Pirates of the Caribbean 2: a parody

[mollyringwraith]

Just last week I was commenting to naill_renfro that I didn't feel much inspired to this (which he was claiming he didn't either), but then I did it anyway. Ah well. Don't expect much.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Booteh!
(A condensed version of Dead Man's ChestBy Molly J. Ringwraith

Comments

[ithildyn]

Hooray! It all makes so much sense now. Well, no, not really, but... why is the rum gone?

I'm just hoping that #3 has more Norrington in all his scraggly hotness. Is POTC a banquet of eye candy or what?

Thank you for writing and for sharing.

[mollyringwraith]

It was at least eye candy, yes. And I am sure we're not done with Norrington!

[kali_kali]

Hee, I love it! Especially good to read right now, being as I just finished watching the movie on my newly-acquired DVD just prior to sitting down here ;)

These be my favourite parts, because they are oh-so-true as the movie went:

ELIZABETH: [writhing in the sun] I cannot *believe* I'm still a virgin.

FEMALE AUDIENCE MEMBERS: Ahem. Miss Knightley. By snogging both Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp in a single movie, you are officially in violation of the Rules of Fairness in the Universe. I challenge you to a game of complicated Yahtzee, in which, should you lose, you must hand over your man-snogging rights to the rest of us.

[kalquessa]

Ditto on the Rules of Fairness. I mean really.

[mollyringwraith]

The sexual tension and the killing of innocents were making me wonder whether this was really a good Disney children's movie or not. At least it's fun for us older pervs. :)

[kali_kali]

Oh, absolutely ;) I think they sort of slid some things in there as a sort of nod to their older viewers. With the whole scene of Will and Elizabeth and Governor Swann in the jail before Will leaves, and after some innuendo Governor Swann breaks the candlestick... then again, there are only so many ways you can take "if it weren't for these bars I'd have you already", or lines like "I was so ready to be married!" ;)

[pith]

Me girl, you give good heading.

Teeheehee. I just watched it again tonight, and I am baffled by the power of PotC movies to make LESS sense with additional viewings. (I gave up on understanding the dice game long ago.)

Elizabeth? "Shapely" bum? In what universe would this be? ;)

(And... who is the Mysterious Lurker you refer to in the last blurb? At the end, I was trying to explain the previous two hours to my mother.)

[mollyringwraith]

Heh, you're right; I really ought to change that to "skinny bum."

The lurker was referred to as Mercer in the credits and script, though I don't recall if they gave his name in the film. I wasn't paying close enough attention. Anyway, he kept popping up to spy on people and kill Gov. Swann's ticket to England, and so forth.

[pith]

I understand the dice game. :) It actually didn't take me long to figure out, it's sort of like a gambling/luck game, it's pretty fun.

[impetuousnote]

Haha! Yessss...I especially like the Action Movie Checklist. I was pretty much doing that in my head the whole time I was watching it. And I'm glad I'm not the only one who didn't get the dice game. What what what??

[mollyringwraith]

Thank goodness; I wasn't just being an idiot on the dice game. Maybe if we knew the rules...

[ahab99]

Oh! There was a post with the rules some time shortly after the movie first came out. I can't remember where it was (if we're lucky it'd be in the main Pirates comm), but from what I remember Bootstrap actually broke the proper rules during that game so not even the writers understood what they were doing...

[gardnerhill]

Don't forget the uglier aspects of the Action Checklist POTC2 was so happy to dish out:

AUDIENCE: Black pirates killed off first for no reason, check. ...Ignorant brown 'ooga booga' cannibal savages, check. Magical Negro, check.

[whapnoggin]

Yeah, I noticed that the cannibals seemed to have conveniently placed all of the lighter (if less clean) pirates in one ball....

[umetnica]

If you go back and look, there was a black pirate in the main character ball. He disappears after they get to Tia Dalma's shack, but he's there.

[whapnoggin]

I'll check once I have my hands on a DVD--thanks!