Ive made a lot of stupid mistakes in my life, some of the stuff I wrote in here is one of the bigger ones.  All Ive done with this journal is hurt myself and someone I care about.  Im sorry ( Read more... )

I melted.  even after all this time.  I heard one word and melted.  A 3 minute conversation that I wish could have lasted all night.

what is wrong with me?  why am I still so confused?

I got asked if I believed in Santa.  All I could respond with was, I stopped believing in a lot of things a long time ago.

I want nothing more than to believe, even when I know its a lie.

Ive been awake for the past 39 hours.  I was at the baja shop for a good 33 of them straight.  its been crazy.  My internal clock is so messed up, its kinda funny.

I have so much to do before I go home thursday.  Baja, shopping, baja, Rachel, baja, Rachel, baja, home.  with random stuff inbetween.

Went to ann arbor for a about 3 days there.  it was ( Read more... )

2 hardest finals today.  Had to get an 85% or better on both.

I dont wanna talk about it.

Ive studied 12 hours yesterday and the day before, and plan to do at least that today, tomorrow and both days this weekend.  My mind isnt used to this much punishment.  It wants a break so bad, but I cant, I have to do really well so I dont get kicked out of college.  I have to.

I hate having problems I cant talk about to anyone.  Like some of them ( Read more... )

Im starting to think my adviser is right, maybe it is impossible for me to become an engineer.  I dont know if I can do this.  I keep trying to tell myself that I can do anything, but I believe it less and less with each failure.  Maybe Im really not cut out for this college ( Read more... )

my back hurts so bad.  I have to study, but I can't even focus cause its so bad.  I need to see a doctor I think, but I just dont have time.  This sucks ( Read more... )

Sorry I havent updated in ever (again) this week isnt looking good to say much anyway.  4 day long week, and 3 test.  Fun stuff ( Read more... )

I hate being so damn emo sometimes.

maybe I will learn, maybe it will get better, maybe Im lying to myself...