sexting

[moschus]

I let it slip to a male friend that I thought Andrew Weiner is maybe a sex addict.

“Why?”   He immediately seemed on the defensive.  “Just because he was sexting?  Or because he sent a picture of his - nether regions - to this woman?”

Oh my god, I thought, looking at my friend with bemusement.  You have so totally done that.

“Not that

Comments

[karalianne]

I think that believing that 99% of all men cheat on their significant others is halfway (or maybe all the way) to also believing that "it's okay, he couldn't help himself, he's a man." (In regards to many things, from cheating to rape.)

I'm really not prepared to go down that road. Thankfully, I am pretty sure that 99% of the men I know/have known over my lifetime have not and will not cheat on their significant others.

[marlowe1]

Kind of depends on what you call cheating. Would participating in a polyamorous relationship be cheating? Does flirting constitute cheating? Kissing? And does forming a relationship count as cheating? Or prostitutes? Do they count?

I am not going to embrace either 99% as far as men cheating or not cheating. I know that when I was in a relationship that was winding down that I was tempted and actually kissed one girl but went no farther. I felt like I was cheating in a small way but I knew that I would feel worse cheating in a big way. And then on the other hand, there's my dad who was cheating on his wife when he got mom pregnant with me. It's the Don Draper mind-set of the man who has a wife for all the cooking and cleaning and whatever and goes out looking for other women for everything else, but it's still creepy.

[karalianne]

Polyamorous relationships aren't really cheating, if everyone involved is consenting. I mean, some people have "open relationships" where they see other people casually but are in committed relationships with one particular person. If both people in the committed relationship are truly okay with it, is it cheating? (I know of a woman - I don't know her personally, but I have read some things she has written about her life - who is a prostitute and is - or just got - married to a man who must be okay with her being a prostitute, because she seems to be continuing to work in that trade. I don't know if the men who hire her are cheating, but I guess she probably isn't if her husband is okay with it.)

I don't believe that 99% of men cheat on their partners any more than I believe that 99% of them are fully loyal to their partners (I just think I'm lucky in the men I know). I don't believe either case to be true of women, either.

But saying that almost all men cheat on their partners is like saying it's okay, and it isn't.

[moschus]

I think cheating is in the eye of the beholder. There's no blanket definition that serves every individual and/or every situation.

slight disagreement - although other facts might present themselves

[marlowe1]

Seems like Weiner was talking dirty in a mutual conversation. The Bill Maher/Jane Lynch reenactment of the transcript definitely makes it seem like they were encouraging each other to talk dirty and send dirty pictures. And she asked for the picture too.

Don't know if the picture ended up on a public forum or not, but as far as I can tell the anti-Weiner campaigns seemed very Orwellian. As far as I can tell it wasn't "some stranger" but a woman that he had formed a very questionable relationship with and who got off just as much as he did on sexting (or as we called it back in the day one-handed typing) and while that's a little creepy, it certainly doesn't say sex addiction since it doesn't seem like those conversations were ever supposed to be read by anyone besides the participants.

Re: slight disagreement - although other facts might present themselves

[moschus]

I meant stranger as in "person he didn't know very well". And yes, he sent it through Twitter, and it ended up on his public feed (which is how it got discovered). Clearly it was between consenting adults -- that's not the point

ancient wisdom...

[no_bull_steve]

"The love impulse in a man often reveals itself in terms of conflict

Re: ancient wisdom...

[queenceleste]

In my book *the* best screwball comedy ever!

[justinemuskfan]

“But you know what I think?” a girlfriend said to me over dinner at Spago the other night (I had the gnocchi, and it was awesome). “I think 99 percent of all men cheat on their significant others. Don’t you think that?”

“No,” I said.

What does this mean? Given the reference of:
“Why?” He immediately seemed on the defensive. “Just because he was sexting? Or because he sent a picture of his - nether regions - to this woman?”

Oh my god, I thought, looking at my friend with bemusement. You have so totally done that.