Intro and Headcovering questions

[mrsbell]

I am 23 yrs old and married. I have been a Christian for many years but in the church I grew up in there were no specific dress or modesty requirements. About a year and a half ago I decided to switch exclusively to skirts. It was more as a move to look more feminine than an attempt at modesty, though it seems I achieved both. For me the covering

Comments

[silja]

Congrats on deciding to cover! It was a difficult decision for me to, as I live in a very secular area. People will likely mistake you for a muslim, even if your coverings are completely different

[mrsbell]

Thankyou! I'm very excited to start covering.

My boss should be pretty easy going. People can get away with some questionable office attire so I should be able to put on a nice head covering.

Ithink like you sujested I will start covering on the weekends until I become familiar with it.

[mamadeb]

The two best solutions I've found are Parkhurst Hats and headscarves.

My husband was not happy when I decided to cover my hair outside of synagogue, but he accepted it as my choice and as standard Jewish law. It helped when I chose attractive headcoverings, since people like their partners to look nice. So he's fine with it now. I do NOT cover my hair when we're alone in the house, unless I forget or I know I'm going to going out again in an hour or so.

I didn't start working until after I started covering my hair, so that wasn't a factor in my case - also my new boss was a member of my synagogue, so she knew why I did it. And here, I'm really going to sound like a shill for those hats - they're perfect for a casual office, because they're not formal hats and they don't look uncomfortable indoors. Also, they let you show as much hair as you want.

If I worked in a formal office, though, I'd have the option of buying a wig.

[mrsbell]

You know I never thought about making it a point to not cover my hair at home. But that is a very good point. My hair will become something that only he sees and he should see it other than when I brushing my hair out before be.

I'm pretty sure my husband will think I've gone a bit weird for a minute but he'll get used to it just like he did my skirts. Where I live green peace and hippies reign so standing out a little is just par for the course.

Thanks

[_darkvictory]

For those of you who made the transition from uncovered to covered while at the same job, how on earth did that work out? Did you have to have a conversation with your boss? How did you explain it to your coworkers when/if they asked> I work in an accounting department where business casual is required.

I made the transition to covering while working in business casual law offices. I had several of the small Parkhurst hats in my basic wardrobe colors so they matched my skirts. I didn't talk to anybody about it, just started showing up with the hat on. If your workplace dress code spells out "no hats", then you probably will have to talk to your boss about it.

Never wore scarves to the office, but I agree if you wear a scarf of any kind, people will ask if you are Muslim. It's up to you how much you want to say about your decision to cover. I used to say, "It's part of a spiritual development program I'm working on - don't want to go the whole thing right now - we've got that report due Wednesday..."

Good luck to you!

[mrsbell]

I like your suggestion for letting them know its religious, without going into the whole thing. it also sounds far better than "Religious Reasons"

I also don't think its my manager who will say anything about it, she's too easy going (reads: co worker comes in w/ plaid tattered shirt on friday and says nothing)

[malkaesther]

I made the change to covering my hair after marrying for religious reasons, as I'm an orthodox jew. We cover our hair around men that are not our husband. I generally wear parkhurst barets as they come in many colors so they are easy to match to my clothing and are light and comfortable to wear.

I did start covering while at work. I explained on the 1st day after I got married that I'd be covering my hair as part of my religious decisions. My co-workers and boss took it well and just added it to "the list of crazy religious things tasha does".

You will want to explain to your boss and close co-workers why you are covering or people may wonder if you've got cancer and just have not told them. I had a few people ask me about that, that I had not told why I started covering. You might simply say "I tried on a hat at the store the other day and really like the way I look in hats..." if you don't want to get into a religious discussion.

[mrsbell]

I am still trying to decide how strict I will be about my hair covering. Will some hair show . . none? Do you also cover when you have female friends over to your house, or is it allowed to leave it uncovered?

[malkaesther]

I don't cover when alone with women in my house. Nor do I cover when I'm alone at home or with my family. When I do cover, I cover all my hair per jewish law (halacha).

You have more choices available to you and I think you should "try out" different looks and how much hair you are comfortable covering. Try different hats/scarves, try covering just your head and also all your hair, see what feels "right" and go with that. You don't want this to become something you resent or find difficult so find what works best for you and your husband. I don't think there are a lot of sources for you to turn to within your religion to give you hard and fast rules so play with it to find what feels right.

[kalanit_ayelet]

I hope that where you work the people will be understanding, they should be if you explain why you are doing it. I guess I am lucky that all the lawyers at my office are Orthodox Jews and it was quite expected that I would cover my hair when married, I never had to explain it. I cover with a scarf or a hat, depending on what I feel like or what matches my outfit that day. I never know what clients will think though when they see me, but so far most comment on how nice my hats and scarves look and don't actually ask why I am wearing them.

I make scarves myself, www.lauradellal.com if you are interested.

[mrsbell]

(great scarves by the way)

My company is fairly understanding but there isn't anyone who wears anything close to any religious clothing. No Hijab, no long skirts, nothing. I think I'm more anxious about having to explain to them that this is something that I feel is necessary for my sense of modesty. It seems to me the next logical question for them will be "what church do you go to?" or"Does your denomination require it?" and what happens when I say they don't? I think I'm probably just worrying over something that will pass smoothly