LJ Idol: Trapped

[mscc6422]

I saw her from the corner of my eyes,
She'd been following me around for sometime now,
Started from the front door,
Until now, closed to the rooftop,
Her name was Abby,
She was sixteen, almost seventeen,
She was young and pretty and smart,
She was into music and reading and art,
All she wanted was to ask for forgiveness,
For once she lied to her mama,

Comments

[baxaphobia]

Wow! Just wowReally well done. I envy people who can write poetry.

[mscc6422]

Thank you... I'm glad you like it :)

[pixiebelle]

This is a pretty cool poem! Nice way to tell a story!

[mscc6422]

Thanks... I'm glad you like it. :)

[snarkerdoodle]

Wonderful format here -- the short line structure of a poem, but without really having the same feel. More like something you'd listen to, if that makes sense, like I could see someone telling a tale in my head. :)

[mscc6422]

Thank you, I'm glad you like it.
It's totally make sense, what you're saying and it was kind of my intention. Poem is the simplest way for me to tell the story, as in really telling like we're having conversation kind of way, so I'm glad you feel it too. :)

[alien_infinity]

Remember all the talk in movies about the white lights?
It wasn't there

I liked these lines a lot. :)

[mscc6422]

Thank you. I'm glad you like it. I was hoping to give an eerie message lol, I hope it's catching.

[lawchicky]

This was really great- I liked how you told a whole story through a poem.

[mscc6422]

Thank you :)