Rika and the red strings event and love and hate

[moextispicy]

Because I'm still working out how Rika's head works in some ways, and because Lambda's essay made me think about some things.

Comments

[certifiably]

This is all really interesting!

Lambda doesn't exactly hate it when Rika hurts her. She has no problem with the actual being hurt part, really, which is why she does in fact allow Rika to do so, but. When Rika takes it to a certain extent, it just makes Lambda feel... I almost want to say guilty in a way that it doesn't when Bern does? Because like I mentioned, at the moment Lambda views Rika's morals and mindset as being very different from Bern's, so what is just BUSINESS AS USUAL with Bern sort of can make her second guess herself with Rika.

And, well, I think to some extent Lambda worries about Rika leaning towards becoming more like Bernkastel when she's around her. Because although she can obviously appreciate that in the sense that she loves Bern and in some ways she probably feels most comfortable and at home hanging around Rika-acting-like-Bern, Lambda's love is also marked with the underlying awareness of the fact that... objectively, Bern is not a desirable person in the least, not to be around and especially not to be.

[moextispicy]

Yeah, Rika's noticed that too, I think. It's not a major danger in camp, usually, though I do think the CFUW games are leading a lot faster and harder in that direction. The difference I see between them is that part of Rika's underlying rationale is that she enjoys acting like Bernkastel? She knows it's not good for her in the long run, but...in a lot of ways, I think Bernkastel is who Rika would like to be. She's strong, she can hurt people without consequences, no one else can hurt her, she can play games all she wants, she's utterly independent of everyone but Lambda and Featherine