Fic: Destiny Always Finds You (6/?)
Title: Destiny Always Finds You
Author: mpregloveranon
Pairing: Jensen /Jared, Dean/Sam
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: RPS/SPN crossover AU, Mpreg, H/C, teen pregnancy, graphic birth, hurt!Dean, supportive!Jensen, supportive!Jared…
Disclaimer: I just own a kinky imagination. The characters belong to themselves OR to the CW, Kripke and whoever else rightfully is making money with them. No intentions to treat on anyone’s toes with this.
Summary: Jensen is driving home after working a long, exhausting shift at the ER. He just wants to spend a little quality time with Jared and then sleep but apparently destiny has something else in hand for him.
Without wanting to spoil anything, I just want to mention that the first scene was inspried by two different older prompts on the spnkink_meme. If anyone recognizes their prompt, thank you for the inspiration! :)
More special thanks go to trytofly5 for our talk that gave me the idea to try and write this crossover and, last but certainly not least, sexytexanjra! Thank you so much for discussing this fic with me and helping me editing it, Hon!
Hey everybody, I'm really sorry that I took me so to update this time but I'm having a really hard time concentrating on writing. Nevertheless I hope that you enjoy this new chapter and let me know what you think about it. Your awesome feedback is pretty much the only thing that keeps me going right now. ;)
Previous Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5
To say that the atmosphere during lunch was tense was an understatement. Both Jared and Dean had done their best to keep up small talk but it had become evident that they were running out of subjects really quickly, so they ended up wolfing down their pizzas to start watching a DVD.
The fact that Jensen still hadn’t joined them as the movie was coming closer to the end only increased Jared’s worry which sat heavily in the pit of his stomach. He felt terrible for getting mad at Jensen earlier and wanted to apologize to him but he didn’t want to rob him of some much needed sleep, so Jared would try to sit tight and wait for Jensen to come out of their bedroom and join him and Dean.
Taking a glance at the teen, Jared saw how he was nodding off and gently nudged his shoulder. “Hey, why don’t you go and take a nap? You look beat. We can watch the end of the movie another time.”
Dean smiled timidly but hoisted himself out of his seat. “Sounds good,” he admitted, suppressing a yawn. “I guess I’ll have an hour or two before Sean demands more food.”
“Yeah, give yourself a break while the little guy’s still asleep. I’ll grab a shower and might try to catch some sleep before dinner, too.” Jared smiled warmly and turned the DVD player and TV off as Dean nodded his goodbye and shuffled towards his room.
For a couple of moments Jared considered if he should take his shower in the guest bathroom in order to let Jensen sleep and not risk waking him but then the urge to make sure his lover was okay was too big.
As quietly as he could, Jared opened the bedroom door and slipped inside, glad that the curtains weren’t drawn and he wouldn’t have to navigate through the dark. He saw that Jensen was still sound asleep, stretched out in the middle of their bed and probably drooling into Jared’s pillow. Smiling at the serene picture, Jared grabbed a pair of fresh boxers from the drawer and went to take his shower.
*
Jensen woke up to the sound of the shower running. Still a bit sleepy he turned around to check the time on the alarm clock next to the bed, gaping when he realized that he had slept for several hours and missed lunch. He felt bad for the argument he had had with Jared and he could read his boyfriend well enough to know how much Jared was probably beating himself up after his little outburst. Wanting to smooth things out between them, Jensen stood up and walked over to the bathroom to join Jared in the shower.
“Jen?” the younger man’s voice cut through the sound of running water as soon as Jensen stepped into the bathroom, already stripped down to his boxer shorts.
“Yeah, it’s me. Would you mind if I come in?” Jensen asked tentatively, discarding his underwear as well.
The shower screen door was pushed open in invitation and Jensen could see Jared shift aside to make space for him, so he eagerly stepped into the shower.
“How’re you feeling?” Jared asked gently, flashing Jensen a loving smile. Then he remembered their last shared shower a few days ago and how he should already have seen that Jensen was hurting back then.
Sensing how his lover’s mood changed, the smile fading quickly and hazel eyes clouding with worry, Jensen nodded. “I’m better. Not okay but I think I’m getting there,” he tried to sound confident and leaned up to press a quick kiss to Jared’s lips. “How was your day?”
Jared snorted in amusement at the sudden change of subject. “You know that we could have this conversation outside of the shower, right?” The confused expression on Jensen’s face and the way his now wet hair was standing up in little spikes made him look absolutely adorable and Jared couldn’t help himself but lean down and capture his pouty lips in a sweet kiss. Reminding himself that he still wanted to apologize to Jensen, he pulled back again and locked eyes with his lover. “I’m sorry for snapping at you, Jen. I wasn’t mad at you but angry at myself because I should have realized how much you worried about…”
“Shhh…” Jensen held a finger to Jared’s lips to silence him. “It’s okay. I get why you reacted that way and… I guess we both made mistakes. Water under the bridge, right? No more secrets, Jay. I promise.”
The following silence was disrupted by Jensen’s stomach grumbling loudly and Jared grinned good-naturedly at the embarrassed blush high on his lover’s face but nodded solemnly. “Okay, Jen. Now let’s wash up quickly and get some food in you, Babe.” He pressed a kiss to his boyfriend’s mouth and grabbed the shower gel to lather him up.
*
Jensen started digging into his re-heated pizza like a starving man with Jared sitting across from him at the kitchen table, suspiciously silent for himself. “What’s up with the broody look, Jay?” the older man asked around a mouthful of pizza, the food clearly helping to cheer him up a little. His breakfast had consisted of two cups of black coffee and between his meltdown and the argument with Jared he hadn’t really found any time to eat anything substantial, yet.
“I’m not brooding,” Jared tried to defend himself, at the same time deepening the frown lines on his forehead and unintentionally contradicting himself.
“You just look like there’s something you want to talk about…” Jensen clarified, swallowing the food and looking around the room. “Where’s Dean, by the way?” He had been so caught up in his food and Jared that he hadn’t noticed that they were alone.
The way Jared lowered his gaze to the tabletop was a clear give away that his broody mood had something to do with the teen, so Jensen went on asking questions. “What happened? Is something wrong with him or the kid?” Now it was Jensen’s turn to frown because his lover’s stretched out silence was making him really nervous. There were many things he associated with Jared and silence wasn’t one of them, on the contrary Jared usually was able to hold up an entire conversation on his own without tiring or getting bored. This was weird.
“He… I caught him packing up some things… getting ready to bail…” Jared scratched the back of his neck in a nervous gesture, still not looking up at Jensen as he spoke.
“What? Why would he do that? Did he say something?” Confusion and concern were written all over Jensen’s face, the food momentarily forgotten and getting cold on his plate. He just couldn’t make sense of why Dean would have wanted to leave. They were all getting along pretty well, at least that was how Jensen had seen it.
Jared finally lifted his gaze, guilty eyes focusing on his lover’s face. “He heard us earlier… Thought we were having a fight and… that it was because of him and Sean…”
“Shit! I didn’t realize we were so loud. Have you talked to him, yet?”
There was genuine worry in Jensen’s eyes and Jared knew that his lover would jump up and run off to check on Dean if he didn’t get a satisfying answer to his last question. “Yeah, I talked to him and set things straight again. It’s all good now and he knows that he and Sean are welcome to stay as long as they want to,” Jared assured but looked a bit uneasy as he said it.
“Good…” Jensen nodded in agreement but then noticed how Jared was fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. “What exactly did you tell him, Jay?” he then asked, getting a bit nervous himself.
“I…” Hazel eyes were lowered back towards the tabletop. “I told him that we’ve been trying to have a baby for quite a long time and… and that that’s really taken its toll on you.” Jared finally forced himself to look up at his lover again, feeling guilty because they had just established that there wouldn’t be any more secrets between them.
Jensen gave his boyfriend a small smile when he saw the guilty frown on his face. “I’m glad you’ve talked to him, Jay,” he reassured in a soft voice. He had never talked about their problem to anyone besides Jared and wasn’t sure if he was able to have that conversation, so he was indeed relieved that Jared had talked to Dean about it.
“I didn’t know what else to tell him and you know I’m not a good liar, so I just…” Jared started rambling as if he hadn’t understood what Jensen had just said to him.
“Jay! Jay, did you even listen to me?” Jensen cut his lover off, laying a hand on his wrist to get his attention. “It’s okay. I think it’s good that you’ve told him the truth. I’m not sure that I could have done it and we can’t start lying to Dean if we want him to trust us.”
Finally the words sunk in and Jared’s shoulders relaxed visibly. “Yeah, you’re right. We can’t lie if we want him to open up to us and let us help him.” He gave Jensen a small, rueful smile because having revealed their secret without asking Jensen first still felt like betrayal to him.
“I really hope he’ll get comfortable enough to talk to us. He has issues, that much is obvious, but he seems to be bottling them all up and that’s not good for anyone.” The older man said contemplatively and looked up at his lover with misty eyes and a shy smile. “Guess that’s my epiphany for today.”
Jared smiled back at the man he loved and leaned over the table to give his a soft, loving kiss. He was about to say something after pulling back but then they heard muffled screaming coming from down the hall.
“Dean!” Jensen’s green eyes went wide with worry as he heard the distressed noises, not able to make out what Dean was saying but out of his chair and running down the hall towards the guest room within seconds to find out what was wrong. He didn’t even bother to knock, just bursting through the door and dashing to the teen’s bedside to help him.
Dean was still asleep but clearly caught in some kind of nightmare or flashback, thrashing around on the bed with the sheets tangled around his legs. “NO! Sammy!” Dean’s breathing was getting erratic and Jensen could see sweat breaking out on his temples. “No, no, no…”
Tentatively Jensen stretched out one arm to gently shake Dean’s shoulder and was surprised when the kid didn’t wake immediately like he’d done the other time that Jensen had needed to wake him from a nightmare. “Hey… Dean? Wake up, buddy,” he said loud enough to be heard over Dean’s own frantic calls.
“SAMMY!” the teen finally gasped, his eyes flying open as he woke up with a start.
“It’s me, Jensen,” the older man corrected in a calm and soothing voice, registering that Jared who had been standing in the doorway had left to give them some privacy. He gently carded his hand through Dean’s damp hair offering comfort to the clearly distressed young man. Jensen had expected that Dean would pull away as soon as his sleep muddled brain would register what was happening but he smiled in pleasant surprise when he felt the teen actually leaning into his touch. “You were dreaming. It’s okay, Dean.”
Dean’s heartbeat was still racing and he tried to take a few shuddering deep breaths to calm down again. He could feel Jensen wrapping an arm around his shoulders and pulling him close, obviously aware of how Dean was trembling, shaken by the nightmare. Usually he would have tried to wiggle out of the hug and pull himself together pretending that he was fine but right now it just felt too good to escape the gentle embrace. Closing his eyes, Dean took another deep and this time steadier breath.
“Shhh… It’s alright, I’ve got you,” Jensen murmured softly, relieved the see that Dean was indeed relaxing against him. He waited a few more minutes, gauging if he should say something or rather not but finally he took his chance and asked. “Do you want to talk about it? I usually want to get it off my chest when I have a nightmare and wake up Jay.” Jensen chuckled softly.
“I…” the teen started saying but then shook his head against Jensen’s shoulder. “It’s stupid… It was just a bad dream.”
Jensen kept carding his fingers through Dean’s hair, not sure if it was actually helping to comfort him but not willing to stop before he got any indication that he should cut it out. “It’s not stupid. Nightmares can really get to you, that’s nothing to be ashamed off.” Jensen was tempted to press a kiss to Dean’s temple but restrained himself, not wanting to scare him off. “If you want to talk about it, you know I’ll be right here,” he whispered instead.
There was absolute silence for a couple of minutes and Jensen didn’t dare to move because Dean was still a warm presence pressed against his side and it felt good. “Who’s Sammy?” he asked tentatively, praying that he wasn’t pushing his luck.
Dean stayed silent and still for a few more moments but when Jensen had already lost hope of getting any answer he finally muttered, “Just someone… from my past.”
It was a vague answer but Jensen still counted it as a victory because Dean had made the first step towards opening up and letting him in. Jensen’s mind was flooding with new questions. Was this Sammy maybe Sean’s other dad? If so where was he and what had happened to have Dean running away? In his dream the teen had cried out the other guy’s name and sounded scared, so Jensen was wondering if he was scared for this Sam or scared of him. “Did something happen to him? You sounded… worried…”
“Yes. No…” Dean shook his head desolately. “I don’t know… I just…”
Sensing that his question was upsetting the young man in his arms, Jensen tried to do some damage control before things got out of hand again. “Shhhh… It’s alright. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. Just know that I’m a good listener if you need one.” He felt a weak nod against his shoulder and smiled to himself. “Do you want to try to go back to sleep?”
Dean shrugged, before his shoulders slumped again.
“Want me to keep you some company for a while longer?” Jensen gently prodded and got a shy nod out of the teen. “Alright, let’s get into a more comfortable position,” he announced and started shifting around until he was leaning back against the headboard of the bed, pulling Dean with him, so that the teen was still leaning against his left side. “Is this okay?”
“Yeah…” A blush started to form on Dean’s face as he realized that he was still being held in a protective embrace by the older man. As embarrassing as that realization was he couldn’t bring himself to pull back from Jensen. Maybe he could blame it on his hormones that still seemed to be out of whack even after giving birth to Sean, which according to Jared was perfectly normal because his body would need some time to adjust to not being pregnant. Dean tried to ignore that nagging voice in the back of his mind telling him to man up. It had been just too long since he had been close to anyone, besides Sean of course, and Jensen’s innocent touch was enough to let Dean realize how starved for human closeness he really was.
Jensen kept carding his fingers through the short spikes of Dean’s hair, while searching for an adequate topic for small talk. “Jared told me that you heard our argument earlier…” he brought up the only thing that came to mind. Realizing how Dean stiffened uncomfortably in his arms, he went on quickly. “He told me that you wanted to leave and… I just wanted to say that I’m happy he found you in time and stopped you, Dean,” he assured in a soothing tone, rubbing his thumb over the nape of the teen’s neck. “I like having you… and Sean around, you know?”
“Jared told me about your… your problem…” Dean murmured in a small voice.
“I know. Jay told me he did. It all just became a bit too much and I freaked out this morning. That’s why Jay and I were arguing. I’m sorry if we made you feel uncomfortable,” Jensen continued to explain, hoping to ease Dean’s mind again.
It took Dean a few beats to reply to the apology. “I’m sorry… I wish I could help…” he whispered softly, realizing how true his words were and how he hadn’t felt this safe and welcome in a long time.
“Thanks.” Jensen hugged Dean closer, his voice sounding a bit congested all of a sudden.
Dean could only guess that the other man was as close to tears as he was but he didn’t dare to look up. He didn’t like to been vulnerable and certainly had never been someone to show his emotions openly, so he just subtly snuggled into Jensen’s side. “I know I can’t… can’t give Sean the life he… deserves to have… but I… I can’t give him up either.” Dean felt the first tears rolling down his cheeks and squeezed his eyes shut. “He doesn’t even know… about Sean…”
“Who? Sam?” Jensen tentatively prodded, rubbing circles between Dean’s shaking shoulders.
“Yeah… I couldn’t tell him… Should’ve protected him and not…” he broke off with a sob and sighed inwardly when he felt Jensen tighten his arms around him.
“It’ll be alright, Dean,” the older man assured soothingly and Dean believed him.
Chapter 7