just_1_word | 10.3. Sacrifice
10.3. Sacrifice
Co-written with sexyinscrubs
[Follows THIS]
Aiden took Pat’s hand as he sat down beside his bed once again. He gave him a small smile and kissed his fingers. “We have to talk, sweetheart. I know that sounds scary and ominous, but we have to get a few things sorted out.”
Pat touched Aiden’s cheek and nodded. “I know. Doesn’t mean I’m not nervous,” he said quietly. He rested his head back against the pillow and watched Aiden for a few silent minutes. “I love you. And I’m so sorry for what I said, how I said it, how I made you feel. It was stupid, I know, but I hated you seeing me in such a useless mess. I was so angry that I got sick again and it had to ruin everything right when it was going perfectly. When you went to help me, it just all snapped in me. It was just like, fucking hell, we should be holed up in bed naked together and you’re here trying to help me with something as simple as doing up the buttons on my shirt. I’m just so sorry. I clearly haven’t accepted the illness as much as I thought I had. At least, not when it came to anything I’m rusty on, like relationships. Plus, and I’m not making excuses, but when I get sick like this, it’s not just physical symptoms. I get very angry, frustrated and depressed with a lot of things and I should have warned you. I just want you to know that it wasn’t you or us. That last thing I wanted to do was make you think I didn’t want this… us… you to take care of me.”
“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about,” Aiden admitted. He pulled his seat just a little closer to he could rest his elbows on the bed beside Pat’s legs. He started to rub Pat’s thigh softly. “It’s true. I was worried you didn’t want me to take care of you or that you didn’t think I’d be able to handle it. I was already scared I was going to fuck it up. But it’s okay. I’ve thought so much about it and I understand why you’re so angry and frustrated. I just think we can maybe be angry and frustrated together? I know it’s probably too soon to think about moving in together, but I want you to come and stay with me while you’re sick so I can take care of you. I’ve spoken to Lachlan and Tara, and they’ve offered to come stay with us for a little while until I can figure out what I need to do to make sure I don’t go making things worse for you. I just… I want you to be with me for this. I need to know this side of you so I can cope with it whenever it happens again in the future. I know it’s a long way from Princeton and I would come there, but I have this whole huge apartment to myself that is apparently really wheelchair friendly, according to Tara and I’m just trying to work out what the easiest thing for you would be.”
Pat started to get teary again, but he blinked it away with a nod as he bit down on his lip. He squeezed Aiden’s fingers, trying to convey how touched he was the best he could. “I should tell you that I’ve been planning on resigning from my job at Princeton Plainsboro. I need to take some time to focus on dealing with this and my job there is just too demanding. I’m too sick. There, I said it. I’ve been in denial all this time. I’m too sick to be working right now. When I sort myself out and can find some sort of pattern with all this, I can find another job. Princeton is… not that far away. I can visit there whenever I want,” he murmured with a tiny smile.
“Y-You mean you want to move in with me?” Aiden asked, stunned.
“I’ll stay with you and if things go okay, we can talk about what the next step should be,” Pat suggested. “I want you to have an out if it’s too much. We need to face facts that it just might be too much for you, darling. Especially with how committed you are to your job. Let’s take each day. Is that okay?”
Aiden smiled and kissed Pat’s hand again. “Better than okay. It’s perfect. Which leads me to the next thing. You’re going home tomorrow. For your birthday. Lachlan, Riley and Cameron have been operating behind your back and consulting with your doctor to get you an early discharge plan. You’ll be discharged into my care and we’ll bring you back each day to the Outpatients unit for your IV medication. You and I are going to Luke’s bar for a drink and some good music tomorrow night to celebrate. Lachlan was determined that you didn’t have your birthday in here.”
Pat stared in shock. “Really?” he gasped, putting his hand up to his mouth. “Y-You all did that for me? You want me to come stay with you so soon?”
“I’d take you home right this minute if I could, but you have to stick it out until tomorrow when the doctor will be here to sign the discharge papers. Then on Sunday, if you’re up to it, we’ll go to the Tab and Lachlan’s Karaoke comp for the MS fundraiser for a little while. Like you said, we’ll just take each day. Each hour if that’s what it comes to. If you aren’t feeling well, we’ll stay at home and watch a DVD. If you’re feeling okay, we’ll do what you feel up to.” Aiden shifted to sit up on the side of the bed and brushed Pat’s hair off his face. “We can do this,” he promised.
“What about your job?” Pat asked, feeling a wash of uncertainty sweep over him.
“My 2IC is holding the reigns until the end of January. Until then, I’ll only work with a select few clients who I’m in the middle of business with but I can mostly work from home with that. Joys of being my own boss. I meant it when I said I’m going to do everything I need to make this work, love. I just might not get it right the first time. Hell, I already feel like I’ve done everything possible to fuck it up, but if you can just bear with me?” Aiden asked. He tucked his hand against Pat’s hip and leaned him to give him a soft kiss.
Pat smiled against Aiden’s lips. “I think I can put up with you a little longer,” he joked and picked the kiss up with more hunger.
All muses referenced with permission
Word Count | 1,138
Co-written with sexyinscrubs
[Follows THIS]
Aiden took Pat’s hand as he sat down beside his bed once again. He gave him a small smile and kissed his fingers. “We have to talk, sweetheart. I know that sounds scary and ominous, but we have to get a few things sorted out.”
Pat touched Aiden’s cheek and nodded. “I know. Doesn’t mean I’m not nervous,” he said quietly. He rested his head back against the pillow and watched Aiden for a few silent minutes. “I love you. And I’m so sorry for what I said, how I said it, how I made you feel. It was stupid, I know, but I hated you seeing me in such a useless mess. I was so angry that I got sick again and it had to ruin everything right when it was going perfectly. When you went to help me, it just all snapped in me. It was just like, fucking hell, we should be holed up in bed naked together and you’re here trying to help me with something as simple as doing up the buttons on my shirt. I’m just so sorry. I clearly haven’t accepted the illness as much as I thought I had. At least, not when it came to anything I’m rusty on, like relationships. Plus, and I’m not making excuses, but when I get sick like this, it’s not just physical symptoms. I get very angry, frustrated and depressed with a lot of things and I should have warned you. I just want you to know that it wasn’t you or us. That last thing I wanted to do was make you think I didn’t want this… us… you to take care of me.”
“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about,” Aiden admitted. He pulled his seat just a little closer to he could rest his elbows on the bed beside Pat’s legs. He started to rub Pat’s thigh softly. “It’s true. I was worried you didn’t want me to take care of you or that you didn’t think I’d be able to handle it. I was already scared I was going to fuck it up. But it’s okay. I’ve thought so much about it and I understand why you’re so angry and frustrated. I just think we can maybe be angry and frustrated together? I know it’s probably too soon to think about moving in together, but I want you to come and stay with me while you’re sick so I can take care of you. I’ve spoken to Lachlan and Tara, and they’ve offered to come stay with us for a little while until I can figure out what I need to do to make sure I don’t go making things worse for you. I just… I want you to be with me for this. I need to know this side of you so I can cope with it whenever it happens again in the future. I know it’s a long way from Princeton and I would come there, but I have this whole huge apartment to myself that is apparently really wheelchair friendly, according to Tara and I’m just trying to work out what the easiest thing for you would be.”
Pat started to get teary again, but he blinked it away with a nod as he bit down on his lip. He squeezed Aiden’s fingers, trying to convey how touched he was the best he could. “I should tell you that I’ve been planning on resigning from my job at Princeton Plainsboro. I need to take some time to focus on dealing with this and my job there is just too demanding. I’m too sick. There, I said it. I’ve been in denial all this time. I’m too sick to be working right now. When I sort myself out and can find some sort of pattern with all this, I can find another job. Princeton is… not that far away. I can visit there whenever I want,” he murmured with a tiny smile.
“Y-You mean you want to move in with me?” Aiden asked, stunned.
“I’ll stay with you and if things go okay, we can talk about what the next step should be,” Pat suggested. “I want you to have an out if it’s too much. We need to face facts that it just might be too much for you, darling. Especially with how committed you are to your job. Let’s take each day. Is that okay?”
Aiden smiled and kissed Pat’s hand again. “Better than okay. It’s perfect. Which leads me to the next thing. You’re going home tomorrow. For your birthday. Lachlan, Riley and Cameron have been operating behind your back and consulting with your doctor to get you an early discharge plan. You’ll be discharged into my care and we’ll bring you back each day to the Outpatients unit for your IV medication. You and I are going to Luke’s bar for a drink and some good music tomorrow night to celebrate. Lachlan was determined that you didn’t have your birthday in here.”
Pat stared in shock. “Really?” he gasped, putting his hand up to his mouth. “Y-You all did that for me? You want me to come stay with you so soon?”
“I’d take you home right this minute if I could, but you have to stick it out until tomorrow when the doctor will be here to sign the discharge papers. Then on Sunday, if you’re up to it, we’ll go to the Tab and Lachlan’s Karaoke comp for the MS fundraiser for a little while. Like you said, we’ll just take each day. Each hour if that’s what it comes to. If you aren’t feeling well, we’ll stay at home and watch a DVD. If you’re feeling okay, we’ll do what you feel up to.” Aiden shifted to sit up on the side of the bed and brushed Pat’s hair off his face. “We can do this,” he promised.
“What about your job?” Pat asked, feeling a wash of uncertainty sweep over him.
“My 2IC is holding the reigns until the end of January. Until then, I’ll only work with a select few clients who I’m in the middle of business with but I can mostly work from home with that. Joys of being my own boss. I meant it when I said I’m going to do everything I need to make this work, love. I just might not get it right the first time. Hell, I already feel like I’ve done everything possible to fuck it up, but if you can just bear with me?” Aiden asked. He tucked his hand against Pat’s hip and leaned him to give him a soft kiss.
Pat smiled against Aiden’s lips. “I think I can put up with you a little longer,” he joked and picked the kiss up with more hunger.
All muses referenced with permission
Word Count | 1,138