ficlet: Hunting for Witches (Barbara Gordon, Jim Gordon), PG

[modestroad]

Title/Description: Hunting for Witches
Claim: Barbara Gordon
Characters/Pairing: Barbara, Jim Gordon
Word Count: 273
Rating: PG
Prompt: #50 writer's choice for dcu_freeforall and #72 Sorrow for 50_darkfics. For comment_fic. The prompt was 'Author's choice, author's choice, when was the last time you took a good look at yourself in the mirror and smiled

Comments

[modestroad]

My Babs is in a very dark place. She needs all the love she can get. *hugs Babs*

She also needs me to stop deleting the first chapter of my story over and over again

[alexiel_neesan]

Ouch.

I really love the way it's constructed, with Jim's question a breaking point in the repetition of facts before it continues.

(I don't understand this sentence: She has two days to sleep because her legs hurt her like crazy. Something's missing?)

[modestroad]

I was trying something different and amazingly, I liked how it turned out.

Babs suffers from phantom pain. It's a common symptom, but something (along with pressure sores and bowel and bladder management) that DC forgets when it comes to Babs.

[alexiel_neesan]

They forget a lot of things - commons symptoms of someone who is an incomplete quadriplegic, recovery times for people who don't get through the plot device 'meta' and get shot/maimed/hit repetively/have their back broken, physical therapy and real doctors, what bullets really do and don't to human bodies etc etc... along with 'all aliens speak english' and other strains on the suspension of disbelief.

(I got that it was phantom pain, but shouldn't I rather read the sentence as 'She hasn't slept in two days because her legs hurt her like crazy'?)

[modestroad]

'all aliens speak english'

They don't?!?!?! O.o

LOL!

DC and Marvel are remembering the real world only when it comes handy for them. Although, Marvel is not that bad...I think.

Ah, now I get what you're talking. I wanted to keep the 'she has' mood of the story that's why I didn't write 'she hasn't...'

It's not correct and it doesn't make much sense, but I wanted to keep with the rest. I can edit it of course since your sentence is the one that makes more sense and making sense is very important too. :)

[green_batgirl]

Awww, I like it. I think DC makes her really angsty a lot of the time, but they don't really go into the reality of her condition. I like it when stories dig deeper into a character.

I, too, didn't understand what you were trying to say in the line "She has two days to sleep because her legs hurt her like crazy", but I think alexiel up there already suggested a better way to say it.

[modestroad]

Awww, I like it. I think DC makes her really angsty a lot of the time, but they don't really go into the reality of her condition. I like it when stories dig deeper into a character.

I agree! Forget everything else, forget phantom pain, bowel/bladder management, forget that! The woman sits in front of her screen for days and she doesn't have a single sore!

Argh!

And don't get me started with other details like her legs. Babs can give Dinah a run for her money for crying out loud! Some details are good to be there.

I believe it's time to change that line. :) I wanted to keep with the rest of the 'she has' line, but if it doesn't make sense I need to change it.

Thanks for taking the time to read and review my story. :D

[modestroad]

Hmm. Now I have to choose from so many good lines! And I think I just prove to you all why a beta is needed :P

I'm a little disappointed from the way DC treats Barbara. If you want to have a handicapped hero just to be political correct, do it right!

Thank you for reading my story! :)

[modestroad]

Heh! It is like a fan letter to a movie star, no? Not my intention, I swear! :P

Of course Babs has a dark side. Everyone that claims otherwise hasn't be paying attention to her for the last five or so years.

And yes, she's awesome!