The Product of Boredom [2/?]
title: The Product of Boredom [2/?]
author: monicawoe
genre: gen
category: humor
rating: pg-13
word count: ~1200
summary: Part 2 in the Prank Wars round robin fic. A continuation of The Product of Boredom by mamapranayama - "Nobody messes with a man's 'magic fingers'..."
Banner by the talented likiel
Dean got out of the bed growling grumpily. Nobody should mess with a man's Magic Fingers -- that was just cruel.
He brushed his teeth angrily, got dressed angrily and sat down at the little table in the room glaring at Sam's empty bed. He was going to pay. Oh yes.
Dean spent hours thinking of the perfect act of retribution. He looked through Sam's duffel bag, searching for inspiration. He could cut the toes off of all of Sam's socks, or maybe spill oil on the pits of all of Sam's shirts. Dean sighed in frustration. Nothing clothing-related would do. Sam had disturbed Dean's sanctuary. Dean had to respond in kind. His eyes wandered across the motel room, searching, dismissing everything they came across as not good enough until finally they landed right back on the table he was sitting at. More precisely, on what was on the table -- Sam's laptop.
The laptop was Sam's prized possession. He did the bulk of his non-library research on it, and spent hours every night writing out facts about their case. Dean woke up the computer and felt an evil smile spread slowly across his face. He opened Sam's web browser and started looking at his bookmarks.
"Come on, Sammy." Dean groaned. "Enochian language database?! Seriously?" Dean overwrote the bookmark's URL with "bustyasianbeauties.com" and moved on to the next one. "Online Encyclopedia of Ancient Deities..." Dean threw his head back and made a loud snoring noise, then he looked back up and replaced the URL with "failblog.org". Dean grinned to himself and worked his way through all thirty-two of Sam's bookmarks. As an added bonus he replaced Sam's desktop picture -- some lame-ass redwood forest scene -- with a picture of Patrick Swayze from 'Roadhouse' (the part where he's practicing tai-chi out by the river).
Dean closed Sam's laptop again, satisfied, grabbed himself a beer, sat in the bed and watched TV until Sam came back. When the door opened, he had to fight back a grin.
"Hey Dean." Sam said, dropping his bag on his bed.
"How'd it go at the library?"
"Uh...pretty good I guess. I mean, I think I know what we're looking for, at any rate." Sam said and plopped down at the table.
"Oh yeah? What's that?" Dean forced his eyes to stay on the television, even though he desperately wanted to see every twitch of Sam's face when he saw his computer's new desktop picture.
Sam opened his laptop and answered, "Probably a lamia?"
"A llama?"
"No a --" Sam cocked his head to the side and eyed his computer screen.
Dean chuckled into his beer.
"-- lamia. I just want to check a few things online to be sure."
"Okay why don't you do that." Dean stifled another laugh and kept watching the screen.
Sam typed in silence for a minute. Then two minutes. Then another three minutes.
Dean turned to look at his brother, trying to figure out why he wasn't cursing at his newly improved bookmarks. "So...you find what you're looking for?"
"Yeah, it can't be a lamia. They never leave Greece. Guess I'm back to square one." Sam shut the computer and stood up. "I'm gonna go shower."
"But..." Dean stared at the closed laptop, trying to figure out what had gone wrong. Sam should have been furious, or at the very least highly annoyed.
When Sam walked past Dean he said, "First of all, I have my bookmarks saved in three different places. Second of all, I have different user logins set up on my laptop, Dean. I always leave it on yours when I go out." He turned and smirked at him, adding, "Don't mess with a man on his home turf."
Dean gaped at him.
Sam grabbed his towel and a change of clothes and went into the bathroom. "Nice desktop." he said, before closing the door.
"I'll home your...turf." Dean muttered.
-------------
The worst part of it all, Dean mused, was that Sam didn't even prank him back. Like the whole computer sabotage had been so ineffective it didn't even deserve a reaction. That hurt. Luckily, Dean wasn't one to give up easily.
When Sam went out later that day to grab dinner and stop by a local college, Dean sat back down at the table, opened Sam's laptop, and went to work.
Sam didn't get home until an hour and a half later.
"Pizza?" Dean asked when he saw the box Sam was holding.
"Half pepperoni, half mushroom. That cool with you?" Sam put the pizza box on his bed and stripped out of his jacket.
Dean shrugged, "Yeah pizza's fine. It's just the third time we've had pizza this week."
"Well, there aren't that many fine dining options around here, Dean. As soon as we figure out this case we can take care of it and hit the road." Sam grabbed a slice of mushroom pizza and sat at the table.
"What'd you learn from Professor Hoggensprossen?" Dean hopped out of his bed, took two slices of pepperoni pizza, stacked them on top of each other and took a bite.
"Professor Haberstrom was extremely helpful actually. She knew all of the local legends, and one of them -- one of the oldest ones that's just become popular again talks about a huge water serpent that -- get this -- travels from one body of water to another via the sewers." Sam flipped open his laptop and added, "I just want to check the blueprints for the water waste management system -- " Sam furrowed his brow. "What the hell?"
"What's wrong?" Dean asked.
"Nothing." Sam snapped, "I think my computer froze or...something." Sam's button clicks became more and more agitated and he started hitting various keys on his keyboard. "Shit."
Dean walked over to Sam's computer, hit two keys and closed the window he'd had open on Sam's computer -- a perfect screenshot of his desktop.
Sam glared at him, but said nothing.
"Thanks for the pizza, Sammy." Dean said and pulled out his flask to take a celebratory swig.
Sam folded his arms over his chest and kept glaring at Dean.
Dean spit out the disgustingly bitter liquid in an arc that nearly hit the low hanging, dented ceiling lamp, and yelled, "Dammit!" He ran over to the sink and rinsed his mouth out with water until the taste started to fade. "What the hell was that?"
"Hydrogen peroxide and water. Not your thing huh?" Sam smirked.
"Bitch!"
"You touched my computer. More than once. You put Patrick Swayze on my computer."
"You should be honored that I put Swayze on your computer! 'Roadhouse' is an awesome movie!"
"Whatever." Sam scoffed, "Quit touching my stuff."
Dean held out his flask and shook it at Sam, "Quit touching my stuff!"
Sam stood up and walked to the pizza box on his bed. He took another slice of mushroom and a slice of pepperoni, which he handed to Dean saying, "Truce? Just for tonight? I'm tired, man."
"For tonight." Dean agreed, accepting the meat-covered peace offering. "Just for tonight."
author: monicawoe
genre: gen
category: humor
rating: pg-13
word count: ~1200
summary: Part 2 in the Prank Wars round robin fic. A continuation of The Product of Boredom by mamapranayama - "Nobody messes with a man's 'magic fingers'..."
Banner by the talented likiel
Dean got out of the bed growling grumpily. Nobody should mess with a man's Magic Fingers -- that was just cruel.
He brushed his teeth angrily, got dressed angrily and sat down at the little table in the room glaring at Sam's empty bed. He was going to pay. Oh yes.
Dean spent hours thinking of the perfect act of retribution. He looked through Sam's duffel bag, searching for inspiration. He could cut the toes off of all of Sam's socks, or maybe spill oil on the pits of all of Sam's shirts. Dean sighed in frustration. Nothing clothing-related would do. Sam had disturbed Dean's sanctuary. Dean had to respond in kind. His eyes wandered across the motel room, searching, dismissing everything they came across as not good enough until finally they landed right back on the table he was sitting at. More precisely, on what was on the table -- Sam's laptop.
The laptop was Sam's prized possession. He did the bulk of his non-library research on it, and spent hours every night writing out facts about their case. Dean woke up the computer and felt an evil smile spread slowly across his face. He opened Sam's web browser and started looking at his bookmarks.
"Come on, Sammy." Dean groaned. "Enochian language database?! Seriously?" Dean overwrote the bookmark's URL with "bustyasianbeauties.com" and moved on to the next one. "Online Encyclopedia of Ancient Deities..." Dean threw his head back and made a loud snoring noise, then he looked back up and replaced the URL with "failblog.org". Dean grinned to himself and worked his way through all thirty-two of Sam's bookmarks. As an added bonus he replaced Sam's desktop picture -- some lame-ass redwood forest scene -- with a picture of Patrick Swayze from 'Roadhouse' (the part where he's practicing tai-chi out by the river).
Dean closed Sam's laptop again, satisfied, grabbed himself a beer, sat in the bed and watched TV until Sam came back. When the door opened, he had to fight back a grin.
"Hey Dean." Sam said, dropping his bag on his bed.
"How'd it go at the library?"
"Uh...pretty good I guess. I mean, I think I know what we're looking for, at any rate." Sam said and plopped down at the table.
"Oh yeah? What's that?" Dean forced his eyes to stay on the television, even though he desperately wanted to see every twitch of Sam's face when he saw his computer's new desktop picture.
Sam opened his laptop and answered, "Probably a lamia?"
"A llama?"
"No a --" Sam cocked his head to the side and eyed his computer screen.
Dean chuckled into his beer.
"-- lamia. I just want to check a few things online to be sure."
"Okay why don't you do that." Dean stifled another laugh and kept watching the screen.
Sam typed in silence for a minute. Then two minutes. Then another three minutes.
Dean turned to look at his brother, trying to figure out why he wasn't cursing at his newly improved bookmarks. "So...you find what you're looking for?"
"Yeah, it can't be a lamia. They never leave Greece. Guess I'm back to square one." Sam shut the computer and stood up. "I'm gonna go shower."
"But..." Dean stared at the closed laptop, trying to figure out what had gone wrong. Sam should have been furious, or at the very least highly annoyed.
When Sam walked past Dean he said, "First of all, I have my bookmarks saved in three different places. Second of all, I have different user logins set up on my laptop, Dean. I always leave it on yours when I go out." He turned and smirked at him, adding, "Don't mess with a man on his home turf."
Dean gaped at him.
Sam grabbed his towel and a change of clothes and went into the bathroom. "Nice desktop." he said, before closing the door.
"I'll home your...turf." Dean muttered.
-------------
The worst part of it all, Dean mused, was that Sam didn't even prank him back. Like the whole computer sabotage had been so ineffective it didn't even deserve a reaction. That hurt. Luckily, Dean wasn't one to give up easily.
When Sam went out later that day to grab dinner and stop by a local college, Dean sat back down at the table, opened Sam's laptop, and went to work.
Sam didn't get home until an hour and a half later.
"Pizza?" Dean asked when he saw the box Sam was holding.
"Half pepperoni, half mushroom. That cool with you?" Sam put the pizza box on his bed and stripped out of his jacket.
Dean shrugged, "Yeah pizza's fine. It's just the third time we've had pizza this week."
"Well, there aren't that many fine dining options around here, Dean. As soon as we figure out this case we can take care of it and hit the road." Sam grabbed a slice of mushroom pizza and sat at the table.
"What'd you learn from Professor Hoggensprossen?" Dean hopped out of his bed, took two slices of pepperoni pizza, stacked them on top of each other and took a bite.
"Professor Haberstrom was extremely helpful actually. She knew all of the local legends, and one of them -- one of the oldest ones that's just become popular again talks about a huge water serpent that -- get this -- travels from one body of water to another via the sewers." Sam flipped open his laptop and added, "I just want to check the blueprints for the water waste management system -- " Sam furrowed his brow. "What the hell?"
"What's wrong?" Dean asked.
"Nothing." Sam snapped, "I think my computer froze or...something." Sam's button clicks became more and more agitated and he started hitting various keys on his keyboard. "Shit."
Dean walked over to Sam's computer, hit two keys and closed the window he'd had open on Sam's computer -- a perfect screenshot of his desktop.
Sam glared at him, but said nothing.
"Thanks for the pizza, Sammy." Dean said and pulled out his flask to take a celebratory swig.
Sam folded his arms over his chest and kept glaring at Dean.
Dean spit out the disgustingly bitter liquid in an arc that nearly hit the low hanging, dented ceiling lamp, and yelled, "Dammit!" He ran over to the sink and rinsed his mouth out with water until the taste started to fade. "What the hell was that?"
"Hydrogen peroxide and water. Not your thing huh?" Sam smirked.
"Bitch!"
"You touched my computer. More than once. You put Patrick Swayze on my computer."
"You should be honored that I put Swayze on your computer! 'Roadhouse' is an awesome movie!"
"Whatever." Sam scoffed, "Quit touching my stuff."
Dean held out his flask and shook it at Sam, "Quit touching my stuff!"
Sam stood up and walked to the pizza box on his bed. He took another slice of mushroom and a slice of pepperoni, which he handed to Dean saying, "Truce? Just for tonight? I'm tired, man."
"For tonight." Dean agreed, accepting the meat-covered peace offering. "Just for tonight."