Why Do I Bother?

[monarch_the]

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I haven't left my room yet because I'm afraid I might find a bunch of passed-out naked people and I don't think my blood pressure could take that right now. So much went wrong with that "party" I don't even know where to begin, so I'll sum it up:

Eggnog, necromancer, molested, tranq, jumped, black eye, I want Limb to be eviscerated

Comments

[dramamancer]

It was a gift for the bedroom! You didn't have to drink it at the party...

[monarch_the]

You... You don't get to talk. Because you were too hopped up on happy juice to tell me it was full of PHERoMONES before you told me to DRINK IT, I was freaking assaulted.

Oh, and Lawyer-Guy sends his love. *sneer*

[monarch_the]

Piss off.

[monarch_the]

...

...Just don't talk about it again. EVER.

It was a spell, you didn't mean it, go bake something. *shifty eyes*

[immasuperhero]

... hahaha what? Clearly I left way too soon!

[monarch_the]

No, no you left just in time. The freaking necromancer thought it would be funny to get me a bottle of "Love Potion No. 9" and I ended up being molested by a mob.

[monarch_the]

... I said I don't have a fax, and I don't have a return address for snail mail. Do you want me to drop this stuff off or not? You could always send over one of your lackeys to get it, the Cocoon'll probably still be here for a day. Or two. Reminds me, still have to get it scanned for tracers before we take off again.

[monarch_the]

...right now? It's late, but... you know, whatever.

I see any more than one guy and you're going to be short some employees.

[monarch_the]

My home is on sale on ebay to a guy who's apparently gay for me. Kinda wishing you had killed me right now.

[monarch_the]

Always knew I could count on you, Samson.