the shitstorm of '04
Lately I've been reflecting on some shit that went down in 2004 or so. At the time, I was part of an online roleplaying group. (Haven't I always?) The group's leader went and founded a second, very similar group, which was trying to co-operatively write a novel (or several) and get it/them published
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.... and for the record, it does sound pretty presumptuous of them to 'invite' you to copy-edit for them for free. But why did you accept that invitation, and why did you stick with the job for so long? You must have been getting something out of it that you valued - even if it was only the feeling of being 'part of the team'.
The brain remembers pain best, but it's often mistaken in sussing out what really caused the pain. For this reason, avoidance-reactions tend to expand until they include anything that was even vaguely associated with the original trauma. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has the vocabulary to define all this stuff, and the techniques to work on it.
Gibbering in a corner is a perfectly valid and usefully adaptive reaction, as long as nobody who'd be freaked out by it sees or hears you doing it.
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