Comments | much_ado: finding friends amidst the Cult of Duality

much_ado

finding friends amidst the Cult of Duality

Jul 26, 2005 17:27

i have come to the conclusion that the people i am going to value most in my life, the people i will respect most, and work hardest to build lasting friendships with, are those who are working toward a high degree of self-awareness. they are the people who will understand their needs and wants (and the difference between the two), and who are brave ( Read more... )

introspection, relationships, needs & wants, wisdom, friends

Comments 18

galadrielsfire July 26 2005, 21:41:54 UTC

Holy crap! Do you have a direct feed to my brain or something? Every time you post something like this it's EXACTLY the conversation I've just had a day or so ago. VERY weird and wonderful. So answer me this...because I am one of those direct people that ask for what they want/need. When the request is NOT complied with, how do you proceed. You're saying here we must go into the situation predisposed to being ok with the response we'll receive, but in relationships it doesn't work that way. What if your asking for what you think you need for that relationship to be functional and the response is no. Then do we move onto decision making for that relationship as in should this relationship continue if the request can't be fulfilled? This is fascinating and important stuff. Essential for successful communication.

much_ado July 26 2005, 23:13:24 UTC

twins separated a t birth... consider the possibilities (and pick steve's drooling chin up off the floor while you're at it ;-)

When the request is NOT complied with, how do you proceed.that depends ( ... )

galadrielsfire July 27 2005, 02:15:49 UTC

You know I love you, right? I knew this already, but it helps to read it here. Thanks babe. SMOOCH!

Hi the_nita July 27 2005, 00:53:02 UTC

So answer me this...because I am one of those direct people that ask for what they want/need. When the request is NOT complied with, how do you proceed. Hello direct person, I'm another.*G ( ... )

crystal_diva July 26 2005, 21:55:35 UTC

As usual...your writing is insightful and on the mark.

blackorchid1 July 26 2005, 22:07:59 UTC

Maybe it was because I was indoctrinated in the strange beast known as the swinging community to learn how to give and take a "no" when that's what you need to do, but I managed to learn how to accept and give that fairly well a long time ago.

It's asking for what I want/need that I'm still working my way through.

make_your_move July 26 2005, 22:09:15 UTC

yeah, you've been looking in my brain too - part of the reason it's taken so long to answer your personal mail *argh* we've had discussions very similar to it 'being okay' to ask for things you want. now I have to work on "being invested in the answer I want" category.

freya46 July 26 2005, 22:33:39 UTC

Welcome to my world, darlin'. :-)

You know I love you, right? matthew_g July 27 2005, 03:55:03 UTC

I will quote from my latest email to my Aunt Judy...

"You let me know when you'd like to be back at the Tim Horton's
and I'll decide what I'd like to do. *grin* You cannot impose on me,
I won't let you. I promise."

A more liberating statement is hard to find. "You cannot impose on me, I won't let you." and I it is in my vocabulary because of you. :)