's death. I'd thought about getting together with my friend Mozhu or at least going to visit the scattering spot, but in the end I didn't feel the need for anything elaborate and simply burned some incense while I recited the Heart Sutra. The next morning, I reenacted what I did ( Read more... ) -
The story so far
So to explain the crisis I found myself in last Saturday, I think I need to go back a bit.
On Halloween, I met a boy.
It happened like this: My straight neighbours had a Halloween party on Halloween eve. After a couple hours of that, I decided to see what the scene was like at Touché. I figured some of my friends would be there, which they were, so I ( Read more... ) -
Not dead yet
Sorry if anyone was concerned but it seems that due to some password changes my Dreamwidth posts haven't been crossposting to LiveJournal. Not that I've made many posts, mind you, but it hasn't been an entire year! (Not including occasional me-only posts which are mostly related to linguistic projects of mine that aren't ready for primetime.)
I have ( Read more... ) -
Returned
So I guess the Autumnal Equinox is as good a time as any to reflect on what it means to be "back at work". My standard line when people ask is that it feels like being rehired for a job I used to have. In my case, WFH also happened to coincide with a couple interesting new initiatives that ended up taking up most of my time so I kind of blew off my ( Read more... ) -
Adiaŭ, Urso!
It's interesting how much my recent experiences have changed my attitude toward certain situations. It used to be when someone went into the hospital I would be anxiously but guardedly hopeful. "I know this looks bad, but it will probably be alright, won't it?" I'd lived through two miraculous recoveries in my 20s: first my mother flipping her car ( Read more... ) -
Alle Jahre wieder
I never know what to expect from Monshu's yortsayt. Sometimes I think about preemptively taking the day off, but with COVID this year I was worried that would just give me more time to mope and so I was better off working. But my body had other plans: whether because of the added anxiety of hosting the association's first virtual annual meeting or ( Read more... )