the anxiousness was there and it was anything but not wonderful with my hands over the keyboards with a slight tremble and a restless leg as possibilities are opening and then closing on me and everything seems okay for a little while. then everything is bad and everything hurts and i'm living vicariously through their sadness. i couldn't look them ( Read more... )

one of my favorite things is eight and a half minutes into 'east hastings' when they start singing the impending melody.

i really miss the florida diy scene circa 2002-2005. so many amazing times when i'd look forward to being in a car for several hours, meeting new people and seeing great shows. everything was exciting. i carried a camera to every show. now look at us. all dressed la mode du jour, blacking out for tomorrow. the world hasn't ended. it's like ( Read more... )

i've stopped caring about a lot of things. that needs to change.

"i wish i had more solid friendships with people."

this.

influence is readily apparent but ideas are not progressing as rapidly as i'd like. it feels like i'm doing nothing but i'm spending a lot of time thinking. i hope i will have a lot of new stuff to say soon. wish i could say the same about new things to show, but that's harder without a studio. hope you're well.

it seems the weather is getting nicer.

i used to not like these days, thinking of them with dread and spending the days surrounding them languishing in what could be despondence but really isn't. today feels different, it just feels like an ordinary day. happy birthday.

i do not go to sleep until the sunrise.

there are days when i'm forced into some nostalgic trap and can't escape the inevitable sadness that consumes me. that shouldn't happen. things can be better. friends should be there and i'm glad you were. everything can be better as long as we try. let's try. let's do all the things we shouldn't be scared to do. i want to remember what it's like ( Read more... )