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[morningapproach]

I am depressed. I am struggling right now. I don't know why. I wish I had a specific reason - but I really don't. I keep trying to find a way to justify it. To explain to myself why I have no motivation. Why I don't want to go to school (and yes, my hyper and over half boy grade 2 class so contributes to not wanting to go to school). Why I only

Comments

[sandokai]

I think some people just have chronic low-grade depression that sometimes becomes more like medium or high-grade. I'm probably one of those people too-- it feels so normal until it gets really, really bad even though it isn't.

I don't think there is one holy grail that will end it forever, though a magic antidepressant might feel like one. I suppose it's a holistic thing-- sleep, eating healthily, exercise, cognitive-behavioral techniques. They say exercise often works as well as antidepressants.

I've realized I have to be vigilent though. I thought, "Oh I finally outgrew all that!" and then had my worst depressive phase ever...

[morningapproach]

What is cognitive behavioural therapy? I keep hearing it talked about but I'm not sure what it is.

[sandokai]

I'm more familiar with the cognitive part, which is systematically training your mind to have fewer cognitive distortions by coming to recognize and replace them.

For example, let's say you think in absolutes like "It's hopeless" or "I will never be able to do that." You learn to recognize that absolutes are a cognitive distortion and to replace them with thoughts like "Actually, if I keep trying I might be able to do it." or "I could try different methods and maybe I'll make it work." or even "If I do fail, that's okay. Everyone fails sometimes and I can learn from it."

Or let's say you make a lot of assumptions like "My friend didn't call me back--she doesn't like me." You learn to realize you're making assumptions so you can talk back to them like "There could be a lot of reasons she didn't call back. Maybe she's not feeling well or maybe she is having personal problems. It doesn't mean she desn't like me."

Etc.

The book "Feeling Good" by David Burns also teaches people to use journaling methods to follow this technique.

[morningapproach]

That is awesome! It sounds similar to Growth Mindset (which we encourage kids at school to think in).

[owlsarentaholes]

I don't have a lot to add (other than that I hope you feel better and soon!) but before my wedding, I was really, really worried about not having sex on our wedding night. Apparently, most/a lot of people don't ... and it was seriously weighing on my mind. So I don't think that's a strange thing to panic over (nor is scuba diving - I wouldn't even THINK about doing it, and I think people who do are insanely brave).

I'm glad you're taking care of yourself, and I hope you can get to the bottom of this and feel better soon.

[morningapproach]

Thanks <3

I made a super stupid mistake in our first dive in Mexico, I surfaced when I couldn't clear my mask and couldn't see. I panicked. And then my partner and I were separated from Rick and the guide. I had a complete panic attack that night, almost didn't go diving again. I still feel panicky thinking about it!

Rick and I have great (amazing, kinky, mind-blowing) sex when we have sex, but it sadly isn't as frequent as I would like thanks to our anxieties and schedules. So when we didn't have sex after the wedding, I was okay with that. But then we didn't have sex at the hotel the next night before leaving on our honeymoon, and I was upset. It wasn't rational, but it was there, and I couldn't stop it.

[acorn_love]

I'm wondering if it could be like the "let down" after the wedding. Not that your life is a let down, but because you had this shining goal for a while you were working towards: The Wedding. Getting everything ready, a really happy exciting day, fun stuff to do, the honeymoon, actually BEING married, all that is so exciting!! And now that is over, and maybe there isn't a Next Big Thing you are preparing for. It's just normal life right now. Which is totally fine! Normal life is great. But it could be a let down for your brain chemicals maybe!

[teacentral]

True depression a lot of times is biological. It could also be something else. Having a full physical (with all relevant blood tests) and trying some CBT may be helpful. sandokai recommended the "Feeling Good" book. My husband loves that book and always keeps it nearby. I really couldn't get into it, though I tried many times. Right now I'm reading "Feeling Good Together" (about relationships) by the same author, and I like it better, but of course it's a different book, on a different subject. A book that was recommended to me, and I browsed through it, though I didn't actually read it, is "Mind Over Mood", it covers about the same concepts as "FG", but it's much easier and more pleasant to read as far as I am concerned.

Are you getting enough rest? I know that I often feel depressed when I am simply tired or too busy. I also try to compensate by caffeine, which makes me maybe more productive, but overall makes me feel worse.

[rockingthemike]

seeing a therapist, really is the best first step you can take. wishing you wellness.