Comments | mssaskia: A recipe

mssaskia

A recipe

Mar 20, 2009 01:25

I wrote this 2-3 yrs ago and had posted it here at some point, but reposted someplace recently where all these people saw it that had never seen it before and I thought
( Meh. Might as well repost on LJ again in case anyone needs a larf )

goofy shit, food

Comments 9

kittygomeowr March 20 2009, 08:44:16 UTC

You know, if I could make my cooking half as entertaining as this, I'd never eat out again. As it is, I'm lazy and prefer to pay someone else to cook for me.

If you're in the right head space mssaskia March 20 2009, 17:42:41 UTC

You can giggle maniacally while you nuke a Hot Pocket and pretend the cheese is exploding guts. And when you're buttering toast, why not menace it a little with the knife? Do a fake stab at it here and there, then surprise it with your teefs. There it was, all worried about a freakin butter knife. Little did it know the horrible fate in store for it.

I snipped asparagus into bubbling tomato sauce last night and smirked evilly while it struggled and screamed. Its revenge was making my pee smell weird.

Re: If you're in the right head space kittygomeowr March 20 2009, 18:32:04 UTC

It is all about perspective. I'll have to try that next time. :)

jaybohmer March 20 2009, 14:26:09 UTC

I got as far as the bashed Garlic and had to stop. I was laughing too hard. I love it. I am so stealing this. With appropriate credit of course.

Don't just steal it mssaskia March 20 2009, 17:43:02 UTC

Get the ingredients and MAKE it. It's delicious.

morty_baby March 20 2009, 18:11:28 UTC

Ah-hahaha! That was ...beautiful *sob ( ... )

Cuuuuumin mssaskia March 22 2009, 16:36:06 UTC

I just bought a new bottle of it. Cumin always reminds me of a Northern Exposure episode where the doctor kid discovers who the Bigfoot is that's been stealing appliances: a semi-hermit named Adam who is making cumin-scented noodles. He insists the doctor stir them while he's doing something, then gives him a ton of shit for not stirring them right.

I can see how a hot sauce enema would marinate the innards nicely. I would soil myself in ecstacy, too. That all sounds delicious! I'll be looking at teenage boys a whole new way now.

invisiblegirl2 March 20 2009, 22:12:09 UTC

I LOVE THIS!! I think this should be a regular occurance in your journal. Maybe next time you will tackle meatloaf???? PLEASE??!

Ha mssaskia March 22 2009, 16:36:49 UTC

meatloaf. I put weird shit in my meatloaf. Like spinach. Will have a think on it. ; )