ficlet: Hunting for Witches (Barbara Gordon, Jim Gordon), PG

[modestroad]

Title/Description: Hunting for Witches
Claim: Barbara Gordon
Characters/Pairing: Barbara, Jim Gordon
Word Count: 273
Rating: PG
Prompt: #50 writer's choice for dcu_freeforall and #72 Sorrow for 50_darkfics. For comment_fic. The prompt was 'Author's choice, author's choice, when was the last time you took a good look at yourself in the mirror and smiled

Comments

[alexiel_neesan]

Ouch.

I really love the way it's constructed, with Jim's question a breaking point in the repetition of facts before it continues.

(I don't understand this sentence: She has two days to sleep because her legs hurt her like crazy. Something's missing?)

[modestroad]

I was trying something different and amazingly, I liked how it turned out.

Babs suffers from phantom pain. It's a common symptom, but something (along with pressure sores and bowel and bladder management) that DC forgets when it comes to Babs.

[alexiel_neesan]

They forget a lot of things - commons symptoms of someone who is an incomplete quadriplegic, recovery times for people who don't get through the plot device 'meta' and get shot/maimed/hit repetively/have their back broken, physical therapy and real doctors, what bullets really do and don't to human bodies etc etc... along with 'all aliens speak english' and other strains on the suspension of disbelief.

(I got that it was phantom pain, but shouldn't I rather read the sentence as 'She hasn't slept in two days because her legs hurt her like crazy'?)

[modestroad]

'all aliens speak english'

They don't?!?!?! O.o

LOL!

DC and Marvel are remembering the real world only when it comes handy for them. Although, Marvel is not that bad...I think.

Ah, now I get what you're talking. I wanted to keep the 'she has' mood of the story that's why I didn't write 'she hasn't...'

It's not correct and it doesn't make much sense, but I wanted to keep with the rest. I can edit it of course since your sentence is the one that makes more sense and making sense is very important too. :)

[alexiel_neesan]

Marvel works more in shades of grey, and somewhat more anchored to the real world (pop culture trivia exists for real in it, at least). DC likes to see everything in black and white, and if your character is a little bit in the grey area it's just a prelude to the fall into black. (Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!) But apparently Lanterns are excluded from that.

You got me back on tracks for some of my bunnies where Babs Is Being Awesome :)

[modestroad]

That's why I like Marvel more. Don't get me wrong, I'm sick of the way Marvel treats some characters (Jean to name one), but I think that Marvel treats herfans a bit better.

As a Jean fan I shouldn't say that, but as a Babs fan I can scream it! Does that make sense? Both characters are in the 'not favorite' list of the editors (both DC and Marvel), but at least Marvel gives us from time to time titles like X-Men First Class.

Anyway, I can talk all day about Babs and Jean and Jay, and I'm sure you have other things to do.

Like go find those bunnies where Babs is Being Awesome ;)

(If you need help to feed the bunnies just yell; I'll be there in no time. I can be a speedster when it comes to Babs.)

[mithen]

Sorry to jump in here, but you could rewrite the sentence as "She has gone two days without sleeping because..." if you wanted to keep the same structure--I agree, I like the spareseness and machine-like repetition of the same grammar structure over and over again there very much. This is a lovely and heartbreaking little piece...

Edit: Whoops, someone else below suggested that too! I'm sorry to be repetitive... *blushes and runs off*

[modestroad]

Edit it! I have to admit, I like it better this way.

Thanks for reading! :)