(no subject)
This is clockworkclaws / thanatoast's fault!
Captain Fabulous was hungry.
AND WHEN HE WAS HUNGRY… … that meant he needed to be fed. IN CAPS.
”Yarrr!” he cried out pirately, “Jack Sparrow, set a course for McSkyKnights. I feel a hankerin’ for a McStormHawk Burger…”
”Sir, my name’s Eyeball!”
But he was drowned out by everyone else BREAKING OUT INTO SONG. Randomly. With pirate tophats.
Time passed. The Captain’s stomach was now growling loudly.
”SPARROW! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS? We should have gotten to McSkyKnights by now! This is so not faaaaabulous!”
”Sir…” said Eyeball quietly, “McSkyKnights was closed down when an inspector found Talons in the kitchens…”
”WHAT?! TALONS IN THE KITCHEN?” he made a disgusted face. “I can’t believe I ate there!”
”However… our soundtracker picked up a British accent nearby.”
”Clearly, it must be that pesky Sky Knight, Starling! After all, she’s the only person with a British accent.“
There was a brief pause.
”Captain Fabulous, sir? Did you hear that sound? It was as if thousands of Rex Guardians cried out in protest and posted in their livejournals!”
”…”
”Yer an odd one, Sparrow.”
”MY NAME IS EYEBALL!” and then he stalked off, to write in his Livejournal.
***
”Why the hell do you eat so slowly?!” demanded Starling, glaring up at Repton. He had an elaborate serviette and a plate in front of him. On the plate was Starling’s leg, neatly chopped off. There was no blood, however, because Storm Hawks was a children’s cartoon.
Repton ignored her, dipping his claws daintily in a cup of water. He adjusted his serviette, putting on a fancy French bib, and then put various condiments on his food. Taking a moment to savour the smell, he then began eating grotesquely, ripping apart the leg in his teeth. His mouth was open the whole time, and he made noises resembled “NAM NAM NAM”
And then suddenly CAPTAIN FABULOUS burst out of nowhere, fabulously riding a motorcycle. Instead of actually parking it, he sent it veering in a random direction and made a badass tripleflip in the air before neatly landing in front of the two.
Both held up signs of “10”.
Mysteriously, the signs disappeared, and Repton pointed dramatically at Captain Fabulous, bits of Starling’s leg flying from his mouth and fingers.
”YOUFF!” he cried, still with his mouth full. “HOO’R YOUFF?”
Captain Fabulous was about to kill him and take his booty, but at the sight of such grotesque table manners, he froze up. A tear began to roll down his eye.
”My boy… that was… … that was… SIMPLY FAAAAAAAAAAAABULOUS!”
Repton was about to kill him for being a recolour, and for trying to steal his food, but at being complimented so… so… FRUITILY… he felt his eyes growing misty. Still with his mouth open, (though by now there was no food left in it) he took a few steps towards the pirate captain, eyes sparkling.
”No one has ever complimented my table manners before… I… I … I THINK I’M IN LOVE.”
Somewhere nearby, Violinman started to play a romantic theme, but was quickly smacked by Ravess. “I DID NOT COME ON VACATION SO YOU COULD PLAY OTHER PEOPLE’S THEMES!” she shrieked, dragging him off.
NOW THE ROMANTIC MUSIC WAS PLAYED BY A MYSTERIOUS SAXAPHONE. It was actually Leugey playing it. He liked to be helpful.
They made out, passionately, and Starling made a disgusted noise. Neither of them noticed, after a moment breaking free of the kiss.
”That was simply FAAAABULOUS,” Repton stated, and then a second later they were making out again. Starling wasted no time. She took what was left of her leg and hobbled off into the sunset that had just appeared out of nowhere. Even though it was daytime.
His stomach forgotten, Captain Fabulous removed all his clothes and somehow managed to have sex with the other reptile. The author paid no attention whatsoever to how that worked, the important thing was that writing a lemon automatically guaranteed her LOTS OF REVIEWS.
The sexy saxaphone music had stopped, because now Leugey was taking pictures. And videos. He would, of course, sell them to those Wave Crashers for some extra cash. He grinned to himself, adjusting his pimp hat.
Both Repton and Captain Fabulous were never seen for the rest of the series, because they were too busy having sex.
AND THE AUTHOR GOT LOTS AND LOTS OF REVIEWS! Except she didn’t, because Repton/Captain Fabulous wasn’t a mainstream pairing.
The end!
RATED ARRR for hawt reptile lovin', PotC references, crack, and Starling getting her leg eaten. (The actual rating would be about PG-13)
THIS IS SHORT NOTICE CRACK!!!111
Serious Storm Hawks fanfiction coming eventually.
Captain Fabulous was hungry.
AND WHEN HE WAS HUNGRY… … that meant he needed to be fed. IN CAPS.
”Yarrr!” he cried out pirately, “Jack Sparrow, set a course for McSkyKnights. I feel a hankerin’ for a McStormHawk Burger…”
”Sir, my name’s Eyeball!”
But he was drowned out by everyone else BREAKING OUT INTO SONG. Randomly. With pirate tophats.
Time passed. The Captain’s stomach was now growling loudly.
”SPARROW! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS? We should have gotten to McSkyKnights by now! This is so not faaaaabulous!”
”Sir…” said Eyeball quietly, “McSkyKnights was closed down when an inspector found Talons in the kitchens…”
”WHAT?! TALONS IN THE KITCHEN?” he made a disgusted face. “I can’t believe I ate there!”
”However… our soundtracker picked up a British accent nearby.”
”Clearly, it must be that pesky Sky Knight, Starling! After all, she’s the only person with a British accent.“
There was a brief pause.
”Captain Fabulous, sir? Did you hear that sound? It was as if thousands of Rex Guardians cried out in protest and posted in their livejournals!”
”…”
”Yer an odd one, Sparrow.”
”MY NAME IS EYEBALL!” and then he stalked off, to write in his Livejournal.
***
”Why the hell do you eat so slowly?!” demanded Starling, glaring up at Repton. He had an elaborate serviette and a plate in front of him. On the plate was Starling’s leg, neatly chopped off. There was no blood, however, because Storm Hawks was a children’s cartoon.
Repton ignored her, dipping his claws daintily in a cup of water. He adjusted his serviette, putting on a fancy French bib, and then put various condiments on his food. Taking a moment to savour the smell, he then began eating grotesquely, ripping apart the leg in his teeth. His mouth was open the whole time, and he made noises resembled “NAM NAM NAM”
And then suddenly CAPTAIN FABULOUS burst out of nowhere, fabulously riding a motorcycle. Instead of actually parking it, he sent it veering in a random direction and made a badass tripleflip in the air before neatly landing in front of the two.
Both held up signs of “10”.
Mysteriously, the signs disappeared, and Repton pointed dramatically at Captain Fabulous, bits of Starling’s leg flying from his mouth and fingers.
”YOUFF!” he cried, still with his mouth full. “HOO’R YOUFF?”
Captain Fabulous was about to kill him and take his booty, but at the sight of such grotesque table manners, he froze up. A tear began to roll down his eye.
”My boy… that was… … that was… SIMPLY FAAAAAAAAAAAABULOUS!”
Repton was about to kill him for being a recolour, and for trying to steal his food, but at being complimented so… so… FRUITILY… he felt his eyes growing misty. Still with his mouth open, (though by now there was no food left in it) he took a few steps towards the pirate captain, eyes sparkling.
”No one has ever complimented my table manners before… I… I … I THINK I’M IN LOVE.”
Somewhere nearby, Violinman started to play a romantic theme, but was quickly smacked by Ravess. “I DID NOT COME ON VACATION SO YOU COULD PLAY OTHER PEOPLE’S THEMES!” she shrieked, dragging him off.
NOW THE ROMANTIC MUSIC WAS PLAYED BY A MYSTERIOUS SAXAPHONE. It was actually Leugey playing it. He liked to be helpful.
They made out, passionately, and Starling made a disgusted noise. Neither of them noticed, after a moment breaking free of the kiss.
”That was simply FAAAABULOUS,” Repton stated, and then a second later they were making out again. Starling wasted no time. She took what was left of her leg and hobbled off into the sunset that had just appeared out of nowhere. Even though it was daytime.
His stomach forgotten, Captain Fabulous removed all his clothes and somehow managed to have sex with the other reptile. The author paid no attention whatsoever to how that worked, the important thing was that writing a lemon automatically guaranteed her LOTS OF REVIEWS.
The sexy saxaphone music had stopped, because now Leugey was taking pictures. And videos. He would, of course, sell them to those Wave Crashers for some extra cash. He grinned to himself, adjusting his pimp hat.
Both Repton and Captain Fabulous were never seen for the rest of the series, because they were too busy having sex.
AND THE AUTHOR GOT LOTS AND LOTS OF REVIEWS! Except she didn’t, because Repton/Captain Fabulous wasn’t a mainstream pairing.
The end!
RATED ARRR for hawt reptile lovin', PotC references, crack, and Starling getting her leg eaten. (The actual rating would be about PG-13)
THIS IS SHORT NOTICE CRACK!!!111
Serious Storm Hawks fanfiction coming eventually.